A Little too Late

As a young Christian girl schooling in the north, you are prone to certain dilemmas such as falling in love with someone of a different religious group as yourself. No matter how armed you are with scripture and knowledge, love, and attraction throw in a different dimension to the game, one that can be difficult to get away from. While most Christian guys would never understand it and are often appalled by it, many ladies can relate, especially if they schooled within the core north.

Even though I seemed to have had some form of mastery over the situation in the university, meeting, Yusuf during my NYSC was going to pose a threat to all I knew, believed, and had shown such discipline over.

I stumbled upon Yusuf or should I say he stumbled upon me on my way to one of my favorite eateries close to my house. I acted a bit snobbish towards him as I usually did to most guys who approached me. Believe me, I could be a tough nut to crack. But somehow, Yusuf persisted and I later found out that we lived in the same area.

 What endeared me to him was the fact that he was kind, hardworking, simple, wise, intelligent and so easy to talk to. Above all, he believed in me, and always encouraged me to be better, do better and strive for greater things. He sometimes seemed to see in me things I feared to see in myself. Yusuf didn't see or view people as tribes and religious groups, but just as people. He was like that big brother you would love to have if you didn't have one.

I could go for an interview and come back sad about my performance or experience. Yusuf would want to know some of the questions asked and would ensure I familiarized myself with the answers. If it was something out of his field; he would find a friend who was vast in that area and get them to teach me. He would often tell me never to judge people by their ethnicities. He discouraged phrases like "all these Yoruba or Igbo people". People were people and their tribes had nothing to do with their character he would often say. One of the greatest lessons he taught me was never to lie, but to always speak the truth, no matter what; as lying would belittle you in the eyes of one who previously respected you or held you in high esteem if they ever found out you had lied.

I guess by now, you can see why it was so easy for me to fall in love with his person even though; I knew I could not date him. But by God, I would have loved to, if not for that one verse that constantly stared at me.

That verse that I had memorized by heart as a child that ever so often, I would wish I didn't know or had never heard. At least that way, the saying "ignorance is bliss" would have been my covering. God cannot hold me accountable for something I did not know. Unfortunately for me, I knew this verse too well and it was always there staring at me like a mirror.

What verse is this I keep blabbing about you say? It's the one that says "do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever" (2nd Cor. 6:14).  While the verse was easy to memorize and quote even then, it was not easy to live and abide by on meeting Yusuf.

If ever I was asked if I loved this person, my answer would have been "Yes" and I knew he loved me, but one thing we never spoke about was religion because you would never want to 'rock that boat'. So there I was, with the seemingly right person for me, but we were almost two worlds apart. Yusuf valued his religion as much as I valued mine, so none of us would be willing to budge.

While Islam allows for Muslim men to marry Christian women, Christianity on the other hand frowns at it. I for one would know this as I had so much scripture in my head and stories from the bible to back it up. As such, I was not about to get an 'F9' before my God and let someone else score an 'A1' before theirs. My God meant so much to me and I loved him too much to pick someone else over him even though making that choice felt as if my heart would be ripped from my very soul and so we both just seemed to let our relationship stay as friends and nothing more.  Yusuf's close friends, however, would ever so often ask me to reconsider my stance and just marry him since we seemed perfect for each other and besides, many Christian girls were dating and marrying Muslims. If what I said was true, then why did the other Christian girls delve into it? I would laugh and tell him it was very scriptural and I cannot speak for the convictions of other Christian girls who made such decisions, but I knew my convictions. I knew the bible and nothing mattered to me more than obeying what God had spelled out for me even if it came at a cost to me.

Although I had made my resolve, some days I would want to cave in and so would run to my friend and tell her my woes and my dilemma with Yusuf as he was not a stranger to her and she would tell me how she, on the other hand, was more attracted to Christian guys even though she was a Muslim and so we would console each other.

One of those days, my friend looked at me and said "Serah, I know you love him so much and I know he loves you, but marriage is beyond you two." She reminded me of how her mom and dad had tried such and it ended badly for them as kids, because her mom later wanted to pursue her Christianity and left them with their dad. I knew how hard life had been for them, then as we were kids and she asked me if I would want that for my kids. Or what would happen if he one day said my kids must all be Muslims or they chose to on their own? Did I believe Islam was the way? And if I didn't, would I be ok with my kids missing out on eternity because I chose to love someone whose religious views contradicted mine? Her words hit me hard and I knew she was speaking from experience. She genuinely loved me and so I decided there and then, to let it go.

Time went by and 'my Yusuf' as my friends used to call him got married to a very kind and beautiful lady. About a year or two later, I also got married to my friend and longtime crush (my Papi).

One fateful day, my friend called me and while chatting, she said she was so sorry about the loss of my Yusuf. I wasn't sure I heard her well. That was when she realized I had no idea he had passed on. She said he had taken ill briefly and died, leaving his wife with a little boy. Goodness! That was not something I was expecting to hear that day. My heart was so heavy. I cried my eyes out so much so that she wished she had never told me.

There and then, my mind began to spin; different questions seemed to be hurled at me at top speed. Where would Yusuf be? Would he be in Heaven or Hell? He was such a good person and he did not deserve to miss heaven. But the bible makes it clear that anyone who does not accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Personal savior will not make heaven (John 14:6). Had someone ever spoken to Yusuf about Jesus? Dear Lord, I prayed, I hope somebody told him about You and he gave his life to You before he died. Please, Lord, I beg this of you. That was all I could keep muttering until the Devil hit me hard. He said "Serah, if you who claims to have loved him did not tell him about your Jesus, then who do you expect to have done it? Because if you were ever asked you if you loved him, your answer would have been yes". Oh, that hurt, it felt like something had stabbed me in the heart. The devil's words were painful, but yet so true. I loved Yusuf but did not love him enough to tell him the truth about what I believed and what I knew could save him from eternal damnation. I had failed him as a friend and the devil wasted no time to point that out. Despite what the Devil had told me, I still threw my prayer up to God asking for mercy on behalf of my friend and hoping a miracle had happened before his death.

Since the Devil had slapped me hard, I was going to give him a punch he was going to regret. I was determined to make him regret those comments he had thrown my way. So I began to ask the Holy Spirit for help as I was about to embark on a difficult journey. I resolved to tell my Muslim relatives and friends as well as anyone who dared to give me the audience about the only way I knew and believed would ensure they had eternal life.

I sat down one day and wrote a very heartfelt letter to my family friends telling them how much I love them and value our relationship, but I had realized through the death of my Yusuf that there were things we never took time to speak about. I asked them what the Qur'an says that assures them of eternal life after death as I believed they would never lie to me but would tell me the truth. So if ever I realized or thought Christianity was not the way, I knew what to do to convert to Islam and be saved. In turn, I told them what the bible says and how no one can get to the Father except through Jesus Christ his Son and if ever they thought Islam was not the way, all they had to do was believe in their hearts and confess with their mouths that they were sinners, believed that Jesus came, died and resurrected for our sakes, then invite Him to be their Lord and personal savior.

I told them that I never want to be at a party where those who matter to me are not present. I asked for their forgiveness if I had offended them by anything I had said, but they should know that it was done in love.

How would they respond? I didn't have the slightest clue, but I had done as the Holy Spirit had asked and I left it in his hands.

Guess what? Not one of them was angry, offended, or upset. Instead, they all thanked me, and one, in particular, told me that in her entire life, nobody had ever thought of her to that extent; enough to tell her such things. None of them told me what assures them of heaven from the Qur'an, but at least, I had passed the message across and the seeds of the words had been sown in their hearts. I pray for them daily and ask God for a big surprise when we get to heaven.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I recently had a dream in which someone kept telling me to tell a particular man that "he doesn't have much time". I could not see the person's face to whom I was to deliver that message, but it was someone I knew and cared about.

Time is not our own, it is God's to do with it as He pleases and as I have learned in a very hard way, death does not consult us before it takes the ones we love or care about.

If you ever want to know a person who loves you, it's that person who thinks about where you would spend eternity. It's the person who would risk their relationship with you here on earth and offend you now, to ensure that you both meet in eternity.

As you read this, I do pray it encourages you to rock the boat, positively, to save a life or lives, to share the gospel and speak what you know about God, evangelize, preach salvation to someone and to please keep passing this message across until people read, repent and give their lives to Christ.

I leave you with this: Don't give up on anyone and think they are too far for God to reach. My best friend was born and bred a Muslim, I prayed for 7 years straight since I met her in our first year of University, asking God to turn her heart to him. She was so deep in Islam I did not know how it would happen, but I did know how to pray and so I did what I knew to do. Today, my friend has been a God-fearing Christian for almost 12 years and is growing stronger. So do not tell me, and don't you dare believe the lie that there is a soul God cannot reach and convert if only we could pray, speak, and believe.