Behind The Mask

"Even as a Christian, if you enter the wrong relationship, you will bear the consequence! Remember Joshua and the sun standing still." That warning from God jolted me awake.

I woke up a bit confused. Why was God threatening and warning me in my sleep? What had I done wrong? And what on earth did Joshua and the sun standing still have to do with relationships? The thoughts swirled in my mind, and I desperately sought answers.

After saying my morning prayers, I rushed to my Bible to find out who made the sun stand still. It had been a while since I read that part of my one-year Bible plan, and I needed some clarity. After some searching, I finally found the story in Joshua 10. But here's the catch: I didn't see the connection between this story and the warning I received.

Just when I was feeling lost, the Holy Spirit nudged me to read the chapter before it (chapter 9) and continue to the end. Suddenly, it all started to make sense!

The Israelites had made a grave mistake. They had gone to sign a treaty with a group of people (the Gibeonites) whom they ought not to enter into a contract with. Part of the treaty required the Israelites to help fight and stand by the Gibeonites if there was ever a need to. Not too long after the signing of the treaty, four kings attacked the Gibeonites, prompting them to run to their new allies, the Israelites, seeking their help in the battle, and that's exactly what the Israelites did. The fight was fierce, and the battle was still not over. It was for this reason that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still so they could finish the fight. The Bible says that for the first time ever, a human commanded an element of nature without consulting God, and it obeyed instantly.

Despite this, the fight was still not over, and that was when God himself intervened by sending hail stones to kill the enemy (trust God to come with some effizey because you would wonder how the hailstones only targeted the enemy! Only God can do such things), and the records show that hailstones killed more people than Joshua and his crew did.

So, what has this story got to do with my warning, you ask? The answer is everything. The answer lies in answering this question: Why did the Israelites enter into a contract with People God had asked them not to? They were deceived. The Gibeonites had understudied the Israelites and apparently knew their mandate and knew that the Israelites were not to have anything to do with their kind, so they decided to deceive them and present themselves as someone else. They did well in fooling the Israelites because they physically appeared to be what they claimed. They staged it well, from their clothes to their food and their speech. The Israelites believed them because they fit the part, and the worst part was when they went to meet Joshua, their spiritual leader, and for some reason, Joshua failed to consult God on the matter. Perhaps he felt it was too small a matter to bother God with, or the people looked believable, or he was relying on his own knowledge. I don’t know why Joshua did what he did, but he gave the go-ahead for the signing of the treaty, and three days later, they decided to run a security check on the People.

This security check ought to have been run before signing the contract but they failed to. Behold, they found out that the great and mighty Israelites had been deceived by a small group of people who lived in a neighboring village. Talk about high-level deceit; there it is. Like any normal group of people, the Israelites were enraged at this, but they knew better than to break a contract that they had signed, and so a chapter later, they were faced with a battle that may or may not have been destined for them to fight in the first place if only they had not entered into the wrong agreement, contract, or relationship.

I had not even finished digesting that part of the scripture and revelation when I had a flash of my Pastor, Akila Yusuf (HOTR, Jos), reminding us during mid-week, "When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the temple messenger (priest), "My vow was a mistake (sorry, I didn’t mean it)." That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved (Eccl 5:4-6, NIV, and NLT). Chai, God meant business with this warning, and it was in my best interest to adhere.

The Lessons:

It finally all made sense—what God was trying to tell me. He was warning me not to allow what I see Physically and my supposed knowledge of him to make me enter into a contract, covenant, or take a vow with someone without consulting him and doing due diligence, only to later claim to have been deceived into marrying them. He was saying I needed to avoid a situation where I would later lament; “Oh I didn’t know he was ... (A lair, flirt, cheat, womanizer, drunkard, chauvinist, homosexual, pedophile, insane, gold digger, promiscuous, disrespectful, etc.); otherwise, I would not have married him or her and be considering a divorce and what-nots.

The Israelites entered the treaty based on the false appearance that was presented to them and because they did not consult God. The Bible says we should trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge him, and he will direct our path. With emphasis on the sentence fragment "In all our ways, acknowledge him," which means tell him about every single thing you want to do. Nothing is too big or small to discuss with him, and he will guide you.

 

Never rush into taking major decisions based on what you see. If the Israelites had taken time to research about the people, they would have found out they were their close neighbors and would not have signed that treaty, but they signed it before carrying out their research, which was putting the cart before the donkey. He told me that “for some of you, it’s after three months or three years or less that you begin to see the real person you married and realize everything they presented was a façade to get you to marry them after they have fully understudied you.”

One of the prayers I learned to pray over time is ‘Father, I do not know or see the heart of any man. Only you have the capacity to do so, so please help me so I do not use my human senses to make a major decision! That I also learned from the story of Samuel and David, as he almost anointed the wrong son of Jesse as king simply because he was walking in his own wisdom until God gave him a stern warning and spoke to him. Bless God, he had the ability to hear him; otherwise he would have crowned the wrong person King, just as some of you are about to crown the wrong person King or Queen of your heart based on human wisdom, knowledge, and following your five senses. And if you are sleeping with that person (premarital sex or fornication) and cohabiting, then it even complicates things more because it would take a miracle for you to hear and see clearly.

Another thing God reminded me of was the fact that marriage is not a contract, but an even bigger thing. It’s a covenant done before him, and so I should ensure I know what I am doing before I make a vow or sign a treaty, e.g., your marriage certificate, so I do not come before him or his priests or pastors saying I didn’t know what I was getting into when I agreed to marry ‘so and so.’

Finally, I learned that there are blessings for staying in the fight and trying to right our wrongs. For example, the Israelites realized their mistake, but knew how important vows were to God and so rather than back out when they realized what the Gibeonites had done, they stayed and fought. In doing so, God, seeing their resilience and determination to keep their vow and honor his words, decided to come and bail them out. He took the fight from their hands and gave them victory. 

Now, if you are single and reading this, you have no business reaching this last point because you can walk away now from that relationship, especially if God did not tell you it was your battle to fight. But if you are married and struggling, pray to God before you get that divorce. Seek his opinion and hear what he has to say. In some situations, we need to separate, especially when abuse of any kind is being meted out, but not every separation must lead to divorce. Some can be worked on, and not everything needs us to throw in the towel and call it quits. Sometimes, all you need to do is submit it to God and let him work it out while you both get good counsel that can help.

If you are looking for a place that can help with godly counsel, permit me to recommend the Marriage Enhancement Classes (MEC) that my church, Family Worship Center, holds for couples, and it is non-denominational; even some non-Christians have come and gotten help. If you are single, please ensure you complete good premarital counseling before you say "I DO," because good premarital counseling, as my deacon will say, is for three reasons: “to correct faulty thinking, provide information, and give godly counsel that can help you make better choices and build your home."

Let's remember that relationships are precious, and we should handle them with care. By anchoring our decisions in God's wisdom, we can build strong, lasting connections that honor Him. Seek His will, and blessings will flow in abundance.

So there you have it: a lesson from Joshua and the sun standing still, reminding us all to be wise in our relationship choices. Take it to heart, and may your love journey be blessed!