Kin and Kingdoms

 As Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) resumed for the year, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia from my high school days when I was first introduced to the challenging topic of the kings in the Bible. I recalled when Reverend Atherton, our Bible Teacher, would take so much time trying to teach us about the different kings and their timelines. The multitude of similar-sounding names and complex timelines made it a daunting subject; knowing I would be tested on the subject matter made it even less appealing. Add this to the boring, tedious life of a Baptist High School student, and you would totally get my plight.

So there I was, about 20-something years later, faced with this “boring book.” As we delved into the study of the books of Kings and the Minor Prophets, I wondered how I would make it to the end. While I could manage the Kings, the thought of the Minor Prophets initially left me a bit flustered, even though I had breezed through many of them years ago. It was, however, not something I was particularly looking forward to. Nevertheless, I embarked on this journey with an open mind, eager to discover what new insights God might reveal to me.

Anyway, we began the study, and I was just wondering what new thing God would teach me or use to catch my fancy. I couldn't have anticipated that this seemingly “dry” topic would hold valuable life lessons, some of which I'd like to share with you today.

One of the first revelations that caught my attention was the interrelation between the books of Kings and Chronicles. It struck me that one provided a more detailed account of the other, shedding light on the complexity of these narratives.

But the real surprise came when I realized that the Book of Kings offered lessons on marriage, choosing the right life partner, and parenting. In case you are in doubt, just keep reading and see for yourself.

2nd Kings 8:18 states, “But Jehoram followed the example of the kings of Israel and was as wicked as King Ahab, for he had married one of Ahab’s daughters. So Jehoram did what was evil in the Lord’s sight.” And 2nd Kings 8:26-27: “Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem one year. His mother was Athaliah, a granddaughter of King Omri of Israel. Ahaziah followed the evil example of King Ahab’s family. He did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, just as Ahab’s family had done, for he was related by marriage to the family of Ahab.”

If by reading these two pieces of scripture you haven’t caught on, then hopefully my highlights did a good job of getting your attention. Jehoram and Ahaziah were said to have followed the examples of the kings of Israel and had done evil in the sight of God, and the main reason given was the fact that they were related by marriage to Ahab’s family or had married one of Ahab’s daughters.

This opened my eyes to the profound impact that entering the wrong family through marriage can have on one's life. Hence, it prompted me to consider how critical it is to be cautious when choosing a life partner, to study their family background, and to be aware of what you're getting into. In fact, family background is one of the first things we discuss in Premarital counseling because a lot of who we are and what we do or will do is influenced by the home and environment we grew up in.

When I saw this while working on my study outline, I was amazed. I had never given much thought to how entering into the “wrong” family through marriage can make or break a human, but there it was, staring right in front of me as it is to you.

While reading that chapter, I heard God say, you need to be careful what you bind yourself to. Study the families and be clear about what you are getting yourself into.

As I continued reading, I stumbled upon another profound lesson in 2nd Kings 11 and 2nd Chronicles 22. Remember I told you that the books of Chronicles and Kings are the same, just that one is the more detailed version of the other; well, now you’ll see it for yourself.

2nd Kings 11:1-3 states, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of the royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom, and they hid him from Athaliah, so the child was not murdered…”

While 2nd Chronicles 22:10 explains it as, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of Judah’s royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom. In this way, Jehosheba, wife of Jehoiada the priest and sister of Ahaziah, hid the child so that Athaliah could not murder him.”

The story of Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah, attempting to destroy the royal family and the courageous act of Jehosheba (Athaliah’s daughter), who protected her nephew Joash, exposed the importance of family dynamics.

It's worth noting that Athaliah was the daughter of the notorious King Ahab and Jezebel. Her actions demonstrated the destructive power of family influences. However, within this evil family lineage, Jehosheba, married to the priest Jehoiada, emerged as a beacon of hope. With her husband's support, they concealed and protected Joash for six years. Jehoiada essentially became a father figure to the young Joash.

2nd Chron 24:2 states that “Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight throughout the lifetime of Jehoiada the priest.” However, vs 17-18: after Jehoiada’s death, the leaders of Judah came and bowed before King Joash and persuaded him to listen to their advice. They decided to abandon the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, and they worshiped Asherah poles and idols instead! Because of this sin, divine anger fell on Judah and Jerusalem.

The end of King Joash’s reign was a sad one. His name was not even mentioned in Jesus' genealogy in both the books of Matthew and Luke, alongside 2 other kings.

Through this, I learned a parenting tip: that as a parent, it is not enough to guide my kids and teach them the word of God. I need to pray constantly that they have their own personal encounter with God, a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit, and are surrounded by the right people so if ever I am not there to guide them, the Holy Spirit, who is our ever-present help, best adviser, and guide, would lead and direct them aright. The goal is to ensure that they can stand firm in their faith even in our absence. While Jehoiada was there, Joash never defaulted, but because his roots were not grounded, it was easy for people to shift and sway him wrongly after the death of his uncle and mentor.

While you are alive, strive to inconvenience yourself if need be and do whatever you must to help sow the right seeds in your children because neither of us knows how long we are here for, and if for any reason you are not, ask yourself whether your children can stand these evil days and the pressures that are before them or would they cave?

As for the singles, I do hope God leads you in making the right choices and entering the right families, and if your family is like that of King Ahab, don’t be dismayed, for you may just be the Princess Jehosheba there to do the right thing. And when you are making a choice in a mate, remember that your choices extend beyond you and can affect generations around you.

See the impact Jehoiada the priest made in the life of Joash, his wife’s nephew. Though not his biological father, he played the role of a father perfectly in the life of the boy. Ask yourself, if something were to ever happen to you, would this person you are with, be able to go the extra mile to love and care for your family members or the things you care about? Without Jehoiada’s support, his wife would never have been able to hide and preserve the life of her nephew.

It's essential to consider whether your partner would go the extra mile to care for your family in your absence. This extends to the choices we make as parents and the role models we choose for our children. I personally sought a mate who could be trusted to love and support my family as I would.

One of the things I looked at when picking a mate was whether or not this candidate would love my family members the way I did and if anything were to ever happen to me, can I depend on him to still love, reach out to them, and be there for them the way I would have? Could my siblings trust my potential spouse and me to raise their kids well if they were not around for any reason?

If ever I have to leave my children in the care of any of my married siblings, I would have no fear because so far, they have been able to marry men whom I am more than confident can be good role models for my children and will raise them right. Hopefully, they would share the same sentiments with me.

I hope these revised reflections on the Book of Kings will provide some clarity and a more seamless reading experience for you.

Allow me to take this opportunity to share a project that God has placed on my heart. In addition to the lessons inspired by my personal struggles and my family, I am in the process of launching a new endeavor called "From My Devotions." Through this platform, I will be sharing insights and lessons drawn from my personal scripture readings. I hope to run this project alongside "Lessons from Nailah." Your prayers, reminders (in case I want to chicken out), and support are greatly appreciated, so please keep an eye out for both of these initiatives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind The Mask

"Even as a Christian, if you enter the wrong relationship, you will bear the consequence! Remember Joshua and the sun standing still." That warning from God jolted me awake.

I woke up a bit confused. Why was God threatening and warning me in my sleep? What had I done wrong? And what on earth did Joshua and the sun standing still have to do with relationships? The thoughts swirled in my mind, and I desperately sought answers.

After saying my morning prayers, I rushed to my Bible to find out who made the sun stand still. It had been a while since I read that part of my one-year Bible plan, and I needed some clarity. After some searching, I finally found the story in Joshua 10. But here's the catch: I didn't see the connection between this story and the warning I received.

Just when I was feeling lost, the Holy Spirit nudged me to read the chapter before it (chapter 9) and continue to the end. Suddenly, it all started to make sense!

The Israelites had made a grave mistake. They had gone to sign a treaty with a group of people (the Gibeonites) whom they ought not to enter into a contract with. Part of the treaty required the Israelites to help fight and stand by the Gibeonites if there was ever a need to. Not too long after the signing of the treaty, four kings attacked the Gibeonites, prompting them to run to their new allies, the Israelites, seeking their help in the battle, and that's exactly what the Israelites did. The fight was fierce, and the battle was still not over. It was for this reason that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still so they could finish the fight. The Bible says that for the first time ever, a human commanded an element of nature without consulting God, and it obeyed instantly.

Despite this, the fight was still not over, and that was when God himself intervened by sending hail stones to kill the enemy (trust God to come with some effizey because you would wonder how the hailstones only targeted the enemy! Only God can do such things), and the records show that hailstones killed more people than Joshua and his crew did.

So, what has this story got to do with my warning, you ask? The answer is everything. The answer lies in answering this question: Why did the Israelites enter into a contract with People God had asked them not to? They were deceived. The Gibeonites had understudied the Israelites and apparently knew their mandate and knew that the Israelites were not to have anything to do with their kind, so they decided to deceive them and present themselves as someone else. They did well in fooling the Israelites because they physically appeared to be what they claimed. They staged it well, from their clothes to their food and their speech. The Israelites believed them because they fit the part, and the worst part was when they went to meet Joshua, their spiritual leader, and for some reason, Joshua failed to consult God on the matter. Perhaps he felt it was too small a matter to bother God with, or the people looked believable, or he was relying on his own knowledge. I don’t know why Joshua did what he did, but he gave the go-ahead for the signing of the treaty, and three days later, they decided to run a security check on the People.

This security check ought to have been run before signing the contract but they failed to. Behold, they found out that the great and mighty Israelites had been deceived by a small group of people who lived in a neighboring village. Talk about high-level deceit; there it is. Like any normal group of people, the Israelites were enraged at this, but they knew better than to break a contract that they had signed, and so a chapter later, they were faced with a battle that may or may not have been destined for them to fight in the first place if only they had not entered into the wrong agreement, contract, or relationship.

I had not even finished digesting that part of the scripture and revelation when I had a flash of my Pastor, Akila Yusuf (HOTR, Jos), reminding us during mid-week, "When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the temple messenger (priest), "My vow was a mistake (sorry, I didn’t mean it)." That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved (Eccl 5:4-6, NIV, and NLT). Chai, God meant business with this warning, and it was in my best interest to adhere.

The Lessons:

It finally all made sense—what God was trying to tell me. He was warning me not to allow what I see Physically and my supposed knowledge of him to make me enter into a contract, covenant, or take a vow with someone without consulting him and doing due diligence, only to later claim to have been deceived into marrying them. He was saying I needed to avoid a situation where I would later lament; “Oh I didn’t know he was ... (A lair, flirt, cheat, womanizer, drunkard, chauvinist, homosexual, pedophile, insane, gold digger, promiscuous, disrespectful, etc.); otherwise, I would not have married him or her and be considering a divorce and what-nots.

The Israelites entered the treaty based on the false appearance that was presented to them and because they did not consult God. The Bible says we should trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge him, and he will direct our path. With emphasis on the sentence fragment "In all our ways, acknowledge him," which means tell him about every single thing you want to do. Nothing is too big or small to discuss with him, and he will guide you.

 

Never rush into taking major decisions based on what you see. If the Israelites had taken time to research about the people, they would have found out they were their close neighbors and would not have signed that treaty, but they signed it before carrying out their research, which was putting the cart before the donkey. He told me that “for some of you, it’s after three months or three years or less that you begin to see the real person you married and realize everything they presented was a façade to get you to marry them after they have fully understudied you.”

One of the prayers I learned to pray over time is ‘Father, I do not know or see the heart of any man. Only you have the capacity to do so, so please help me so I do not use my human senses to make a major decision! That I also learned from the story of Samuel and David, as he almost anointed the wrong son of Jesse as king simply because he was walking in his own wisdom until God gave him a stern warning and spoke to him. Bless God, he had the ability to hear him; otherwise he would have crowned the wrong person King, just as some of you are about to crown the wrong person King or Queen of your heart based on human wisdom, knowledge, and following your five senses. And if you are sleeping with that person (premarital sex or fornication) and cohabiting, then it even complicates things more because it would take a miracle for you to hear and see clearly.

Another thing God reminded me of was the fact that marriage is not a contract, but an even bigger thing. It’s a covenant done before him, and so I should ensure I know what I am doing before I make a vow or sign a treaty, e.g., your marriage certificate, so I do not come before him or his priests or pastors saying I didn’t know what I was getting into when I agreed to marry ‘so and so.’

Finally, I learned that there are blessings for staying in the fight and trying to right our wrongs. For example, the Israelites realized their mistake, but knew how important vows were to God and so rather than back out when they realized what the Gibeonites had done, they stayed and fought. In doing so, God, seeing their resilience and determination to keep their vow and honor his words, decided to come and bail them out. He took the fight from their hands and gave them victory. 

Now, if you are single and reading this, you have no business reaching this last point because you can walk away now from that relationship, especially if God did not tell you it was your battle to fight. But if you are married and struggling, pray to God before you get that divorce. Seek his opinion and hear what he has to say. In some situations, we need to separate, especially when abuse of any kind is being meted out, but not every separation must lead to divorce. Some can be worked on, and not everything needs us to throw in the towel and call it quits. Sometimes, all you need to do is submit it to God and let him work it out while you both get good counsel that can help.

If you are looking for a place that can help with godly counsel, permit me to recommend the Marriage Enhancement Classes (MEC) that my church, Family Worship Center, holds for couples, and it is non-denominational; even some non-Christians have come and gotten help. If you are single, please ensure you complete good premarital counseling before you say "I DO," because good premarital counseling, as my deacon will say, is for three reasons: “to correct faulty thinking, provide information, and give godly counsel that can help you make better choices and build your home."

Let's remember that relationships are precious, and we should handle them with care. By anchoring our decisions in God's wisdom, we can build strong, lasting connections that honor Him. Seek His will, and blessings will flow in abundance.

So there you have it: a lesson from Joshua and the sun standing still, reminding us all to be wise in our relationship choices. Take it to heart, and may your love journey be blessed!

 

 

 

My Journey of Faith: Discovering God's Perfect Plan for Love

I had been praying to God for a while about finding the right partner. I had attended almost every seminar within my reach and read as many books as I could find. I had conducted several undocumented interviews with people I held dear and valued their marriages. I didn’t even hesitate to ask those who did not have the fairy tale ending of their dreams because God told me there were things I could learn from them and not just focus on perfect marriages. All the advice, words of wisdom, and encouragement couldn't alleviate my fear of picking the wrong person, missing God’s perfect plan for me, and making myself and the other person miserable. It was a horrid situation and an unsettling feeling to have.

One day, while my parents and I were traveling back home from Abuja, the car had a tire issue. While waiting for the tire to be fixed, I stepped out of the car and decided to vent my frustration to God. It wasn't a long prayer as usual. It was short but extremely heartfelt. That day, I told God that I was tired of listening to what others had to say about marriage. I was tired of the fearful feeling in my heart, the fear of being left alone and becoming my own undoing. I was tired of reading books and going through the whole process of ensuring I was with the right person. I specifically requested that only God speak to me and address the issues and thoughts in my heart and mind.

After the tire was fixed, we continued our journey. I didn't think much about my prayer or request until I fell asleep that night.

That night, I had a dream. In the dream, I kept hearing God repeat one verse, Psalm 23:1, which says, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want!" The verse seemed to stay on repeat. After a while, I found myself asking God why He was talking to me about provision? I hadn't mentioned anything about lacking food, money, or anything else, so I couldn't understand why He was evading the topic that interested me the most. Then, God asked me the following question: "Serah, what is a sheep?" I replied, "It's a dumb (animal rights people, please forgive me) animal that doesn't seem to know much. In the north, if you do something silly or stupid, your stupidity would be likened to that of a sheep." He then asked me, "Who is a shepherd?" I said, "The one who takes care of sheep, cattle, and the like." He further asked, "Between the shepherd and the sheep, who knows the way?" I said, "The shepherd." And whose duty is it to take care of the sheep, feed them, and protect them?" I said, "The shepherd." He said, "Have you ever seen a sheep having a nervous breakdown because it wonders where it will get the next blade of grass?" I said, "No!" He then said, "Serah, I am the good Shepherd. I know what you need and what you want. I will ensure that you will not lack anything, including the 14 items on your list (this surprised me because I wrote this list in my second year of college and used scripture to support each point regarding the spouse I desired). I will make sure nothing is missing. Like I said, Serah, I am your Shepherd. You shall not want. And if you ever go astray or deviate from the right path, know this, I will find you because it is the duty of the shepherd to ensure his flock is in one place and intact. When the wrong people come your way, I will use my rod and staff to guide you back on the right path and ward off any predators that may come your way. So again, Serah, I am the good Shepherd. You shall not want."

I woke up the next morning feeling very happy, excited, and grateful that God had heard me. But trust human nature, within a few weeks, I didn't see my love story changing, so I went back to God again. This time, I approached Him with frustration and accusations because I had just read the story of "Abraham finding a wife for Isaac" during my devotion (Genesis 24).

I had known this story since I was a child, but that day, after reading it, I was quite upset while praying. I told God, "Can't You see how Abraham went the extra mile to ensure that his son doesn't make a mistake and marry the wrong woman (Genesis 24:1-7)? Look at the extent a human father went to for his son. Yet, you have left me here to do all the work by myself! I'm here exhausting myself to make sure I get it right for both of us, and I don't see Your helping hand in the situation like Abraham's."

As usual, God allowed me to vent and express my thoughts before responding. He told me that since I know how to point out the things people are doing right, He would ask me if I knew what Isaac was doing when Abraham and his servant were looking for the right wife for him. Given that we had thoroughly studied the book of Genesis during Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) that year, my body went weak because I knew where the conversation was headed, and the answer to that question. For those who are too lazy to read, let me help you: I told Him that the Bible says Isaac was meditating when they brought Rebecca to him (Genesis 24:63). He said, "Good, since you know, you should go and do likewise and stop bothering me about my role and what I am or am not doing." He proceeded to tell me that, like Abraham, He had sent the Holy Spirit and His angels ahead of me to ensure that they bring and align my path with the right person. So the next time I want to tell Him His job, I should make sure I am doing mine because He is already doing His (Genesis 24:7).

I would love to tell you that I kept my peace after that, but I'm sure we all know that would be a blatant lie. However, in my defense, I was a bit better after that conversation. The rest of my encounters, I will share in other blogs (if you missed the first one, you can find it at: https://shorturl.at/DGV01), so you have to keep reading to find out how it all ends.

In the end, I realized that God's message to me was clear. He is my Shepherd, and He knows what I need and want. I don't have to fear making the wrong choices or missing out on His perfect plan for me. Just like a shepherd takes care of his sheep, God will guide and protect me, ensuring that I lack nothing. I learned the importance of meditating and seeking God's voice, rather than relying solely on the opinions of others or my own efforts.

I can't say that I instantly stopped worrying or questioning God's timing, but that conversation with Him served as a reminder to trust His guidance and believe that He is already working behind the scenes to bring the right person into my life. So, as my journey continued, I kept seeking God's wisdom, meditating on His Word, and trusting that He would lead me to the partner He has prepared for me—and He did!

 Remember, the journey of finding a life partner is unique for each individual, and trusting in God's plan can bring peace and assurance along the way.

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Picky Me

Assuming I was paid for every time I was called "picky or selective," Dangote and I may be rubbing shoulders by now, but unfortunately for me, name-calling and tagging yielded nothing much except some unwanted feelings.

So, the above was very much my story for the greater part of my life, and each time I heard those words, I often felt sad within because I had gone through the list of things I had asked God concerning a partner, and I didn’t think anything seemed out of the norm or short of what God would want for his child.

I had really good and kind suitors, but for some reason, I didn’t seem to be in love with them, and that was a major issue for almost everyone around me, including myself. At first, it wasn’t such a big deal until my age started to increase, and then the drama began.

For me, dating was like picking a spouse. I didn’t believe in doing things simply because everyone else was doing them, especially when it came to relationships. I wanted to date someone I could consider marrying if it ever came to that point, so with my humble list, I would just decline most offers.

I remember a day I was bashed from every side concerning my "picky and selective nature" after not giving a favorable response to a particular suitor and even being told to be careful before I wake up and see there is "no one left for me and I would end up single and unmarried as some of my relatives."

That day, I was pretty sad and upset because no one appeared to understand and it seemed as if there was already a preconceived notion about me; i.e., I felt too pretty, I was looking for a perfect person who doesn’t exist, or I was looking for some rich, tall, and handsome person... And the list goes on and on.

Although some of these things mattered to me, I had listened to Pastor Paul Adefarasin’s messages on "the right man and the right woman’ enough to know that I should, in his words, "always major in the major and not major in the minor," so those were not my issues.

The more I tried to explain, the less people seemed to understand, so I gave up and decided to go to the one person who I knew understood me better than others. I went to the one place I always ran to when I was in trouble, avoiding a beating, feeling scared, sad, upset, or needing to talk (if you know me well, you will know where I ran to).

So there I was, sitting in isolation, just asking God if I was being unreasonable or asking for too much. I wanted to know if I was, as they said, "too picky and selective" and if that was a bad thing. I wanted him to help me or fix me if I was broken because I didn’t want to wake up and be left with nothing and no one. I didn’t want it to be my undoing.

I poured out my heart and frustrations to God, and he listened patiently and lovingly the way he always does, and when I had finished, I can never forget what he told me.

He said, "It's ok to be picky and selective, Serah. There is nothing wrong with it or with you, especially when what you are asking for is well within my desires for you and, most especially, if you know what you carry or will bear.

He asked me if I knew of anything super special about Mary that was recorded in the Bible, and I quickly thought that there was nothing. The Bible simply says "Mary was a virgin and had been blessed to be selected to be the one through whom His son, Jesus, would come.".

God asked me if I knew how many virgins were in the world at that time. There were so many of them because virginity then was not as scarce a commodity as it is now. So amongst the many virgins, He (God) had to pick one, and He picked Mary.

Mary was engaged to Joseph, whom the Bible records as "a good man," and the story continues.

So the question is, why didn’t God just pick any virgin and any other good guy, because I’m sure there were many of their kind? For whatever reason, He picked Mary and Joseph because He knew who His Son was, knew what His Son was coming to do, and knew the importance of the right family setting in helping the child thrive and live up to His potential.

So God asked me, "Serah, do you know what you carry within you and what your children will do here on earth?" If you know who they are and what they are destined for, then it is not only ok but great that you be "picky and take your time to select the best father for them and the best partner to help you achieve this in them!"

Kindly notice that after Mary saw the angel Gabriel, God never spoke to her again. He always spoke to Joseph from then on, and Joseph always obeyed promptly, meaning Joseph was an obedient person and had listening ears to hear God. I would like to infer from this that he may have had a relationship with God already, which made it easier for him to know when it was God, as well as to listen and obey swiftly. His obedience and ability to hear the voice of God saved Jesus’ life as a child (I’ve started giving tips for what to look out for in a mate o).

After God told me this, I wiped my eyes and was more emboldened to wait on him and to be resolute in the things I had asked him for in a spouse because, in all honesty, a lot of the things I picked were things I saw in him that I loved (another tip).

Time passed after my conversation with God, and nothing seemed to be changing in my life, so, unknown to me, some of my friends decided I needed an ‘Interfriendtion!" And sent a particular lady to come and speak to me. I thought she came for a normal visit, but she didn’t meet my flatmates, who were more of her friends, so I tried to entertain her while we waited for them. In the course of our discussion, she narrated how she had met her husband, and as always, I was interested in knowing how she knew he was the one God wanted for her because I was always afraid of missing God’s will for me. She spoke, I listened, and she asked me a few questions. By the time I had innocently answered her, she continued the discussion and smiled, saying, "They told me you were very selective and indecisive, but from speaking with you, I can see that you are none of that! Rather, you know exactly what you want and you are not willing to take less, so I will pray with you that God will speedily align your path with the one he has kept for you!’

That was when I knew the visit was not a normal one but a planned one, and I was so grateful for it because finally, it seemed like I had found one person who truly listened to me and helped me see that I was ok and was not headed for "disaster or doom as was predicted."

My mom did a great job in selecting a father for me, and I can’t even tell you how my dad’s presence and person in my life has not only shaped me but helped me see, understand, and love God with ease. Hence, the determination to also get it right for myself and my future kids.

Have you been called or tagged with any names you didn’t like or don’t like in your journey to finding a mate? Does it seem like nobody understands what you want? Well, calm down; you aren’t alone. I've been there, and I’m pretty happy with where God has graciously helped me reach. You will be fine. Focus on God, and go back to him to evaluate you more than anyone else.

Always remind yourself that you carry something special within and will birth seeds that will crush the devil’s kingdom. The Bible says that the whole earth awaits the manifestation of the sons of God. It says that the seed of the woman will crush the head of the serpent, so your seed is super important, and if you know that, then take time to select factors that will help produce a good climate for that seed to thrive.

I know my children are not normal or ordinary. They are the light of the world—a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden. They have come to shake the devil’s kingdom and crush his head, so watch out for them.

I pray you will take the time to do right by you and your children because, like my bestie always says, "My children can't choose their dad, but I can! So it's important I choose the right man who would be the right dad to them!"

If you know that so much is at stake, then do it right and allow me to help where I can by sharing some insights and lessons God has taught me during my journey and search.

 

 

 

 

Connecting the Dots

My bestie had found someone online who was helping to coach her and help her discover her life's purpose. She was given a series of assignments and write-ups to do as a way of self-discovery. One day, she came by, and we started talking about it because the issue of understanding and realizing our life's purpose has always been a serious one for most people and not the easiest in all honesty.

I can't count the number of books I'd read, meetings I'd attended, and workbooks I'd begun in an attempt to discover my life's purpose. I had asked God this question so many times because I did not want to miss it and waste the time I had been given. The journey of self discovery is not an easy one for most, and I won't lie, it wasn't the easiest for me either, so I understood my friend's frustrations as well as the process she was going through.

I read some of the things she had written and the answers she had given to most questions. While discussing the topic at hand, I began to share how I had recently answered a few questions like hers for a scholarship application I submitted a few weeks before our conversation because, sometime last year, I took a course in Health Safety and Education (HSE), NEBOSH, as it's something I have always been interested in. Following the exam, a friend of mine showed me a scholarship for a master's in HSE in Canada, which I decided to apply for.

The application seemed straightforward, but the questions were mind-boggling and something that needed great thought. While I tried to structure my answers, the questions seemed to help me rediscover myself as they seemed to take me down memory lane. It asked questions like, "Describe how you hope the program(s) will lay the foundation for your long-term goals and aspirations; and Tell us about a significant "course correction" you have made in your life."For example, this could be a change in your academic path, in how you approach challenging situations, or in how you work with or motivate others."

The more I answered, the more I saw how my ambitions and thoughts had changed over the years. I started out wanting to be a doctor, then moved on to biochemistry, then international social development, learning to sew, and now HSE, as well as wanting to do a Ph.D. In migration while also taking counseling and mediation courses. My life didn't seem to have any particular pattern, but while reading my heartfelt answers, I realized that in every ambition, course, or thing I had set out to do, at the bottom was the dire need to help humanity, my country, and its people. Although I kept trying to go about it in different ways, my goal and aim never changed, only the strategy. Whatever life presented to me, I always tried to find a way to see how I could use it to help someone (sort of like I hope my blog is doing right now).

Anyway, the moment I realized that, I felt so good as it finally seemed like I was solving my life's mystery and puzzle because, for a long time, everyone around me seemed worried at the haphazard pattern my life and ambitions were taking. It seemed like I was just jumping from place to place and field to field without much direction. While sharing this with my bestie, God reminded me of an event that happened when I was much younger which would help us both.

So believe it or not (for those of you looking at me with Agbero eye), as a child, I spent some of my early years in America, and there was a particular day when I was in second grade, they took all the second graders and had a special presentation done for us.

The school had invited this lady, who had a special gift. In my opinion, she could see things that the normal eye could not. She was able to 'bring dots to life!"

The lady asked for volunteers who would make dots on the whiteboard. The first kid went and did it. She looked at the board for a few minutes and then began to connect them. Before our very eyes, the scattered dots became an animal we knew or some item we could all name.

While everyone was amazed by this, the Nigerian within me thought there was some hanky-panky going on.  I assumed she was able to connect the dots because the kids were doing a ‘lousy job’ in scattering them. They were making it too easy for her in my opinion. I thought to myself, if the opportunity arises, I will go up there and show them what they were supposed to do, and let me see how this woman will be able to connect these dots into something meaningful without leaving any out (you thought I was going to be like the woman with the issue of blood and think some faith thing abi.smh@me). She had already done it twice, and everyone was amazed.

My long-awaited opportunity soon presented itself when they asked for the last volunteer, my hands shot up so quickly. I got to the board and created a super mess. My dots were in different places. Some are very far apart, while others are very close. I stood back and watched my ‘work of art’ before handing the marker over to the lady and going back to see what she would do.

I was sure I had her ‘checked out’ and just wanted to see how she would not be able to do much with mine.

The lady stepped back for a while without saying much but had a super-sweet smile. I sat in my seat, super proud of myself. All of a sudden, the lady moved to the board and began connecting the dots. I could not believe my small eyes (trust me, they are super small). She connected everything and drew a beautiful whale!

Goodness, the whole class, including myself, burst into applause because nobody honestly thought she would be able to make much out of the scattered things I had put up.

As I shared this story with my friend, I understood what God was telling me as well, as I'm sure most of you already know where I'm headed.

Many times, some of our lives look like they are a big mess and we can't seem to make sense of it, and there are just so many odd things that have happened or are happening at different times and places, but guess what? There is good news. If we simply give the right person the pen or marker of our life, they can produce a beautiful picture of our"seeming mess" or "unstructured lives!"

None of my teachers had the gift the lady had, and so assuming I had given any of them the marker, they would not have been able to do much, but in the guest's hand, she had eyes to see beyond the scattered dots and see beautiful images.

To date, I have no idea what you call what the lady could do, but honestly, her talent blew me away.

One of my favorite verses in the bible is Romans 8:28, which says, "For we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called by his name!" As I previously stated in other blogs, "all things" refers to everything, including the decisions we made correctly, our mistakes, and our regrets.

So before you get all jittery and anxious about not knowing if your life is making sense or if, as it seems, things are going haywire this 2023, just give God the marker and watch how he masterfully and creatively connects all the dots as well as uses every incident for your good and his glory. It will all make sense in the end. Trust him!