THE RACE

Adrenaline pumping, drums beating, students singing, excitement and jubilation everywhere that is how you know inter-house sports was here!! It was Jss3 second terms and all three houses were on the field watching the races to see which house would emerge as the winners. The school had three teams, namely, the Naraguta house (Blue house), Agboola (yellow house) and the great Whirley (Red house and as you can guess, my house).

On this particular day, we were having the four by four relays. Although the race had gotten off to a beautiful start for everyone, things started turning a bit sore for Agboola and Whirley house somewhere in the middle.  Naraguta house was in the lead, followed by Agboola and then Whirley. I was so sad my team was coming last despite the best efforts of our guy. While I watched with all hope lost, something happened at the 50-meter dash that changed the entire event for all watching and me especially.

The Naraguta Guy saw a clean sweep ahead with the next runner almost 100 meters behind him and the next one about 150 meters away. The guy turned around and started taunting the other runners playfully, beckoning them to come to catch him. It was all fun and games until he turned around,tripped and fell on the ground.

The whole school froze in amazement because none of us were expecting it. That very instant, I turned around and looked at the other runners to see their reactions and my eyes caught sight of my teammate. I saw his eyes instantly light up with hope; the kind of hope that says ‘I can still win this'.  It seemed as if their energy was renewed as both runners (he and the guy in Agboola house) began to run with all their might.

I saw the ‘Naragutarians’ as we call them trying their best to get their runner to stand and complete the race as he could almost practically crawl to the finish line,but the runner would not stand (I believe he was ashamed and it was the shame that was keeping him down, not pain as he wasn't physically hurt but emotionally) before he could boost himself to stand, Agboola had come in first with Whirley jumping over Naraguta to take the second spot.

Talk about a game-changer and there you have it. How the game was transformed in a twinkle of an eye I still can't explain, however, while reminiscing about the event and discussing it with my care group members (bible study fellowship members), I heard God ask me to ‘imagine what would have happened if the other runners, especially the runner for Whirley had given up midway and said there is no use putting any effort in the race being that he was still so far off and it seemed as if the trophy was being swept away by the Naragutarian?  He would have lost out on the opportunity to come in second place simply because he gave up too soon, not knowing that a window of opportunity was about to open up to change his current status in the race. While some people may call it luck, one of my Pastor’s (Akila Yusuf) taught me to know that luck, is only preparation that meets opportunity just like what I had witnessed. I honestly do not know how sportsmen do it (especially runners); that they try to always finish the race they started even if they are losing. Perhaps it is because they believe the proverb that says ‘it ain't over until the fat lady sings'. Whatever the case may be, I truly respect their discipline and believe God wants us to exhibit such perseverance at every point in life as this life of ours is but a race.

I think that is why we hear the Apostle Paul say ‘do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win ‘(1^st Cor 9:24) and Solomon state that’ the fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time (Eccl 9:11). Solomon truly nailed it in that statement as was illustrated in my story above.

 Another thing I learned that day was not to celebrate a win before I cross the finish line, nor get distracted while running my race or exhibit overconfidence; because anything can happen. Little wonder, the author of Hebrews encourages us to ‘strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us (Heb 12:1 NLT)’.

The guy tripped because he had gotten carried away with his seeming win not knowing something would cause him to nose dive and end up coming last in the race. So also, in life, many things can easily distract us when we become overconfident and remove our gaze from God one of such things is overconfidence, spiritual arrogance, and so many other things. That is why Paul advises us that, ‘if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall (1st Corinthians 10:12)’.

So, what projects, dreams and visions have you almost given up on? I pray that you read this and receive a new determination not to give up, not to stop running the race no matter what you are seeing because the race is not finished. No matter what life is sending your way always remember that only two people have a true say in our lives, you and God. If we give up and decide to stop running, then we have decided our fate ourselves, but if we keep going, know that God will judge in your favor. Being that you are still alive, it means God is not done with you yet so REFUSE to QUIT!!! Because there is nothing worse than having someone believe in you and you not believing in yourself. God believes in you and so do I!!

I hope that no matter where you are in life, you will refuse to get distracted and enjoy the near win syndrome. Until you cross that finish line, you have not won. Even when or if you fall, REFUSE to stay down for long simply get up and finish your race because, in life, we will surely make mistakes that will set us off track a bit but what differentiates a winner from a loser is their ability to get up and continue. Stay in the race until the end so like Paul you can boldly say ‘I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful' (2nd Timothy 4:7).

MY HIGH SCHOOL MISTAKE

A few weeks ago, I engaged in a ‘redefining parenting challenge on Instagram'. This program was being issued by someone called ‘@schoolstoreng' in collaboration with @chiomahmomah. They wanted parents to tell them within a minute, one thing that they had gone through as a child that they are trying hard to protect their child from. Anyway, most of the things I wanted to speak about such as timidity seemed to have been discussed by so many parents and so I decided to talk on the issue of ‘communicating love to kids verbatim and not only through actions'. That being said, there was yet another issue that had weighed on my heart heavily but there was no way I would be able to speak about it in a minute so I decided to share it with you and hopefully, read as well as receive comments from you guys in this area.

So, what is this issue I took a whole paragraph to explain before discussing? It is that of unhealthy comparisons. I remember with much clarity and vividness a certain day in high school (I attended Baptist High School in Jos by the way) when I went to check on my school daughter, her name is Zippy D. I went to see how she had been doing with her classwork and after looking through her test papers, I noticed that she had scored a bit lower than some of the girls I knew in her class and so like any good parent, I decided to ask her what had happened. Why did she score a bit lower than the others in those subjects and her reply is one thing I can never forget. She said "Snr. Serah, I am not…… (She called the names of the girls I had compared her with). I am Zipporah and I do not like being compared to other people. Goodness gracious, that statement had hit me hard. It had struck a chord with me and had taught me a valuable lesson I would never forget (I definitely would not have won the school mother of the year award that day).

I immediately apologized to her and gave her my word that I would never do that again. I meant well but the fact that I was comparing her with other people and their abilities just was not right (I was much younger then so please, don't judge Sese ok). If I had just stopped at asking why she didn't score high and see what the problem was as well as seek ways to fix it like suggesting asking one of the other ladies who had scored higher to help her in comprehending the subjects better or even listening to know if it was just a ‘bad test day' and understand that the score was not due to lack of understanding, perhaps I would not have hurt her feelings that day.

Her statement reminded me of how much I truly hated being compared to others and showed me how easy it is to criticize people for doing things to us that we don't like but easily tend to forget and repeat or do to others in the same manner. In that brief moment, I had forgotten how much I disliked it when my Paternal Aunts and Uncles always seemed to compare me with my ‘seemingly perfect older sister' in our early years.

I am the second born out of 5 and the second girl. I have an amazing older sister (we call her Smallie) whom I love so much and have learned a great number of things from including my knowledge of the bible and good morals. I respect and cherish her so much because of the value she has added in my life and the role she played as a part-time mommy. However, I hated it every time a relative told me ‘can't you be like your sister Smallie'? Or ‘what are you wearing like that? Can't you see your sister'..? Thank God I made good grades in school else you can imagine what the question would have been. I resented it and didn't fancy being around them much because of that.

In the beginning, I tried to behave like her or dress like her because I reckoned it may help gain me a few points in their good books and hopefully reduce the number of complaints and criticisms I receive. I tried so hard but it didn't work much because that was not just who I was. I was Serah, not Smallie. The words and critiques of my aunts and uncles over the years had almost succeeded in creating an unhealthy barrier of comparison in my mind which had somehow caused me to think that it was a positive way of enforcing change and helping someone do better, like the way I tried to do with Zipporah.

It took me years upon years (I am still work in progress) to stop trying to be my older sister and accept myself for who I was and love myself that way as well as appreciate my sister for who she was. I have my strong points as well as the not so strong just like everybody else. I had to learn to accept that and appreciate it. I had to learn to celebrate our differences and not let it serve as a barrier or create a rift of any kind.

 I had shared this story with my husband after reading the ‘redefining parenting challenge' and we agreed that we would take the challenge a notch higher by taking time to write a list of things that hurt us growing up and create a strategic action plan to ensure that we do not do the same things or let others do them to our kids. So with this particular case, I suggested that we do not allow relatives or friends to compare our kids in an unhealthy manner especially when we are there and if we are not, we will teach their minders to also not allow it because of the negative way it can impact on them.

If you are like my husband, I am sure you would be asking so what happens when you are not around to enforce the aforementioned? because truth be told, my relatives never did that or said such in front of our parents and I can never remember any of my parents comparing me with any of my siblings, not even my older sister and if they did, then I have forgotten but I do remember that of my relatives so much because it hurt.

To address that issue my husband raised, we decided to work extensively on building our children's self-esteem to the highest levels and allow them to celebrate one another's strengths and differences. Rather than allow it to serve as a negative, we shall celebrate it as positives. There is no better way to start this process in my opinion than by constantly affirming our love to them and telling them how much they mean to us and how proud we are of them individually because I believe this goes a long way in the lives of children (read ‘the challenged identity on the blog').

So for those intending on visiting our home, this is a head start; when you come to our house, please join us in celebrating the difference in our kids and don't make comments like ‘this one is cuter than that or this one seems faster than the other'. We may take on you politely because we are out to protect the tender years being that it is our duty as their parents to do that while they are growing and discovering themselves.

Everyone is special and unique in their sphere and I strongly believe that God did not create two of your kind. That is why the Psalmist says "I will give thanks and praise to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being formed in secret, And intricately and skillfully formed (as if embroidered with many colors) in the depth of the earth, your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in Your book were all written The days that were appointed for me (even taking shape). How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! (Psalm 139:14-17 AMP).

We are all different; our strengths and weaknesses as well Paul clearly states in 1st Corinthians 12:25-28 "this makes for harmony among the members so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a part of it …….) but everything we have has been given to us to serve a unifying purpose which is to glorify God and not be a source or cause for unhealthy comparison and quarrels.

In all honesty, I have never seen or read a place in the Bible where God ever compared any of his children nor leaders. If he is going to correct or discipline, he doesn't say "Joshua, why can't you just be as meek as my servant Moses was ‘? Or ‘David, why did you fornicate? Did you see Saul do such'? Better yet, ‘Solomon, why can't you be as loyal as your father David'? Truly, I stand to be corrected but God does not compare his children with each other in a negative or positive bid to correct them.

However, one thing I do remember in the bible is when Paul in 2nd Corinthians 10: 12b encourages us not to compare ourselves with anyone. Paul says ‘but they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves amongst themselves, are not wise'. So, let us start this week by exhibiting some godly wisdom via celebrating differences and ourselves.

Let us say it together ‘No more unhealthy comparisons' (not even those intended in love) because all they truly end up doing is lead to discontentment, resentment, anger, bitterness, and envy if not controlled or attacked early. Trust me; those are not qualities we want to build in any child or person.

Food for Thought:

 Growing up, were there ways you were compared with others? How did it make you feel? Did it help you or make the situation worse? I hope this message was able to drive the point about unhealthy comparisons. Please share your stories with us, and if you are a Parent or taking that role in the life of someone, what recommendations can you make to help us work against unhealthy comparison in our homes.

Looking forward to reading your comments after this!

UNEXPLAINABLE

                    UNEXPLAINABLE

I never thought there would be a day so early in life that my child would ask me a question I won't be able to answer. I always assumed it would happen sometime later perhaps in her teens. Like seriously, what difficult question can a toddler have that one would not just answer with ease? Well, that day had come sooner than later.

Nailah and I were in my room having our special time when she sat on my laps, looked me straight in the eyes and asked me, ‘mommy, do you love me'? I looked at her with the same gaze and intensity and said yes I do love you.

I thought that was the end of it but no, that answer was not enough for her.  Then came the next question and this one seemed to be the most difficult she had ever asked. It was one of the most mind burgling questions of all time ‘Why do you love me she asked? It seemed like an easy question at first as I began to list out all the different reasons I could think of at that moment. She had just put me on the spot and I had never thought I would have to explain why I love her but there we were, doing just that.

I love you because you are intelligent, kind, loving, beautiful and so much more. Those were the answers coming out of my mouth up until 

I heard my spirit ask me ‘what if she didn't have those qualities would you not love her’? My eyes popped open and I quickly tried to rearrange my answer. I love you because you are mine. I gave birth to you and I will always love you regardless of all the other factors. You are mine Nailah and you mean the world to me. I am grateful God gave you to me and I will always love you.

I wasn't sure her little mind could totally comprehend what I had to say or if she got it but I realized that some things are not so easy to explain with words. How do I explain all the emotions I feel over this child that has been given to me as a gift. The joy I feel when I hear her call my name in the morning or over the phone when we speak? The pride and delight I feel when I watch her perform at school or when I just sit and talk with her or watch her album or carry her? I wish I could put those emotions in words but I can't.

My Love for Nailah is regardless of anything she does or doesn't do. I was not sure my toddler could understand what I meant but she had taught me something.

Her question had helped me get a little glimpse of the Father's love for mankind. He loves us because we are His. He chose us, he made us, we are his children and nothing will ever change that feeling of love toward us.

1st John 3:1b (NLT) says ‘See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are'!

Don't ever doubt God’s love for you!! He loves us more than the words in the bible or any language or literature can ever capture. When we go wrong, it hurts him but that does not stop the love he has for us not even when he disciplines us. For it is written, ‘nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below –indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39NIV).

Take time today and just keep telling yourself and silencing the Devil with this statement.

'Jesus Loves Me, This I know'.

Don't let it stop at head knowledge and being a mere song but let this become heart knowledge as well.

As for Nailah, she smiled, jumped down from the bed and went about her business happily.

So, what has happened in your life this week that has made you stop and appreciate God’s love? If you aren’t yet a Parent, let me give you a heads start, if you were in my position, how would you explain your love to your kid?

LIMITED

                                                       LIMITED 

Has your child ever done anything that made you feel like your spirit was about to leave your body?

Well, that was my story with Nailah December 2017- January 2018. Three times in less than two weeks this girl had done stunts that scared the life out of me.

What can a two and a half-year-old do to get me so frightened you may you wonder? Hhmm, read on and see for yourself.

We had gone to Jos to spend Christmas with my parents and as usual, Nailah was as energetic and as active as ever. She is like a little energizer bunny and keeps going and going without breaking down. Anyway, here in chronological order are the things my daughter did that scared me out of my wits.

My Husband’s cousin was getting married and while at the reception, she wanted to go to the restroom. Nailah and I went to the bathroom and on our way back, she just bailed on me. She loves to play hide and see and there I was in a crowd of people searching for her. I was scared stiff. I asked my Husband if she had come to him, but no, she wasn’t there. I was heavily pregnant and wearing heels, don’t ask me why I was wearing heels (hey, I guess looking good in pregnancy is good business) and at a point I didn’t even realize when I removed my shoes and started scanning the wedding venue frantically looking for her. The thoughts running through my mind were ‘God, please don’t let them steal my child, she is small and they can easily make away with her at this Christmas period’. Other crazy thoughts kept coming while I was battling them in prayer asking for the help of God’s angels which are assigned to help us. Out of nowhere, she pops out like a daisy smiling. Man, I was relieved, but angry and almost smacked her. I held her firmly and asked her never to do that again, she could see fear all over my face and she hugged me and said “ok Mummy”.

The second scariest experience came about two days after the first. My Mum, Husband, Nailah and I had gone to the park and were on our way home when we decided to stop to get some money from an ATM located close to a very busy street. When we were done with the ATM my Husband opened the door and Nailah just ran out headed for the street. My Husband barely got a hold of her and yanked her back when some cars came a few minutes later. I was shaking by then as I could still recollect the incident at the wedding.

The last one happened on our way back to Abuja. The driver wanted to stop and partake in the Jummat prayers. We decided to stop to eat and stretch while we waited for him. Nailah and her Aunties (my Nieces) were at the back of the car and as one of them came out Nailah followed her. I don’t know what my Niece was doing that she wasn’t holding her hand, but just as I stepped out of the car and was looking for her I saw her at the edge of the road blabbing excitedly about a used tire she saw hanging and calling it a hula hoop. She was just about to cross when I grabbed her hand and pulled her back. I was just lucky the road was a very bad one with so many ditches that drivers had to slow down to maneuver. The look the oncoming cab driver gave me was one of disgust like ‘irresponsible parent’.

That was the last straw for me. I had been praying throughout the previous ordeals but this one just scared me silly because I kept thinking of all the ‘what if’s’ like, ‘what if the road was not so bad speed bumps? What if the car had hit her? What if I had gotten out late? Those are super scary thoughts for any parent, especially a Mom.

I would literally give my life to protect my babies and I always try so hard to protect them and keep them safe, but the events of that week and the one before was freaking me out so I ran back to God with so many questions and throwing all my fears and cares before him. “What is happening God and why are you letting all these things happen? Have I done something wrong or what are you trying to tell me?” I was confused and needed answers.

When I entered that prayer session mode before God that day, I was a frightened and confused Mother in need of help, answers, and solutions. During my session with God that day, He told me one thing. “Nobody is out to hurt your child Serah and you have done nothing wrong. I just want to teach you and show you that no matter how much you love this child and any other child, your ability to protect them and keep them from harm’s way is limited.” He told me “Serah It is beyond you. Many times you say you know it, but you do not act it. I see the way you go about doing things and it is ok to do your best, but I need you to truly acknowledge the fact that I and I alone am unlimited in my ability to keep and protect the things you value and cherish the most.”

I was so humbled when I left his presence that day. Since then, I have always told God ‘Father, I accept my inability to protect my children and so I place them before you, the limitless God to keep them from all harm. Your word says that whatever I place in your hands, nothing can take out of and so I place them in your care and ask for the ministration of your angels to encamp themselves around them as the mountains surround Jerusalem. I ask that they catch them, lest they hit their feet upon stones as you have said they would in Psalm 91’.

Since then, I have learned to relax a bit more and truly trust God with the affairs of my kids even though some days I still get it wrong but I am a work in progress. I am fully aware that despite my best efforts it is the Lord that truly protects and that is very comforting. Have you ever been faced with scary circumstances regarding your children? How did you deal with them? Have a lovely week.

THE TESTIMONY

6^th Of May, 2018 started like any other day in my pregnant life, but let me take you through it:

 It was a Sunday morning and I was struggling to wake up and go for first service. I had an awesome time at church; however, on getting home, I started feeling cramps so I took panadol and slept off. I was supposed to meet up with my sister and a few friends for a photo shoot. Woke up some hours later still feeling a bit unwell but hey, I had a photo shoot session and I was not about to have it looking crappy. A bit of powder and professionally done eyebrows later, I was off for the photo-shoot. Little did I know my sister, cousins and friends were planning a surprise baby shower for me.

After all the fun, the pain didn’t seize. I didn’t even realize I was in labor until my sister insisted we go to the hospital. So there I was at the hospital with my party crew by my side. The Doctor came in and carried out his examination, then wheeled me upstairs for another round. There I was lying down with so many machines belted to me not knowing anything was happening, until the main gynecologist came in and broke the news to me. My daughter’s heartbeat was way over 200 and he was suspecting it had to do with her umbilical cord. He quickly notified me that the delivery would no longer be vaginal but through Caesarean Section (CS). Wow!! That was not the plan I had in mind when I got there, but that seemed to be God’s plan for this baby. While still trying to process the news I had just received, God quickly put a thought in my heart before the fear of the unknown would catch up with me as I had always heard bad stories about such.

AJIKE’S STORY:  I recalled a day at the office when my friend (Ajike) shared her birth story with me. She had given birth in Canada and the baby just fell straight to the floor in the house with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. With neither a Doctor nor nurse in sight, she just un-wrapped it and rushed to the nearest hospital. At the time we were discussing this, he was barely a year plus and he was one of my favorites. When she told me this, I was in awe and I marveled at what had happened.Little did I know that God had allowed me hear that for a reason.

BACK TO ME: When that thought crossed my mind, I knew my baby and I were going to be ok. For the first time ever, I truly understood what the bible meant in Revelations 12:11 when it says ‘We overcome the Devil by the blood of the lamb and with the help of our testimony’. Because I knew the end of her story, I seemed to have more confidence that mine would be as good and even better.

That day, I learnt the power in sharing a testimony and the true meaning of that scripture. Testimonies are never meant for us to keep to ourselves, but to share with others so we can help build their confidence on days when they need it most. You do humanity a disfavor when you hold on to your testimonies and what God has brought you out from. If my friend Ajike hadn’t shared her story with me, I could have been scared, paranoid and so much more.

There is a Hausa adage that says ‘barawo ne mai raina kyauta’ meaning that it is only a thief who looks down on a gift. In other words, there is never a testimony that is too small to say; only hearts that are filled with ingratitude will look down on what God has done for them and keep it to themselves.

This year, be determined to be like the psalmist) who says ‘in the assembly of your people, Lord, I told the good news that you save us. You know that I will never stop telling it’ (Psalm 40:9 GNTD).

THE GRATITUDE ATTITUDE:

A LESSON FROM ANAIAH

Last year, I was asked to write a little about gratitude and for the love of me, I didn’t know what to say or where to start from. I guess this is because somewhere deep within, consciously or unconsciously I had always felt I have a right before God.

I felt I deserved most of God’s blessings upon my life; either by following the rules and paths he had set for me, my adherence to his words, paying my tithes, offering and basically trying my best to obey him. I felt that a summation of all the aforementioned had justified me to have the right to enjoy the blessings. All this changed in May 2018, when my life took an absolutely different turn which would help me truly learn the gratitude attitude over the rights attitude.

Growing up, I remember getting upset with God if things did not quite go as I had planned or prayed. I would often tell God “you promised…, You said…,while other times I would say things like you said if I did…., you would do…., but you didn’t”. I would get really upset with him over things. Safe to say, God knows me and knows I love as well as believe him so much; perhaps that is why he was so patient with me but I guess it’s mainly because he is such a loving Father.

Anyways, in May 2018;

I was pregnant and had been trusting God for a set of twins (a boy and girl). My Doctor and I had been going back and forth over the number (story for another day) because I just kept telling him I want two babies.  The day of delivery finally arrived (6^th of May, 2018) but it came with a little twist (another story for another day). I delivered a very beautiful baby girl through C section. I was alive and so was she.

Two days later, my daughter (her name is Anaiah by the way) fell ill (malaria and sepsis) and was rushed to the ICU of a pediatric hospital. I cried my eyes out the first time we got there. It was just so disheartening to see her with tubes and an oxygen mask (she just seemed too little for it all).

The next day, we were at the hospital with my husband and I was opportune to meet the mothers of the other babies who would be my daughter’s roommates for the next 6 days. Those women were strong, true believers and beautiful women. They showcase the true meaning of the word ‘Mother’.

Anaiah was the only girl in the midst of 3 boys and seemed to be the healthiest out of them all, as two of the boys were between 21-26 weeks old and had been placed in the incubator, while the other boy had a severe case of jaundice.

During our stay at the ward, another lady came with her 8 year old who was very ill. Despite all our prayers, the little girl died in our presence.  In my entire life, I had never seen such and it shocked me.  My daughter and the little boy with jaundice were discharged on that same day. 

My joy was short lived as word reached me two days later that the strongest of the boys in the incubator had passed away. While all this was happening, I received more bad news as a friend of mine who had been attending antenatal with me had lost her baby. She had given birth through CS as well and in the same hospital I had. She had given birth to a baby girl who was sick and rushed to the same hospital Anaiah had been and placed in the ICU as well. A day after this loss, the other little boy in the incubator died also.

While I pondered over the entire events that I had been through and the information I had received in barely two weeks, the reality of the scripture ‘who am I that you are mindful of me’? Made more meaning to me.

I kept wondering what I have done to deserve the love and unmerited favor of God that He spared my child. It was at that very moment that I truly learnt what gratitude attitude really is.

I wake up every day and I am simply in gratitude. I am grateful to be alive, grateful to have my children and loved ones alive. I don’t feel I have any rights before God anymore. Whatever I ask for, if he gives me, I am grateful, but if he doesn’t, I no longer get upset, angry or agitated. I am simply grateful to be alive and that all is well with my family.

It is true that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him, but it is never in the position of the worker or servant to dictate to his boss what type of reward he is deserving of nor when he should give it to him.

I pray you don’t have to learn the hard way, the way I did before you change adopt a gratitude attitude over a rights attitude.

DETANGLING PROCESS

My cousin and I were working late at night trying to rescue one of my weaves which had become super tangled. Prior to now, I had given my stylist to help me wash and handle. One look at it, he declared that the weave was useless and only fit for the bin because to him, it seemed irredeemable.

I quietly picked my weave and gave my best friend who believed she may be able to assist. A bottle of conditioner later, some shampoo and a trip to the microwave still seemed fruitless. My acquaintance had handed it her best shot, merely like the hairdresser, she stated it could not be salvaged.

So there I was, with a now semi dry and super tangled weave. I thought it best to simply throw the wave away and cut my loss, but goodness that weave was super expensive and I just could not bear to let it go so I decided to give it one last try.

Fortunately for me, my cousin had come to visit and was willing to help me work on it. Gently and patiently we kept trying to detangle and comb out each line. Sometimes, I got frustrated at some and would just want to dump it, but my cousin would pick them up and work her way through it patiently till it was loose enough for me to comb.

About three hours later, we were finally done!!! I had lost a little hair from the detangling process, but  had salvaged more than I had lost and much more than I would have, assuming I had taken the advice from my stylist to throw it away from the get go.

While working on the weave with my cousin, God laid this in my heart:

Lesson: sometimes, life can get complicated. We can make wrong decisions or bad choices, e.g. wrong choice of spouse, have a one night stand that gets you pregnant, join bad friends, start a habit that leads to a nasty addiction, live in outright disobedience to God and his commands, etc. and we end up in a tangled web of mistakes as well as regret, confusion, frustration, anger and bitterness to mention a few.

At times, our situation gets so bad that people are willing to give up on us, some may try a little (like my best friend) but when it gets too complicated, they also may throw in the towel.

The only person in this life who will not give up is the owner. This may simply be because of the value he/she places on the object as well as how much it cost him.  I knew what that weave meant to me and how much it cost me to get it so I was willing to fight and work to see it restored. Any idea to salvage it, I was ready to try. In like manner, that is how God works with and in us, if we allow him to help us when we mess up or just have a record of bad choices. Sometimes we get ourselves in the mess while other times we just find ourselves all tangled up. God takes his time to detangle us the way I and my cousin took time to detangle the weave.

You/ we are worth way more to God than any weave. The blood of his only son is what he used to purchase us and so he is never one to give up on us. That is why Romans 8:28 says ‘for we know that all things (good, bad, right choices, wrong ones) work together for the good of those who trust God and are called by his name’.

Family, friends and well-meaning people can give it their best, but once it is beyond them, they can give up on us. The only one who is always ready and willing to talk it through to the end is God.

Prayer: Dear Lord, help me always find my way back to you when I stray. May I never forget your undying love for me.