One look at my face and my friend knew I had little or no clue what the proverb "Man proposes, God disposes" meant (shame emoji but don't judge Sese). We were in SS1 getting ready to write our English exam when I glanced at the essay questions and my face went pale. I hated letter writing so would always opt for the descriptive or argumentative essay. But this time, I was staring intently at the paper when my seatmate, P.D asked what was wrong. I told him and he quickly explained the proverb to me. He said it means that “you make a plan but God decides to do something else." Now that the question made sense, I was ready to write the most interesting fiction story ever. Even though the story I wrote that day was fiction, this one isn't.
2020
for me was supposed to be the year for redefining myself. A year that I was
going to snap back, get that figure 8 again, apply for my Ph.D., go for a
long-awaited family vacation, pursue a new career path, and just have fun!
Those were my humble plans for the year. However, a few days into the year it
was more than apparent that God and I definitely had contrasting ideas for what
2020 was going to be like.
It
all started when we took a 'girls’ trip' with my mom and sisters to Ghana. We
had always wanted to take one but things constantly seemed to come up. It was either
someone was getting married, someone was pregnant, gone to school, or just
raising toddlers. The date was set for the 4th of January and for once in a
long time; we were going to enjoy being served, sleeping late, chatting and
being the Bulus', and nothing more.
The
short holiday was about to end when I began complaining to my mom about how
tired I was and how I was fed up with taking pain killers like Ibex, Ibuprofen,
and all. I had treated malaria twice the previous month and was taking
chloroquine injections even at Christmas so I simply guessed the fatigue was
because my help had traveled for the holiday and I was a bit overwhelmed with
my over-active toddlers. My mom smiled and said “perhaps you are pregnant".
I laughed loud and hard. I told her it was impossible because I had an
Intrauterine device (IUD) which I put a few months back as I was reacting to my
previous family planning method, the patch. I had even checked it before
Christmas and I was good. My mom smiled in her usual way and said "Serah,
these things can fail O!" I laughed again and smartly informed her that IUD is
said to be 99.9% accurate with little or no failure rate. She shook her
head and said, "Anything
that is man-made can fail only the things that are God-made won't!"
As
soon as we returned from the trip, I joined the twenty-one-day fast my church
(Family Worship Center) had embarked on seeking guidance and clarity for the
year. About three days to the end of the fast, I began to feel ill again and so
I complained to the doctor of the family (my baby sister) who suggested I check
my full blood count to ensure I wasn't becoming anemic due to the antimalarial
drugs I had been taking frequently as well as my poor eating habits and the
fast. I agreed to do it and share the results with her the following week.
There
was yours truly at the hospital waiting for my test results when the doctor entered
and said "you
have very little typhoid, your blood level seems ok, no malaria". So what in the
name of God could be wrong with me I thought while sitting there as he canceled
all the things out? He smiled and said
"nothing is wrong with you Mrs. Mohammed; you are just pregnant!
Congratulations!!" What? This
guy must be joking. I was sure he was making fun of me because of the two
occasions that I had marched into the hospital toward the end of the previous year,
demanding that he conduct a pregnancy test. This was because I felt I may have
been pregnant despite the IUD and had heard from friends as well as a colleague
that some people they knew had gotten pregnant within spite of it. We had
carried out the tests even though he had told me it was not possible and that I
was letting my mind to play tricks on me. He said all those stories I had paid
attention to were nothing more than folk tales and were psychologically
affecting me; that was the reason why I was feeling the way I did. After I had
lost a bet to him twice concerning the matter, I also let the issue of
pregnancy with IUD go; so please understand my confusion when he came into the
room boldly announcing to me, that I was pregnant.
I
laughed at him and said he should get serious and tell me what was wrong or at
least give me something for fatigue since we both knew that pregnancy with an
IUD was out of the question. For a split second, it seemed as if my Doctor
friend had caught amnesia and forgotten I had an IUD on. I saw his face change
as he remembered and ushered me in for a quick scan, he had never witnessed
such and from the look on his face, I knew he was serious.
A
consultant came in and there it was; a well intact fetus in a gestational sac.
From the scan, the baby was over 6 weeks and was doing well. The IUD had
apparently shifted into my cervix and had failed just like my mom had told me.
By
the time I left the hospital, my mind was spinning in every direction. I had so
many questions and worries. I had taken vaccines for my trip, strong painkillers, and goodness; a baby was not in the picture or plan for 2020. I had
even told my best friend that '2020 is not for “borning (giving birth)” anybody oo! It is
for re-strategizing!' I was happy but also in a bit of despair.
I
didn't tell anyone anything about the pregnancy, not even my husband. I just
needed to wrap my mind around everything happening. I eventually told my
husband after a few days and he looked at me that night, held me, and said
"please don't question God okay? This child is a miracle and will be a
blessing!" I believed him but knew everything I had planned for 2020 was
about to change.
There
I was dealing with the unexpected, when in strolled COVID-19 threatening
everyone and everything as well as causing a huge scare for almost every
pregnant lady in the world. I remember the first thing God told me during the
lockdown was "Do not fear what they fear Serah…Isaiah 8:11-14",
there and then, I knew we would be okay.
The
journey was an amazing one (story for another day) but God was faithful and he
had given me favor with so many people especially my colleagues to whom I will
be eternally grateful. My daughters were so excited about having a new baby and
tried to help as much as they could. I desired to have twin boys but even if
they didn't come, I was not going to be shaken as I had truly taken time to
finally understand what scripture means when it says “tell me the desires of your
heart that I may grant them (Ps 37:4).” I was simply going to pray that my desire aligns with God's
desire for me. Whether the child is a girl, boy, or boys, I was not going
to bother. I just prayed the child or children would be healthy.
On
the 6th of September, 2020 my long-awaited journey had come to an end and God
had blessed me with the most adorable baby. His name is Zane Isaiah Chimda Manji Majid
Mohammed.
So, my 2020 was not what I had planned, neither was it what I
had prayed for nor anticipated. It was better. God had given me a gift that was
beyond me, hence the Hebrew name Zane
which means "gift from God/God is
Gracious" and Chimda
(my cousin's namesake) which is Kilba for 'What I want or
Desire'.
Finally, I truly understood what I was asked to write about in
high school! I pray that God surprises you with gifts that are beyond you in
the remaining days of the year and if 2020 didn't go as you planned, know that
it is as God wanted and whatever He does, it is with your best in mind (Jer
29:11) so just try to trust his decision okay?
Now
you know why I was silent for a greater part of the year.
Thank you for indulging me and opening your heart to me.
Merry Christmas in Advance!!
