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Has your child ever done anything that made you feel like your spirit was about to leave your body?

Well, that was my story with Nailah December 2017- January 2018. Three times in less than two weeks this girl had done stunts that scared the life out of me.

What can a two and a half-year-old do to get me so frightened you may you wonder? Hhmm, read on and see for yourself.

We had gone to Jos to spend Christmas with my parents and as usual, Nailah was as energetic and as active as ever. She is like a little energizer bunny and keeps going and going without breaking down. Anyway, here in chronological order are the things my daughter did that scared me out of my wits.

My Husband’s cousin was getting married and while at the reception, she wanted to go to the restroom. Nailah and I went to the bathroom and on our way back, she just bailed on me. She loves to play hide and see and there I was in a crowd of people searching for her. I was scared stiff. I asked my Husband if she had come to him, but no, she wasn’t there. I was heavily pregnant and wearing heels, don’t ask me why I was wearing heels (hey, I guess looking good in pregnancy is good business) and at a point I didn’t even realize when I removed my shoes and started scanning the wedding venue frantically looking for her. The thoughts running through my mind were ‘God, please don’t let them steal my child, she is small and they can easily make away with her at this Christmas period’. Other crazy thoughts kept coming while I was battling them in prayer asking for the help of God’s angels which are assigned to help us. Out of nowhere, she pops out like a daisy smiling. Man, I was relieved, but angry and almost smacked her. I held her firmly and asked her never to do that again, she could see fear all over my face and she hugged me and said “ok Mummy”.

The second scariest experience came about two days after the first. My Mum, Husband, Nailah and I had gone to the park and were on our way home when we decided to stop to get some money from an ATM located close to a very busy street. When we were done with the ATM my Husband opened the door and Nailah just ran out headed for the street. My Husband barely got a hold of her and yanked her back when some cars came a few minutes later. I was shaking by then as I could still recollect the incident at the wedding.

The last one happened on our way back to Abuja. The driver wanted to stop and partake in the Jummat prayers. We decided to stop to eat and stretch while we waited for him. Nailah and her Aunties (my Nieces) were at the back of the car and as one of them came out Nailah followed her. I don’t know what my Niece was doing that she wasn’t holding her hand, but just as I stepped out of the car and was looking for her I saw her at the edge of the road blabbing excitedly about a used tire she saw hanging and calling it a hula hoop. She was just about to cross when I grabbed her hand and pulled her back. I was just lucky the road was a very bad one with so many ditches that drivers had to slow down to maneuver. The look the oncoming cab driver gave me was one of disgust like ‘irresponsible parent’.

That was the last straw for me. I had been praying throughout the previous ordeals but this one just scared me silly because I kept thinking of all the ‘what if’s’ like, ‘what if the road was not so bad speed bumps? What if the car had hit her? What if I had gotten out late? Those are super scary thoughts for any parent, especially a Mom.

I would literally give my life to protect my babies and I always try so hard to protect them and keep them safe, but the events of that week and the one before was freaking me out so I ran back to God with so many questions and throwing all my fears and cares before him. “What is happening God and why are you letting all these things happen? Have I done something wrong or what are you trying to tell me?” I was confused and needed answers.

When I entered that prayer session mode before God that day, I was a frightened and confused Mother in need of help, answers, and solutions. During my session with God that day, He told me one thing. “Nobody is out to hurt your child Serah and you have done nothing wrong. I just want to teach you and show you that no matter how much you love this child and any other child, your ability to protect them and keep them from harm’s way is limited.” He told me “Serah It is beyond you. Many times you say you know it, but you do not act it. I see the way you go about doing things and it is ok to do your best, but I need you to truly acknowledge the fact that I and I alone am unlimited in my ability to keep and protect the things you value and cherish the most.”

I was so humbled when I left his presence that day. Since then, I have always told God ‘Father, I accept my inability to protect my children and so I place them before you, the limitless God to keep them from all harm. Your word says that whatever I place in your hands, nothing can take out of and so I place them in your care and ask for the ministration of your angels to encamp themselves around them as the mountains surround Jerusalem. I ask that they catch them, lest they hit their feet upon stones as you have said they would in Psalm 91’.

Since then, I have learned to relax a bit more and truly trust God with the affairs of my kids even though some days I still get it wrong but I am a work in progress. I am fully aware that despite my best efforts it is the Lord that truly protects and that is very comforting. Have you ever been faced with scary circumstances regarding your children? How did you deal with them? Have a lovely week.

THE TESTIMONY

6^th Of May, 2018 started like any other day in my pregnant life, but let me take you through it:

 It was a Sunday morning and I was struggling to wake up and go for first service. I had an awesome time at church; however, on getting home, I started feeling cramps so I took panadol and slept off. I was supposed to meet up with my sister and a few friends for a photo shoot. Woke up some hours later still feeling a bit unwell but hey, I had a photo shoot session and I was not about to have it looking crappy. A bit of powder and professionally done eyebrows later, I was off for the photo-shoot. Little did I know my sister, cousins and friends were planning a surprise baby shower for me.

After all the fun, the pain didn’t seize. I didn’t even realize I was in labor until my sister insisted we go to the hospital. So there I was at the hospital with my party crew by my side. The Doctor came in and carried out his examination, then wheeled me upstairs for another round. There I was lying down with so many machines belted to me not knowing anything was happening, until the main gynecologist came in and broke the news to me. My daughter’s heartbeat was way over 200 and he was suspecting it had to do with her umbilical cord. He quickly notified me that the delivery would no longer be vaginal but through Caesarean Section (CS). Wow!! That was not the plan I had in mind when I got there, but that seemed to be God’s plan for this baby. While still trying to process the news I had just received, God quickly put a thought in my heart before the fear of the unknown would catch up with me as I had always heard bad stories about such.

AJIKE’S STORY:  I recalled a day at the office when my friend (Ajike) shared her birth story with me. She had given birth in Canada and the baby just fell straight to the floor in the house with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. With neither a Doctor nor nurse in sight, she just un-wrapped it and rushed to the nearest hospital. At the time we were discussing this, he was barely a year plus and he was one of my favorites. When she told me this, I was in awe and I marveled at what had happened.Little did I know that God had allowed me hear that for a reason.

BACK TO ME: When that thought crossed my mind, I knew my baby and I were going to be ok. For the first time ever, I truly understood what the bible meant in Revelations 12:11 when it says ‘We overcome the Devil by the blood of the lamb and with the help of our testimony’. Because I knew the end of her story, I seemed to have more confidence that mine would be as good and even better.

That day, I learnt the power in sharing a testimony and the true meaning of that scripture. Testimonies are never meant for us to keep to ourselves, but to share with others so we can help build their confidence on days when they need it most. You do humanity a disfavor when you hold on to your testimonies and what God has brought you out from. If my friend Ajike hadn’t shared her story with me, I could have been scared, paranoid and so much more.

There is a Hausa adage that says ‘barawo ne mai raina kyauta’ meaning that it is only a thief who looks down on a gift. In other words, there is never a testimony that is too small to say; only hearts that are filled with ingratitude will look down on what God has done for them and keep it to themselves.

This year, be determined to be like the psalmist) who says ‘in the assembly of your people, Lord, I told the good news that you save us. You know that I will never stop telling it’ (Psalm 40:9 GNTD).

THE GRATITUDE ATTITUDE:

A LESSON FROM ANAIAH

Last year, I was asked to write a little about gratitude and for the love of me, I didn’t know what to say or where to start from. I guess this is because somewhere deep within, consciously or unconsciously I had always felt I have a right before God.

I felt I deserved most of God’s blessings upon my life; either by following the rules and paths he had set for me, my adherence to his words, paying my tithes, offering and basically trying my best to obey him. I felt that a summation of all the aforementioned had justified me to have the right to enjoy the blessings. All this changed in May 2018, when my life took an absolutely different turn which would help me truly learn the gratitude attitude over the rights attitude.

Growing up, I remember getting upset with God if things did not quite go as I had planned or prayed. I would often tell God “you promised…, You said…,while other times I would say things like you said if I did…., you would do…., but you didn’t”. I would get really upset with him over things. Safe to say, God knows me and knows I love as well as believe him so much; perhaps that is why he was so patient with me but I guess it’s mainly because he is such a loving Father.

Anyways, in May 2018;

I was pregnant and had been trusting God for a set of twins (a boy and girl). My Doctor and I had been going back and forth over the number (story for another day) because I just kept telling him I want two babies.  The day of delivery finally arrived (6^th of May, 2018) but it came with a little twist (another story for another day). I delivered a very beautiful baby girl through C section. I was alive and so was she.

Two days later, my daughter (her name is Anaiah by the way) fell ill (malaria and sepsis) and was rushed to the ICU of a pediatric hospital. I cried my eyes out the first time we got there. It was just so disheartening to see her with tubes and an oxygen mask (she just seemed too little for it all).

The next day, we were at the hospital with my husband and I was opportune to meet the mothers of the other babies who would be my daughter’s roommates for the next 6 days. Those women were strong, true believers and beautiful women. They showcase the true meaning of the word ‘Mother’.

Anaiah was the only girl in the midst of 3 boys and seemed to be the healthiest out of them all, as two of the boys were between 21-26 weeks old and had been placed in the incubator, while the other boy had a severe case of jaundice.

During our stay at the ward, another lady came with her 8 year old who was very ill. Despite all our prayers, the little girl died in our presence.  In my entire life, I had never seen such and it shocked me.  My daughter and the little boy with jaundice were discharged on that same day. 

My joy was short lived as word reached me two days later that the strongest of the boys in the incubator had passed away. While all this was happening, I received more bad news as a friend of mine who had been attending antenatal with me had lost her baby. She had given birth through CS as well and in the same hospital I had. She had given birth to a baby girl who was sick and rushed to the same hospital Anaiah had been and placed in the ICU as well. A day after this loss, the other little boy in the incubator died also.

While I pondered over the entire events that I had been through and the information I had received in barely two weeks, the reality of the scripture ‘who am I that you are mindful of me’? Made more meaning to me.

I kept wondering what I have done to deserve the love and unmerited favor of God that He spared my child. It was at that very moment that I truly learnt what gratitude attitude really is.

I wake up every day and I am simply in gratitude. I am grateful to be alive, grateful to have my children and loved ones alive. I don’t feel I have any rights before God anymore. Whatever I ask for, if he gives me, I am grateful, but if he doesn’t, I no longer get upset, angry or agitated. I am simply grateful to be alive and that all is well with my family.

It is true that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him, but it is never in the position of the worker or servant to dictate to his boss what type of reward he is deserving of nor when he should give it to him.

I pray you don’t have to learn the hard way, the way I did before you change adopt a gratitude attitude over a rights attitude.

DETANGLING PROCESS

My cousin and I were working late at night trying to rescue one of my weaves which had become super tangled. Prior to now, I had given my stylist to help me wash and handle. One look at it, he declared that the weave was useless and only fit for the bin because to him, it seemed irredeemable.

I quietly picked my weave and gave my best friend who believed she may be able to assist. A bottle of conditioner later, some shampoo and a trip to the microwave still seemed fruitless. My acquaintance had handed it her best shot, merely like the hairdresser, she stated it could not be salvaged.

So there I was, with a now semi dry and super tangled weave. I thought it best to simply throw the wave away and cut my loss, but goodness that weave was super expensive and I just could not bear to let it go so I decided to give it one last try.

Fortunately for me, my cousin had come to visit and was willing to help me work on it. Gently and patiently we kept trying to detangle and comb out each line. Sometimes, I got frustrated at some and would just want to dump it, but my cousin would pick them up and work her way through it patiently till it was loose enough for me to comb.

About three hours later, we were finally done!!! I had lost a little hair from the detangling process, but  had salvaged more than I had lost and much more than I would have, assuming I had taken the advice from my stylist to throw it away from the get go.

While working on the weave with my cousin, God laid this in my heart:

Lesson: sometimes, life can get complicated. We can make wrong decisions or bad choices, e.g. wrong choice of spouse, have a one night stand that gets you pregnant, join bad friends, start a habit that leads to a nasty addiction, live in outright disobedience to God and his commands, etc. and we end up in a tangled web of mistakes as well as regret, confusion, frustration, anger and bitterness to mention a few.

At times, our situation gets so bad that people are willing to give up on us, some may try a little (like my best friend) but when it gets too complicated, they also may throw in the towel.

The only person in this life who will not give up is the owner. This may simply be because of the value he/she places on the object as well as how much it cost him.  I knew what that weave meant to me and how much it cost me to get it so I was willing to fight and work to see it restored. Any idea to salvage it, I was ready to try. In like manner, that is how God works with and in us, if we allow him to help us when we mess up or just have a record of bad choices. Sometimes we get ourselves in the mess while other times we just find ourselves all tangled up. God takes his time to detangle us the way I and my cousin took time to detangle the weave.

You/ we are worth way more to God than any weave. The blood of his only son is what he used to purchase us and so he is never one to give up on us. That is why Romans 8:28 says ‘for we know that all things (good, bad, right choices, wrong ones) work together for the good of those who trust God and are called by his name’.

Family, friends and well-meaning people can give it their best, but once it is beyond them, they can give up on us. The only one who is always ready and willing to talk it through to the end is God.

Prayer: Dear Lord, help me always find my way back to you when I stray. May I never forget your undying love for me.

THE CHALLENGED IDENTITY

We live in a world and society that almost always wants proof. It constantly wants us to prove ourselves and worth at every point in time. Sometime this month, the issue of vision and one’s purpose just kept popping up at almost every meeting my husband and I attended. One day, while pondering over the issue, God opened my eyes to this fact: the devil will forever keep taunting and questioning us over the issue of identity if we don’t know the answer. He will use it to wage war against you and destroy you if you are ignorant of this one fact. He will seek to ask you three questions at every meaningful point in your life and here they are: Do you know who you are and whose you are? If you do, then prove it.

Have you ever sat to ask yourself why the Devil kept challenging the identity of Christ at any given opportunity? Why he kept asking him literally, ‘do you know who you are? If you do, then prove it’. Twice, the bible records, the Devil asking him this one question while he was sent to the wilderness to be tempted before the start of his ministry. He said ‘If you are the son of God then……’ (Mat 4:3-7 NLT). Even unto death, the Devil kept taunting and questioning him over this issue. Twice he did this by using the people to say ‘if you are the son of God, save yourself and come down from there’ (Mat 27:40-44 NLT).

Herein lies the secret why Jesus did not fall into the temptation to prove his identity. Simply put, He knew who he was. He was grounded in his identity and knew that he didn’t need to prove anything to the devil because whether he did anything or not, it would never change the DNA that ran in his blood.

In the New Testament, there are very few times you ever hear God speak directly and in the hearing of people.  It’s like he was almost silent in that whole era. However, there were a few times his voice was heard and that usually only occurred whenever he was talking about his son.  More than once, he declared loudly and publicly how much he loved his son by making statements like “this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased’!

God knows the importance of validating his son’s identity. He knew the Devil was going to challenge this fact almost all through his life and so he was not going to leave it to chance. He was not going to hope his son knew how much he loved him or what he meant to him. He was not going to sit and think it in his heart and mind as so many people do these days. No, he was going to speak out of the hearing of all and proudly declare his love for his son. 

He didn’t just stop at telling him he was his son, but went further to declare how pleased he was with his son. He therefore affirmed it to Jesus.

That is why no matter what the devil was asking and saying to him in the wilderness, Jesus was not moved because his loving Father had already told him who he was and nothing was going to change that. He had said it in his hearing and the hearing of others.

Ever too often, people get carried away and do stuff they are not supposed to. They join groups and gangs simply looking for someone to tell them who they are. They seek acceptance, approval and love. They easily fall into the devils trap of trying to prove themselves to people and sometimes, to themselves. More often than not, all they are lacking is a thorough knowledge of who they are and whose they are.

When you know who you truly are, then you know that you do not need to prove anything to anyone because whether you do it or not, it can never change who you truly are.

I have two daughters and no matter what they do or if we ever have a falling out, they can never change the fact that my blood runs in their veins. Nothing in this world can ever change that. Even if they went for surgery and did an entire blood transfusion, it would not change the fact that I am their mother because my DNA is in them.

So, let me help some of you know who you are and whose you are in case you have forgotten or do not have earthly guardians who have helped you realize this. You are the child of the Almighty God; you are favored; you are blessed; you are unique and beautiful. God is in love with you and nothing you do can ever change that.

When the devil tries to ask you those deceitful three questions he always asks at any point in time, you just open your mouth and tell him these things.

He will back off.

Lessons from Nailah: KUNUN AYA EXPERIENCE

Lessons from Nailah: KUNUN AYA EXPERIENCE: On our way home from church last Sunday,  Nailah  and her god mother were trying to share a local drink we call 'kunun aya' aka Tig...

KUNUN AYA EXPERIENCE

On our way home from church last Sunday, Nailah and her god mother were trying to share a local drink we call 'kunun aya' aka Tiger Nut Milk. Her godmother put a little in her plastic bottle but Nailah wasn't having it. She looked at the content and immediately told her with great disappointment, 'it's too small'!! Her godmother looked at her and laughed saying ' you haven't even finished it yet and you are complaining it is too small'!

I immediately told Nailah that is not proper manners to say such. When you are given something, first of all say 'thank you', finish your drink and then, ask for more.

I hadn't even finished closing my mouth when I heard God tell me ' do you realize you behave just like her'? before I could even put up a protest, he reminded me of the numerous times I get paid my salary and don't even take time to say 'thank you' but rather, start complaining and lamenting in my mind about how the money is already finished and all the expenses I have and how the money simply won't be enough.

God told me to take my own advice and start by giving thanks for all he had given me. When and if I finish using up my resources, then I can feel free to ask for more and see if he won’t give me.

I was humbled immediately as I could see myself in my daughter.

So what's the lesson in all this you ask?

Always learn to first give thanks to God for everything he brings your way and gives you. If it is not enough when you are done, go back to him and ask for more because He loves to meet our needs and yes, when Nailah was done, she didn't even ask for more because she realized what she had in the bottle was more than enough for her. 

Philippians 4:6-7

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

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