Friends

 

This year, I started sharing short stories about God's remarkable ability to teleport things, along with some experiences I had at school. If you missed them, you can catch up on Instagram @azintiya. In one story, I spoke about my final year at the university, a year filled with faith-building and the seemingly impossible.

Let me share more stories, but this time, I hope they guide you in choosing friends and highlight the power of having the right support system.

Due to carryovers in my first year, there were subjects I couldn't take until I passed them. However, in the final year, you usually get some grace to carry pending papers to enable you to graduate with your peers. That was usually the norm, but for some reason, in my final year, things were about to get heated up in the Biochemistry Department.

Since "Nothing is easier to bring a group of people together than a common enemy," I and a few classmates who, like me, had pending papers formed a prayer group. They were serious Christians, and we met weekly to pray about our academic challenges. Our group was a combination of the most unlikely, but we were united in purpose and prayers.

I had just finished my industrial training and was getting ready to go back to school for the first semester when one of the group members called to inform me of a sudden change in the department. The acting Head of Department (HOD) was not allowing students to carry 400L courses without passing their 300L counterparts. She told me that some students had gotten it signed while he rejected that of some, so it was a 50/50, and for her, it was not signed. This was a departure from the norm. Panic set in as my heart dreaded the possibility of being a "spillover student."

After our conversation, I sat on my bed and prayed. I told God to please go ahead of me, and if he knew I would graduate that year, he should grant me favor so they would sign the course for me. But if he knew the case would not be so, he should not allow my hopes to be raised and dashed, so he should make them not sign.

While deep in thought, the Holy Spirit reminded me of some of the things a pastor shared with us at Winners Chapel where I followed my older sister and uncle for the Crossover Service (1st January 2006). The pastor, a funny but fiery Yoruba man, had spoken about faith and God’s ability to do the impossible and told us that that year, we would not fail. He said, “Even if you write jaga jaga” in an exam, you won't fail. I am not advising you not to study hard and prepare for your exams, but I need you to know that your ability to pass or fail that year will not be dependent on your level of brilliance and academic prowess. He even declared, “For every student here, no carryovers this year!” and shared some serious testimonies from the lives of his kids, which encouraged me greatly so I was convinced that if God could do it for him, he would do it for me. I listened to him from across the room, and he said it with such confidence that I believed him. Besides, by then, God had already used a pastor at Mountain of Faith to teach me to believe in God’s true prophets.

So that year, I was determined to hold on to the words of that pastor with all my might, and I backed it up with the scripture that says, “Believe in God that you may be established and in his prophets that you would prosper.” If he was a true man of God and God had told him to say what he did, then it would come to pass, and I would not fail anything that year. Little did I know the test of that faith was imminent.

Upon resumption, I prayed for favor and asked that God would order my feet aright as I was told the acting HOD was not around, but another lecturer had been assigned to the task. I went to his office and presented my courses while preparing my heart for the outcome and declaring what the pastor had told us. Surprisingly, he signed everything for me. I was so happy as I left his office. Little did I know that my joy would be short-lived as I later discovered my prayer group friends did not get their courses signed.

Eventually, time went by, and exams were fast approaching. One of the papers that wasn’t signed for the others was coming up, and I didn’t even know how to ask them to pray for me without seeming insensitive as I kept considering how I would feel if they had signed for the others and not myself.

They seemed to sense my burden and offered to pray as one of them said, “Serah, don’t you have a paper to write tomorrow?” I shyly said yes, and they began to pray fervently for me. I was amazed at their thoughtfulness and sincerity. At one point, I could not even pray as I felt overwhelmed with emotions and their support, so I just kept staring at them. I could not comprehend how they could do this for me despite their unmet expectations concerning that course, but that was one of the ways God taught me spiritual maturity.

After prayers, I went to class to attend to something when I ran into some of my classmates who, like me, were lucky to get their course forms signed despite the complications in the department. We started discussing preparations for the exam when they began to advise me not to bother reading anymore as some other classmates who were unable to get the necessary approval to write their pending papers had gone to confront our acting HOD about the issue and proposed that we should not be allowed to sit for the exam. When I heard this, my heart sank. They told me our HOD said that they shouldn’t bother about us because even if we sat for the exams, the papers would not be marked. I then asked them for the way forward, and they told me that they would not bother reading or coming for the exams the next day and advised me to do the same. Being that I was acquainted with them and we were friendly in class, I believed them and took the matter to heart.

I went to my room and cried before God, asking him to intervene in my situation. I reminded him of the prayer request I had tabled before him to please not get my hopes up if I wouldn’t be allowed to graduate that year. After I had prayed and cried, I decided to call one of my most trusted friends, Mulan. When she got to my room, I began to cry while giving her a detailed narration of what I had been told. My friend looked at me and told me not to worry. She shared a testimony about how her mom and a friend of hers had faced a similar situation when they were in university but to the surprise and amazement of classmates who had thought they wouldn't participate in their convocation, they saw them wearing their gowns and receiving their certificates. Her testimony gave me hope (please never miss an opportunity to share your testimony with someone; the bible is not lying when it says it's one of the things that help us overcome the devil), but goodness, this was ABU we were talking about, and the Biochemistry department was something else (if you know, you know).

While I was fighting doubt and trying to encourage myself with her words and testimony, she then burst out laughing and said with certainty, “Don’t believe those people, prepare for your exam and go and write it tomorrow. Which student in our department do you think can have the courage to go and face the Acting HOD and even give ultimatums?” We prayed together, and she left. I struggled to read that night because the devil kept trying to sow seeds of doubt in my heart, telling me I was wasting my time.

The following day, I went to the hall ready for anything. My greatest surprise came when I entered the exam hall, and behold, the very classmates who had told me not to bother coming for the exams were seated in the hall waiting for papers to be shared! My surprise was palpable. We wrote the exams seamlessly.

I left the exam hall thanking God for Mulan, who had encouraged me to go and sit for the exam. I don’t even want to imagine how angry and upset I would have been if I hadn’t gone, only to later find out that the exam held seamlessly and my faithful advisers who told me they would not bother coming for the exam had gone to write. Chai!! I would have been extremely upset and disappointed with myself.

That day, I learned four valuable lessons:

1.      The importance of a robust support system and aligning with individuals who share your faith cannot be overstated; they are pivotal in shaping a person's life.

2.      Surround yourself with individuals who genuinely care about you, enough to pray for your well-being even if they are yet to receive the very blessings they are seeking on your behalf.

3.      Appearances can be deceiving; not everyone who wears a smile and is pleasant necessarily harbors genuine affection for you or has your best interests at heart.

4.      Embrace the mindset of 'always try.' While the possibility of not achieving the expected outcome exists, the worst-case scenario is merely falling short. On the flip side, there is also the potential for success, but you'll never uncover it if you refrain from attempting it.

It's truly remarkable that Solomon, known as the wisest and richest man to have ever lived, emphasizes in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Moreover, Proverbs 17:17a wisely states, "A friend loves at all times!"

I find it disheartening to hear people express sentiments like, "I don't need friends; I'm good all by myself," as they might be missing out on life's richness. While acknowledging that some have been hurt by friends and had unpleasant experiences, it's important to recognize that there are genuinely kind people eager to love, pray, and stand by your side.

I speak from personal experience, having incredible friends who have evolved from companionship to become chosen family. Our bond is founded on choice and love, surpassing the ties of blood, making them some of my best and most cherished assets.

For those who may still doubt the importance of having friends, we'll explore this topic further in my next blog. Perhaps my next story will help shift your thinking a bit. Looking forward to our next meeting.

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Kin and Kingdoms

 As Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) resumed for the year, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia from my high school days when I was first introduced to the challenging topic of the kings in the Bible. I recalled when Reverend Atherton, our Bible Teacher, would take so much time trying to teach us about the different kings and their timelines. The multitude of similar-sounding names and complex timelines made it a daunting subject; knowing I would be tested on the subject matter made it even less appealing. Add this to the boring, tedious life of a Baptist High School student, and you would totally get my plight.

So there I was, about 20-something years later, faced with this “boring book.” As we delved into the study of the books of Kings and the Minor Prophets, I wondered how I would make it to the end. While I could manage the Kings, the thought of the Minor Prophets initially left me a bit flustered, even though I had breezed through many of them years ago. It was, however, not something I was particularly looking forward to. Nevertheless, I embarked on this journey with an open mind, eager to discover what new insights God might reveal to me.

Anyway, we began the study, and I was just wondering what new thing God would teach me or use to catch my fancy. I couldn't have anticipated that this seemingly “dry” topic would hold valuable life lessons, some of which I'd like to share with you today.

One of the first revelations that caught my attention was the interrelation between the books of Kings and Chronicles. It struck me that one provided a more detailed account of the other, shedding light on the complexity of these narratives.

But the real surprise came when I realized that the Book of Kings offered lessons on marriage, choosing the right life partner, and parenting. In case you are in doubt, just keep reading and see for yourself.

2nd Kings 8:18 states, “But Jehoram followed the example of the kings of Israel and was as wicked as King Ahab, for he had married one of Ahab’s daughters. So Jehoram did what was evil in the Lord’s sight.” And 2nd Kings 8:26-27: “Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem one year. His mother was Athaliah, a granddaughter of King Omri of Israel. Ahaziah followed the evil example of King Ahab’s family. He did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, just as Ahab’s family had done, for he was related by marriage to the family of Ahab.”

If by reading these two pieces of scripture you haven’t caught on, then hopefully my highlights did a good job of getting your attention. Jehoram and Ahaziah were said to have followed the examples of the kings of Israel and had done evil in the sight of God, and the main reason given was the fact that they were related by marriage to Ahab’s family or had married one of Ahab’s daughters.

This opened my eyes to the profound impact that entering the wrong family through marriage can have on one's life. Hence, it prompted me to consider how critical it is to be cautious when choosing a life partner, to study their family background, and to be aware of what you're getting into. In fact, family background is one of the first things we discuss in Premarital counseling because a lot of who we are and what we do or will do is influenced by the home and environment we grew up in.

When I saw this while working on my study outline, I was amazed. I had never given much thought to how entering into the “wrong” family through marriage can make or break a human, but there it was, staring right in front of me as it is to you.

While reading that chapter, I heard God say, you need to be careful what you bind yourself to. Study the families and be clear about what you are getting yourself into.

As I continued reading, I stumbled upon another profound lesson in 2nd Kings 11 and 2nd Chronicles 22. Remember I told you that the books of Chronicles and Kings are the same, just that one is the more detailed version of the other; well, now you’ll see it for yourself.

2nd Kings 11:1-3 states, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of the royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom, and they hid him from Athaliah, so the child was not murdered…”

While 2nd Chronicles 22:10 explains it as, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of Judah’s royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom. In this way, Jehosheba, wife of Jehoiada the priest and sister of Ahaziah, hid the child so that Athaliah could not murder him.”

The story of Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah, attempting to destroy the royal family and the courageous act of Jehosheba (Athaliah’s daughter), who protected her nephew Joash, exposed the importance of family dynamics.

It's worth noting that Athaliah was the daughter of the notorious King Ahab and Jezebel. Her actions demonstrated the destructive power of family influences. However, within this evil family lineage, Jehosheba, married to the priest Jehoiada, emerged as a beacon of hope. With her husband's support, they concealed and protected Joash for six years. Jehoiada essentially became a father figure to the young Joash.

2nd Chron 24:2 states that “Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight throughout the lifetime of Jehoiada the priest.” However, vs 17-18: after Jehoiada’s death, the leaders of Judah came and bowed before King Joash and persuaded him to listen to their advice. They decided to abandon the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, and they worshiped Asherah poles and idols instead! Because of this sin, divine anger fell on Judah and Jerusalem.

The end of King Joash’s reign was a sad one. His name was not even mentioned in Jesus' genealogy in both the books of Matthew and Luke, alongside 2 other kings.

Through this, I learned a parenting tip: that as a parent, it is not enough to guide my kids and teach them the word of God. I need to pray constantly that they have their own personal encounter with God, a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit, and are surrounded by the right people so if ever I am not there to guide them, the Holy Spirit, who is our ever-present help, best adviser, and guide, would lead and direct them aright. The goal is to ensure that they can stand firm in their faith even in our absence. While Jehoiada was there, Joash never defaulted, but because his roots were not grounded, it was easy for people to shift and sway him wrongly after the death of his uncle and mentor.

While you are alive, strive to inconvenience yourself if need be and do whatever you must to help sow the right seeds in your children because neither of us knows how long we are here for, and if for any reason you are not, ask yourself whether your children can stand these evil days and the pressures that are before them or would they cave?

As for the singles, I do hope God leads you in making the right choices and entering the right families, and if your family is like that of King Ahab, don’t be dismayed, for you may just be the Princess Jehosheba there to do the right thing. And when you are making a choice in a mate, remember that your choices extend beyond you and can affect generations around you.

See the impact Jehoiada the priest made in the life of Joash, his wife’s nephew. Though not his biological father, he played the role of a father perfectly in the life of the boy. Ask yourself, if something were to ever happen to you, would this person you are with, be able to go the extra mile to love and care for your family members or the things you care about? Without Jehoiada’s support, his wife would never have been able to hide and preserve the life of her nephew.

It's essential to consider whether your partner would go the extra mile to care for your family in your absence. This extends to the choices we make as parents and the role models we choose for our children. I personally sought a mate who could be trusted to love and support my family as I would.

One of the things I looked at when picking a mate was whether or not this candidate would love my family members the way I did and if anything were to ever happen to me, can I depend on him to still love, reach out to them, and be there for them the way I would have? Could my siblings trust my potential spouse and me to raise their kids well if they were not around for any reason?

If ever I have to leave my children in the care of any of my married siblings, I would have no fear because so far, they have been able to marry men whom I am more than confident can be good role models for my children and will raise them right. Hopefully, they would share the same sentiments with me.

I hope these revised reflections on the Book of Kings will provide some clarity and a more seamless reading experience for you.

Allow me to take this opportunity to share a project that God has placed on my heart. In addition to the lessons inspired by my personal struggles and my family, I am in the process of launching a new endeavor called "From My Devotions." Through this platform, I will be sharing insights and lessons drawn from my personal scripture readings. I hope to run this project alongside "Lessons from Nailah." Your prayers, reminders (in case I want to chicken out), and support are greatly appreciated, so please keep an eye out for both of these initiatives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind The Mask

"Even as a Christian, if you enter the wrong relationship, you will bear the consequence! Remember Joshua and the sun standing still." That warning from God jolted me awake.

I woke up a bit confused. Why was God threatening and warning me in my sleep? What had I done wrong? And what on earth did Joshua and the sun standing still have to do with relationships? The thoughts swirled in my mind, and I desperately sought answers.

After saying my morning prayers, I rushed to my Bible to find out who made the sun stand still. It had been a while since I read that part of my one-year Bible plan, and I needed some clarity. After some searching, I finally found the story in Joshua 10. But here's the catch: I didn't see the connection between this story and the warning I received.

Just when I was feeling lost, the Holy Spirit nudged me to read the chapter before it (chapter 9) and continue to the end. Suddenly, it all started to make sense!

The Israelites had made a grave mistake. They had gone to sign a treaty with a group of people (the Gibeonites) whom they ought not to enter into a contract with. Part of the treaty required the Israelites to help fight and stand by the Gibeonites if there was ever a need to. Not too long after the signing of the treaty, four kings attacked the Gibeonites, prompting them to run to their new allies, the Israelites, seeking their help in the battle, and that's exactly what the Israelites did. The fight was fierce, and the battle was still not over. It was for this reason that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still so they could finish the fight. The Bible says that for the first time ever, a human commanded an element of nature without consulting God, and it obeyed instantly.

Despite this, the fight was still not over, and that was when God himself intervened by sending hail stones to kill the enemy (trust God to come with some effizey because you would wonder how the hailstones only targeted the enemy! Only God can do such things), and the records show that hailstones killed more people than Joshua and his crew did.

So, what has this story got to do with my warning, you ask? The answer is everything. The answer lies in answering this question: Why did the Israelites enter into a contract with People God had asked them not to? They were deceived. The Gibeonites had understudied the Israelites and apparently knew their mandate and knew that the Israelites were not to have anything to do with their kind, so they decided to deceive them and present themselves as someone else. They did well in fooling the Israelites because they physically appeared to be what they claimed. They staged it well, from their clothes to their food and their speech. The Israelites believed them because they fit the part, and the worst part was when they went to meet Joshua, their spiritual leader, and for some reason, Joshua failed to consult God on the matter. Perhaps he felt it was too small a matter to bother God with, or the people looked believable, or he was relying on his own knowledge. I don’t know why Joshua did what he did, but he gave the go-ahead for the signing of the treaty, and three days later, they decided to run a security check on the People.

This security check ought to have been run before signing the contract but they failed to. Behold, they found out that the great and mighty Israelites had been deceived by a small group of people who lived in a neighboring village. Talk about high-level deceit; there it is. Like any normal group of people, the Israelites were enraged at this, but they knew better than to break a contract that they had signed, and so a chapter later, they were faced with a battle that may or may not have been destined for them to fight in the first place if only they had not entered into the wrong agreement, contract, or relationship.

I had not even finished digesting that part of the scripture and revelation when I had a flash of my Pastor, Akila Yusuf (HOTR, Jos), reminding us during mid-week, "When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the temple messenger (priest), "My vow was a mistake (sorry, I didn’t mean it)." That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved (Eccl 5:4-6, NIV, and NLT). Chai, God meant business with this warning, and it was in my best interest to adhere.

The Lessons:

It finally all made sense—what God was trying to tell me. He was warning me not to allow what I see Physically and my supposed knowledge of him to make me enter into a contract, covenant, or take a vow with someone without consulting him and doing due diligence, only to later claim to have been deceived into marrying them. He was saying I needed to avoid a situation where I would later lament; “Oh I didn’t know he was ... (A lair, flirt, cheat, womanizer, drunkard, chauvinist, homosexual, pedophile, insane, gold digger, promiscuous, disrespectful, etc.); otherwise, I would not have married him or her and be considering a divorce and what-nots.

The Israelites entered the treaty based on the false appearance that was presented to them and because they did not consult God. The Bible says we should trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge him, and he will direct our path. With emphasis on the sentence fragment "In all our ways, acknowledge him," which means tell him about every single thing you want to do. Nothing is too big or small to discuss with him, and he will guide you.

 

Never rush into taking major decisions based on what you see. If the Israelites had taken time to research about the people, they would have found out they were their close neighbors and would not have signed that treaty, but they signed it before carrying out their research, which was putting the cart before the donkey. He told me that “for some of you, it’s after three months or three years or less that you begin to see the real person you married and realize everything they presented was a façade to get you to marry them after they have fully understudied you.”

One of the prayers I learned to pray over time is ‘Father, I do not know or see the heart of any man. Only you have the capacity to do so, so please help me so I do not use my human senses to make a major decision! That I also learned from the story of Samuel and David, as he almost anointed the wrong son of Jesse as king simply because he was walking in his own wisdom until God gave him a stern warning and spoke to him. Bless God, he had the ability to hear him; otherwise he would have crowned the wrong person King, just as some of you are about to crown the wrong person King or Queen of your heart based on human wisdom, knowledge, and following your five senses. And if you are sleeping with that person (premarital sex or fornication) and cohabiting, then it even complicates things more because it would take a miracle for you to hear and see clearly.

Another thing God reminded me of was the fact that marriage is not a contract, but an even bigger thing. It’s a covenant done before him, and so I should ensure I know what I am doing before I make a vow or sign a treaty, e.g., your marriage certificate, so I do not come before him or his priests or pastors saying I didn’t know what I was getting into when I agreed to marry ‘so and so.’

Finally, I learned that there are blessings for staying in the fight and trying to right our wrongs. For example, the Israelites realized their mistake, but knew how important vows were to God and so rather than back out when they realized what the Gibeonites had done, they stayed and fought. In doing so, God, seeing their resilience and determination to keep their vow and honor his words, decided to come and bail them out. He took the fight from their hands and gave them victory. 

Now, if you are single and reading this, you have no business reaching this last point because you can walk away now from that relationship, especially if God did not tell you it was your battle to fight. But if you are married and struggling, pray to God before you get that divorce. Seek his opinion and hear what he has to say. In some situations, we need to separate, especially when abuse of any kind is being meted out, but not every separation must lead to divorce. Some can be worked on, and not everything needs us to throw in the towel and call it quits. Sometimes, all you need to do is submit it to God and let him work it out while you both get good counsel that can help.

If you are looking for a place that can help with godly counsel, permit me to recommend the Marriage Enhancement Classes (MEC) that my church, Family Worship Center, holds for couples, and it is non-denominational; even some non-Christians have come and gotten help. If you are single, please ensure you complete good premarital counseling before you say "I DO," because good premarital counseling, as my deacon will say, is for three reasons: “to correct faulty thinking, provide information, and give godly counsel that can help you make better choices and build your home."

Let's remember that relationships are precious, and we should handle them with care. By anchoring our decisions in God's wisdom, we can build strong, lasting connections that honor Him. Seek His will, and blessings will flow in abundance.

So there you have it: a lesson from Joshua and the sun standing still, reminding us all to be wise in our relationship choices. Take it to heart, and may your love journey be blessed!

 

 

 

My Journey of Faith: Discovering God's Perfect Plan for Love

I had been praying to God for a while about finding the right partner. I had attended almost every seminar within my reach and read as many books as I could find. I had conducted several undocumented interviews with people I held dear and valued their marriages. I didn’t even hesitate to ask those who did not have the fairy tale ending of their dreams because God told me there were things I could learn from them and not just focus on perfect marriages. All the advice, words of wisdom, and encouragement couldn't alleviate my fear of picking the wrong person, missing God’s perfect plan for me, and making myself and the other person miserable. It was a horrid situation and an unsettling feeling to have.

One day, while my parents and I were traveling back home from Abuja, the car had a tire issue. While waiting for the tire to be fixed, I stepped out of the car and decided to vent my frustration to God. It wasn't a long prayer as usual. It was short but extremely heartfelt. That day, I told God that I was tired of listening to what others had to say about marriage. I was tired of the fearful feeling in my heart, the fear of being left alone and becoming my own undoing. I was tired of reading books and going through the whole process of ensuring I was with the right person. I specifically requested that only God speak to me and address the issues and thoughts in my heart and mind.

After the tire was fixed, we continued our journey. I didn't think much about my prayer or request until I fell asleep that night.

That night, I had a dream. In the dream, I kept hearing God repeat one verse, Psalm 23:1, which says, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want!" The verse seemed to stay on repeat. After a while, I found myself asking God why He was talking to me about provision? I hadn't mentioned anything about lacking food, money, or anything else, so I couldn't understand why He was evading the topic that interested me the most. Then, God asked me the following question: "Serah, what is a sheep?" I replied, "It's a dumb (animal rights people, please forgive me) animal that doesn't seem to know much. In the north, if you do something silly or stupid, your stupidity would be likened to that of a sheep." He then asked me, "Who is a shepherd?" I said, "The one who takes care of sheep, cattle, and the like." He further asked, "Between the shepherd and the sheep, who knows the way?" I said, "The shepherd." And whose duty is it to take care of the sheep, feed them, and protect them?" I said, "The shepherd." He said, "Have you ever seen a sheep having a nervous breakdown because it wonders where it will get the next blade of grass?" I said, "No!" He then said, "Serah, I am the good Shepherd. I know what you need and what you want. I will ensure that you will not lack anything, including the 14 items on your list (this surprised me because I wrote this list in my second year of college and used scripture to support each point regarding the spouse I desired). I will make sure nothing is missing. Like I said, Serah, I am your Shepherd. You shall not want. And if you ever go astray or deviate from the right path, know this, I will find you because it is the duty of the shepherd to ensure his flock is in one place and intact. When the wrong people come your way, I will use my rod and staff to guide you back on the right path and ward off any predators that may come your way. So again, Serah, I am the good Shepherd. You shall not want."

I woke up the next morning feeling very happy, excited, and grateful that God had heard me. But trust human nature, within a few weeks, I didn't see my love story changing, so I went back to God again. This time, I approached Him with frustration and accusations because I had just read the story of "Abraham finding a wife for Isaac" during my devotion (Genesis 24).

I had known this story since I was a child, but that day, after reading it, I was quite upset while praying. I told God, "Can't You see how Abraham went the extra mile to ensure that his son doesn't make a mistake and marry the wrong woman (Genesis 24:1-7)? Look at the extent a human father went to for his son. Yet, you have left me here to do all the work by myself! I'm here exhausting myself to make sure I get it right for both of us, and I don't see Your helping hand in the situation like Abraham's."

As usual, God allowed me to vent and express my thoughts before responding. He told me that since I know how to point out the things people are doing right, He would ask me if I knew what Isaac was doing when Abraham and his servant were looking for the right wife for him. Given that we had thoroughly studied the book of Genesis during Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) that year, my body went weak because I knew where the conversation was headed, and the answer to that question. For those who are too lazy to read, let me help you: I told Him that the Bible says Isaac was meditating when they brought Rebecca to him (Genesis 24:63). He said, "Good, since you know, you should go and do likewise and stop bothering me about my role and what I am or am not doing." He proceeded to tell me that, like Abraham, He had sent the Holy Spirit and His angels ahead of me to ensure that they bring and align my path with the right person. So the next time I want to tell Him His job, I should make sure I am doing mine because He is already doing His (Genesis 24:7).

I would love to tell you that I kept my peace after that, but I'm sure we all know that would be a blatant lie. However, in my defense, I was a bit better after that conversation. The rest of my encounters, I will share in other blogs (if you missed the first one, you can find it at: https://shorturl.at/DGV01), so you have to keep reading to find out how it all ends.

In the end, I realized that God's message to me was clear. He is my Shepherd, and He knows what I need and want. I don't have to fear making the wrong choices or missing out on His perfect plan for me. Just like a shepherd takes care of his sheep, God will guide and protect me, ensuring that I lack nothing. I learned the importance of meditating and seeking God's voice, rather than relying solely on the opinions of others or my own efforts.

I can't say that I instantly stopped worrying or questioning God's timing, but that conversation with Him served as a reminder to trust His guidance and believe that He is already working behind the scenes to bring the right person into my life. So, as my journey continued, I kept seeking God's wisdom, meditating on His Word, and trusting that He would lead me to the partner He has prepared for me—and He did!

 Remember, the journey of finding a life partner is unique for each individual, and trusting in God's plan can bring peace and assurance along the way.

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Picky Me

Assuming I was paid for every time I was called "picky or selective," Dangote and I may be rubbing shoulders by now, but unfortunately for me, name-calling and tagging yielded nothing much except some unwanted feelings.

So, the above was very much my story for the greater part of my life, and each time I heard those words, I often felt sad within because I had gone through the list of things I had asked God concerning a partner, and I didn’t think anything seemed out of the norm or short of what God would want for his child.

I had really good and kind suitors, but for some reason, I didn’t seem to be in love with them, and that was a major issue for almost everyone around me, including myself. At first, it wasn’t such a big deal until my age started to increase, and then the drama began.

For me, dating was like picking a spouse. I didn’t believe in doing things simply because everyone else was doing them, especially when it came to relationships. I wanted to date someone I could consider marrying if it ever came to that point, so with my humble list, I would just decline most offers.

I remember a day I was bashed from every side concerning my "picky and selective nature" after not giving a favorable response to a particular suitor and even being told to be careful before I wake up and see there is "no one left for me and I would end up single and unmarried as some of my relatives."

That day, I was pretty sad and upset because no one appeared to understand and it seemed as if there was already a preconceived notion about me; i.e., I felt too pretty, I was looking for a perfect person who doesn’t exist, or I was looking for some rich, tall, and handsome person... And the list goes on and on.

Although some of these things mattered to me, I had listened to Pastor Paul Adefarasin’s messages on "the right man and the right woman’ enough to know that I should, in his words, "always major in the major and not major in the minor," so those were not my issues.

The more I tried to explain, the less people seemed to understand, so I gave up and decided to go to the one person who I knew understood me better than others. I went to the one place I always ran to when I was in trouble, avoiding a beating, feeling scared, sad, upset, or needing to talk (if you know me well, you will know where I ran to).

So there I was, sitting in isolation, just asking God if I was being unreasonable or asking for too much. I wanted to know if I was, as they said, "too picky and selective" and if that was a bad thing. I wanted him to help me or fix me if I was broken because I didn’t want to wake up and be left with nothing and no one. I didn’t want it to be my undoing.

I poured out my heart and frustrations to God, and he listened patiently and lovingly the way he always does, and when I had finished, I can never forget what he told me.

He said, "It's ok to be picky and selective, Serah. There is nothing wrong with it or with you, especially when what you are asking for is well within my desires for you and, most especially, if you know what you carry or will bear.

He asked me if I knew of anything super special about Mary that was recorded in the Bible, and I quickly thought that there was nothing. The Bible simply says "Mary was a virgin and had been blessed to be selected to be the one through whom His son, Jesus, would come.".

God asked me if I knew how many virgins were in the world at that time. There were so many of them because virginity then was not as scarce a commodity as it is now. So amongst the many virgins, He (God) had to pick one, and He picked Mary.

Mary was engaged to Joseph, whom the Bible records as "a good man," and the story continues.

So the question is, why didn’t God just pick any virgin and any other good guy, because I’m sure there were many of their kind? For whatever reason, He picked Mary and Joseph because He knew who His Son was, knew what His Son was coming to do, and knew the importance of the right family setting in helping the child thrive and live up to His potential.

So God asked me, "Serah, do you know what you carry within you and what your children will do here on earth?" If you know who they are and what they are destined for, then it is not only ok but great that you be "picky and take your time to select the best father for them and the best partner to help you achieve this in them!"

Kindly notice that after Mary saw the angel Gabriel, God never spoke to her again. He always spoke to Joseph from then on, and Joseph always obeyed promptly, meaning Joseph was an obedient person and had listening ears to hear God. I would like to infer from this that he may have had a relationship with God already, which made it easier for him to know when it was God, as well as to listen and obey swiftly. His obedience and ability to hear the voice of God saved Jesus’ life as a child (I’ve started giving tips for what to look out for in a mate o).

After God told me this, I wiped my eyes and was more emboldened to wait on him and to be resolute in the things I had asked him for in a spouse because, in all honesty, a lot of the things I picked were things I saw in him that I loved (another tip).

Time passed after my conversation with God, and nothing seemed to be changing in my life, so, unknown to me, some of my friends decided I needed an ‘Interfriendtion!" And sent a particular lady to come and speak to me. I thought she came for a normal visit, but she didn’t meet my flatmates, who were more of her friends, so I tried to entertain her while we waited for them. In the course of our discussion, she narrated how she had met her husband, and as always, I was interested in knowing how she knew he was the one God wanted for her because I was always afraid of missing God’s will for me. She spoke, I listened, and she asked me a few questions. By the time I had innocently answered her, she continued the discussion and smiled, saying, "They told me you were very selective and indecisive, but from speaking with you, I can see that you are none of that! Rather, you know exactly what you want and you are not willing to take less, so I will pray with you that God will speedily align your path with the one he has kept for you!’

That was when I knew the visit was not a normal one but a planned one, and I was so grateful for it because finally, it seemed like I had found one person who truly listened to me and helped me see that I was ok and was not headed for "disaster or doom as was predicted."

My mom did a great job in selecting a father for me, and I can’t even tell you how my dad’s presence and person in my life has not only shaped me but helped me see, understand, and love God with ease. Hence, the determination to also get it right for myself and my future kids.

Have you been called or tagged with any names you didn’t like or don’t like in your journey to finding a mate? Does it seem like nobody understands what you want? Well, calm down; you aren’t alone. I've been there, and I’m pretty happy with where God has graciously helped me reach. You will be fine. Focus on God, and go back to him to evaluate you more than anyone else.

Always remind yourself that you carry something special within and will birth seeds that will crush the devil’s kingdom. The Bible says that the whole earth awaits the manifestation of the sons of God. It says that the seed of the woman will crush the head of the serpent, so your seed is super important, and if you know that, then take time to select factors that will help produce a good climate for that seed to thrive.

I know my children are not normal or ordinary. They are the light of the world—a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden. They have come to shake the devil’s kingdom and crush his head, so watch out for them.

I pray you will take the time to do right by you and your children because, like my bestie always says, "My children can't choose their dad, but I can! So it's important I choose the right man who would be the right dad to them!"

If you know that so much is at stake, then do it right and allow me to help where I can by sharing some insights and lessons God has taught me during my journey and search.

 

 

 

 

Connecting the Dots

My bestie had found someone online who was helping to coach her and help her discover her life's purpose. She was given a series of assignments and write-ups to do as a way of self-discovery. One day, she came by, and we started talking about it because the issue of understanding and realizing our life's purpose has always been a serious one for most people and not the easiest in all honesty.

I can't count the number of books I'd read, meetings I'd attended, and workbooks I'd begun in an attempt to discover my life's purpose. I had asked God this question so many times because I did not want to miss it and waste the time I had been given. The journey of self discovery is not an easy one for most, and I won't lie, it wasn't the easiest for me either, so I understood my friend's frustrations as well as the process she was going through.

I read some of the things she had written and the answers she had given to most questions. While discussing the topic at hand, I began to share how I had recently answered a few questions like hers for a scholarship application I submitted a few weeks before our conversation because, sometime last year, I took a course in Health Safety and Education (HSE), NEBOSH, as it's something I have always been interested in. Following the exam, a friend of mine showed me a scholarship for a master's in HSE in Canada, which I decided to apply for.

The application seemed straightforward, but the questions were mind-boggling and something that needed great thought. While I tried to structure my answers, the questions seemed to help me rediscover myself as they seemed to take me down memory lane. It asked questions like, "Describe how you hope the program(s) will lay the foundation for your long-term goals and aspirations; and Tell us about a significant "course correction" you have made in your life."For example, this could be a change in your academic path, in how you approach challenging situations, or in how you work with or motivate others."

The more I answered, the more I saw how my ambitions and thoughts had changed over the years. I started out wanting to be a doctor, then moved on to biochemistry, then international social development, learning to sew, and now HSE, as well as wanting to do a Ph.D. In migration while also taking counseling and mediation courses. My life didn't seem to have any particular pattern, but while reading my heartfelt answers, I realized that in every ambition, course, or thing I had set out to do, at the bottom was the dire need to help humanity, my country, and its people. Although I kept trying to go about it in different ways, my goal and aim never changed, only the strategy. Whatever life presented to me, I always tried to find a way to see how I could use it to help someone (sort of like I hope my blog is doing right now).

Anyway, the moment I realized that, I felt so good as it finally seemed like I was solving my life's mystery and puzzle because, for a long time, everyone around me seemed worried at the haphazard pattern my life and ambitions were taking. It seemed like I was just jumping from place to place and field to field without much direction. While sharing this with my bestie, God reminded me of an event that happened when I was much younger which would help us both.

So believe it or not (for those of you looking at me with Agbero eye), as a child, I spent some of my early years in America, and there was a particular day when I was in second grade, they took all the second graders and had a special presentation done for us.

The school had invited this lady, who had a special gift. In my opinion, she could see things that the normal eye could not. She was able to 'bring dots to life!"

The lady asked for volunteers who would make dots on the whiteboard. The first kid went and did it. She looked at the board for a few minutes and then began to connect them. Before our very eyes, the scattered dots became an animal we knew or some item we could all name.

While everyone was amazed by this, the Nigerian within me thought there was some hanky-panky going on.  I assumed she was able to connect the dots because the kids were doing a ‘lousy job’ in scattering them. They were making it too easy for her in my opinion. I thought to myself, if the opportunity arises, I will go up there and show them what they were supposed to do, and let me see how this woman will be able to connect these dots into something meaningful without leaving any out (you thought I was going to be like the woman with the issue of blood and think some faith thing abi.smh@me). She had already done it twice, and everyone was amazed.

My long-awaited opportunity soon presented itself when they asked for the last volunteer, my hands shot up so quickly. I got to the board and created a super mess. My dots were in different places. Some are very far apart, while others are very close. I stood back and watched my ‘work of art’ before handing the marker over to the lady and going back to see what she would do.

I was sure I had her ‘checked out’ and just wanted to see how she would not be able to do much with mine.

The lady stepped back for a while without saying much but had a super-sweet smile. I sat in my seat, super proud of myself. All of a sudden, the lady moved to the board and began connecting the dots. I could not believe my small eyes (trust me, they are super small). She connected everything and drew a beautiful whale!

Goodness, the whole class, including myself, burst into applause because nobody honestly thought she would be able to make much out of the scattered things I had put up.

As I shared this story with my friend, I understood what God was telling me as well, as I'm sure most of you already know where I'm headed.

Many times, some of our lives look like they are a big mess and we can't seem to make sense of it, and there are just so many odd things that have happened or are happening at different times and places, but guess what? There is good news. If we simply give the right person the pen or marker of our life, they can produce a beautiful picture of our"seeming mess" or "unstructured lives!"

None of my teachers had the gift the lady had, and so assuming I had given any of them the marker, they would not have been able to do much, but in the guest's hand, she had eyes to see beyond the scattered dots and see beautiful images.

To date, I have no idea what you call what the lady could do, but honestly, her talent blew me away.

One of my favorite verses in the bible is Romans 8:28, which says, "For we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called by his name!" As I previously stated in other blogs, "all things" refers to everything, including the decisions we made correctly, our mistakes, and our regrets.

So before you get all jittery and anxious about not knowing if your life is making sense or if, as it seems, things are going haywire this 2023, just give God the marker and watch how he masterfully and creatively connects all the dots as well as uses every incident for your good and his glory. It will all make sense in the end. Trust him!

 

The Proposal

My boyfriend had finally asked me to marry him, and I was super excited. God had given me the person I had asked for, I had just gotten a good job, he had a good job, we both loved God, and nothing could get better than that. Finally, everything seemed to be falling in pleasant places for me after a long time of waiting and hardship.

A few months after he proposed, we started attending premarital counseling classes and were making plans for the wedding and he mentioned that the wedding would be based on faith. I didn’t think much about it because I felt he was just speaking ‘Christianese.’ It was not until we started budgeting and discussing the finances for the wedding that I truly understood he meant what he had said. The money we needed and what he had in his account at the time were insufficient to fund the wedding I had always desired. It was at this point, I truly understood what he meant by "the marriage will take place by faith," and so the faith walk began.

I started by writing down all the things we needed and putting the prices alongside. We prayed over it and just kept trying to sort out what we could with what we had. The wedding was in about 2 months, and there was little or no money in sight, nor was there help coming from anywhere. An uncle of mine had offered to pay for the venue as his gift to us, and I had a wedding dress. Beyond that, everything else was at a standstill.

The wedding was in a month's time, and I had been considering asking that we postpone it because I did not see how we were going to meet up, but we kept praying.

On one of those off days, I was at the office working on a computer, but my mind was far from it as I was thinking about the wedding. A colleague of mine, whom I barely knew, came inside and started chatting and asking about the wedding. I smiled and said all was well, then kept working on my screen. I don’t know why, but for some reason, she began to share her wedding adventure with me and the cases were so similar, but hers seemed worse than ours. She then told me that it got to the point where she wanted to move her wedding forward because the finances didn’t seem to add up, and she just didn’t know how they would do it. That was the point at which she actually got my attention. I kept listening to her story with great interest to see how it would end. She told me that everything seemed to work out beautifully. As she sat in on her seat at the wedding, she was in awe of God’s goodness. Talk about the testimony I needed to hear.

The conversation moved on to other things, and she left. It wasn’t until years later that I told her how much her testimony, vulnerability and sharing helped me. Her testimony gave me courage and built my faith to know that if God could do it for her, he would do it for me as well.

Despite her testimony, no money seemed to be coming in and to compound matters, a widow my fiancé and I had adopted during our church’s “widows' and missions'” week asked for help. She had never ever called for anything, but that day was different; she was almost crying and narrating how her landlord had threatened to throw her and her kids out for not keeping up with the rent. I was so upset at the thought that someone could look at a person in that condition. While I was ranting and mad at the man, the lady quickly stepped in and begged me not to take offense at him because he had really tried for them, as they had been owing him for a while but couldn’t meet up with the balance. Her honesty intrigued me. I asked her how much it was, and she told me. Chai, see us looking for money, and see money looking for ways to leave us. I called my fiancé and told him the issue, so we resolved to pay the money quickly and just let go of things we had put aside for the wedding. I know how it feels to lack and to hear a mother in need for her children was a feeling that was more real to me than can be imagined. So we sent her the money quickly. I can never forget her call the moment she received the money. She said, "Thank you! Tonight my children and I will be able to sleep without fear! "I'm so grateful." And she prayed for us some more (I believe this was one of the unknown genesis of our breakthrough).

So there we were; November was rounding up, and our list was more unticked than ticked.

One day, on my way to work, I was asked to drop a family friend at the junction and while driving, he shared with me why he had come to Abuja and how he had just gotten a ticket to campaign for a house of representative’s position for his state. He told me how much the ticket cost at that time and goodness, it was so much. He said someone or a group had paid for him, so he was coming out. I prayed for him and wished him well as he disembarked from the car.

That conversation was exactly what I needed to get angry in the spirit in order to pray. The chances that my family friend would win the election were 50/50, and yet, someone was willing to risk that amount and buy him a ticket.

As I drove, I began to present my argument and strong points before God on why we needed the money we were asking for. If a person can do that for a family friend, then my heavenly father can do much more for me.

I told God how he was the One who instituted marriage and how Jesus didn’t fail to provide wine at the wedding at Canaan to save the couple and their families from embarrassment. I told God that I had never seen a king whose child struggled to get money to get married or do something they felt was important. If a common human king could do it, then I see no reason why my Heavenly Father, who is not just a king but the King of all kings, will be silent and watch his children struggle to get funds to carry out a project that is noble and instituted by him.

By the time I got to work, I had finished my prayers and vexation and was headed for a meeting. Our office had not paid some money due us, and we were tired of the wait. A few minutes into the meeting, I just heard a message alert. I checked my phone, and lo and behold, that pending money had been paid. I was so happy. I was so thankful, and I knew God had heard.

That same week, my husband’s office nominated him to go to Germany for a training, and the Esta-code for them was an amazing sum. Goodness, my Heavenly father was working overtime, and I was happy. It was as if he was waiting for me to realize whose child I was. I was the child of the most-high God, the King of all Kings and the Lord of all Lords, and my heavenly father was going all out for this child who dared to ask.

As if that wasn’t enough, relatives, uncles, friends, and family began sending money and asking what needed to be done even without being asked. To top that one, on my fiancé's journey home, their flight had issues, and upon arrival, the airline paid them another huge sum as compensation. God was working everything out in our favor.

With only two weeks left, I was already overwhelmed by God's goodness, and if He had stopped there, I would have been grateful, but He refused. He was out to blow our minds. I went to drop a card for my uncle and hadn’t met him yet, so I went back a second time, but this would be my last attempt as I needed to travel to Jos for my send-forth, so I said I would simply drop the card with his security and ask him not to be offended that I wasn’t unable to wait and hand it to him myself.

As I got in, my uncle came out, and I gave him the card. He then looked at the card and asked if we had gotten someone to do our wedding decorations because he had someone he would like to bring to do it. I thanked him and told him not to bother, we had already gotten someone. He then handed me a very large sum of money and said we should use it to pay for the wedding decorations, and I should use the rest to take my friends out since it was my birthday. I was surprised because I truly wasn’t expecting anything as he had done more than enough for me in this life time (please help me just say a blessing for my uncle J). I didn’t even know how huge the sum was until I got into my friend’s car and gave them their share of the birthday money because I was too over whelmed with wedding activities to bother with my birthday.

My fiancé had been saying he wanted to go on honeymoon, and I thought his priorities were mixed up because, for me, I was just begging God to help us have a decent wedding and enough food for everyone. Beyond that, I did not feel a need to burden God, but my fiancé kept praying about it and for him, it was even more important than having souvenirs or anything else.

Wedding preps were moving better than expected when my friend’s mom called and said, "Serah, I’m so sorry I can’t make the wedding." I’ve tried to see how I can do it, but I won’t meet up. "I will send you a little something as a gift!" I thanked her and went about my business. A few minutes later, the alert came in, and I almost ran out of the house.

At this point, I was crying so much because I had barely known her and she honestly didn’t owe me anything. Her daughter was my friend and I had never done much to deserve her friendship, so I was overwhelmed by her mother’s generosity.

At a wedding of barely enough, I saw God show up in ways we could never have imagined and if you're wondering if my husband got his request, he did. In fact, we both did. God even arranged two honeymoons for us because our booking to Dubai had issues, so we had to stop in Kenya and lodged in a beautiful hotel for a few days before moving to Dubai.

Like the wedding in Canaan, God ensured there was an excess of everything. Wedding souvenirs, drinks, and food were in excess to the extent that they were begging people to bring bowls to take things away.

When God throws a party, he throws it well and when He celebrates His children, He does it in style.

If you got married and there was never a time you thought to move it, congratulations! You are among a privileged few because too often, I meet people who are almost overwhelmed with wedding bills, especially if you are from my country, Nigeria.

I decided to share my story to remind and encourage someone who is planning on getting married or preparing for a wedding and is discouraged that God will show up if you invite Him. Remember who you are and whose you are, and tell your Father what you need. Ask Him for anything and leave no detail out, then step back and allow Him to demonstrate that He is an amazing Father who enjoys helping His children.

Do you have a wedding story or testimony of God’s timely provision to share? Please help someone overcome today by saying what and how God supernaturally met a need in your life. For the blood of the lamb and our testimonies have triumphed over us.