GOODBYE 2019, HELLO 2020

I wish I could tell you I was a bit more enthusiastic about the classes which would hold for 16 weeks, but goodness, I love my morning sleep and those classes were going to eat out of that, but o well, it was either that or keep procrastinating and never truly becoming a member of the church nor finding my space to serve.

So, there I was, in my first Discipleship Training School (DTS) class wondering what new thing I was going to learn being that I had practically grown up feeding on the Word of God. My Mom had ensured that we started having a good relationship with God since I was a child; that and my pink bible which was given to me by my Sunday school teacher, coupled with 6 years of Baptist High School, Jos, Bible Study Fellowship and learning from wonderful pastors so, in all honesty, I was a bit skeptical I would learn anything new at DTS but since it was mandatory for us to attend before becoming members of the Church then, I was going to comply.

Our first-class was on salvation; a topic almost any Christian would be conversant with, but little did I know that there were so many things to it that we often miss and simply take for granted because for many of us, we were born into Christianity and so we just flowed with it.

Salvation, as we were taught ‘is the total work of God in forging a right relationship between mankind and himself. It is God’s remedy for the fall of man. It is deliverance from sin and death leading to eternal life and happiness. Jesus Christ by his death and resurrection brought salvation to all who believe in him’.

I had almost made it to the end of the class unmoved until I spotted one question that sent my mind swirling and my heart beating. It was a pretty simple question‘what can we learn from the condemnation of Jesus and the release of Barabbas? While I pondered over the question, the Holy Spirit brought another question to my mind 'Serah, do you reckon you can do what God did?

Nailah was barely a year plus and she was my world. I could not picture sacrificing my little girl who brought me so much joy for anyone? I would not be able to bring myself to it no matter what. Even if it meant that millions would die if I didn't do it, then I guess they would all have to die because I simply can't.  If ever such a sacrifice needs to be done and I am the one to do it, then I suggest that each man make his way straight with God at that moment and prepare to meet him and their fate because I cannot do it and I won't.

I pictured Mary, helpless and watching as her little boy was being beaten to a pulp and made to carry a cross, he had no business with and a crown of thorns he didn’t deserve.  The thought of it all appalled me and I could not stomach it or the events that brought about my salvation.

Even though I have two girls now, but I still can't think of anything that would make me sacrifice or let one child go to help anyone. No one is worth that much trouble for me, not anyone. Talk more of doing that for an ungrateful bunch of people who may never truly understand the extent of that sacrifice or what it cost me and they could abuse it? Naa, I can't do it and I respect anyone who can do the things I can't do.

There and then, my spiritual arrogance began to fade and give way to genuine gratitude. Never in all my Christian life had I truly understood what it cost God to sacrifice his only child for me not knowing how I would receive or treat this gift and still going the distance to do it. For the first time, I caught a little glimpse of how much God loved me and what it cost Him for me to be saved.

The thought blew my mind, and in all honesty, I guess it may take you to be a parent or a mother to truly comprehend it, but even as an aunt, I can't think of anything that would make me give up any of my nephews or nieces for anyone; I love them too much.

God loves us so much that He gave up everything just to reunite us with Him. He risked it all on a bunch of ungrateful people who rather than appreciate his gift, whine, complain, grumble, insult and just treat it with so much contempt. Perhaps we never truly get it because we didn't pay for it and by the human standard it is super easy to take for granted and abuse something that costs you nothing to get. Very few people like King David may ever truly comprehend this and that is why he says 'let all that I am praise the Lord; He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies' (Psalm 103:4).

As the year 2019 comes to an end, I pray that you can truly catch a glimpse of what it cost God to ensure that He saved and redeemed you from hell, and hopefully it would prompt you to genuine gratitude and help chart your 2020 to be a year where you become more deliberate in things that concern Him and making the sacrifice count.

When I enter cabs, board a flight, enter Keke (tricycle), wherever and whatever I am doing, you best be assured that I am deliberately calculating ways to make my money, time and God’s sacrifice count. I prayerfully seek ways to throw God into our discussion while silently hoping that I can use my opportunity well enough to just share a little about His love with you. Just seeking ways to make the sacrifice count and to make Him know I was worth it and not a waste.

Amongst the many things I have written this year, I pray you read this post and the one titled ‘terrified’ because those lessons for me are the kind you never want to forget.

Have an amazing new year and see you in 2020 by God's grace.

Thanks for reading, supporting, cheering and sharing with us on lessonsfromNailah.

Suprise

Christmas was in the air and spirits were high. Nailah had just made a new friend that year; although she was a bit older than her, they were birthday mates and they had established a very special and admirable bond.

I had shopped and done as much as I could to prepare for the Christmas holiday and hoped that I would be able to make her second Christmas more fun than her first.

I had just gotten to the office when I saw my colleague Ajike and her little girl on their way out because they were traveling to the village for the Christmas holiday. My friend passed me a nice bag and said 'it's for Nailah'!

Apparently, while doing their Christmas shopping, she and her daughter decided to get Nailah a Christmas gift. In all honesty, I was surprised as I was not expecting anything like that. I was truly moved by their kind gesture and thoughtfulness to my little girl and I thanked them profusely.

We said our goodbyes as we also would be headed for Jos that day. While on the trip, my mind kept replaying what had happened. I was so happy and just could not get over what they had done for Nailah. I had shared the incident with my husband and niece and they were as touched as I was.

Nailah, on the other hand, loved the beautiful pink dress she had just received even though she had little understanding of how much it was worth and the love that had been poured into it, but I did.

I kept wondering what could have made them think of my little girl like that!

To some people, it may just be a dress, but to me, it was the thought that had moved me more than anything else. I have never done anything super special for my friend Ajike and her daughter to warrant such kindness and we were not related by blood so there was nothing that should make them do this. They did not owe me anything I thought to myself.

While I was reflecting on those thoughts, I silently kept thinking of ways and praying for opportunities to come that I would be able to do something super special for them (Ajike and her daughter) to show my gratitude.

While I kept thinking and smiling, God told me something that changed my Christmas orientation forever.

God: Serah, you seem so pleased with what your friend Ajike and her daughter did for Nailah right?

Serah: I said yes. I told him how extremely happy I was and how I was just thinking of something I could do to show her and her daughter how much I appreciated what they had done for Nailah.

God told me that the same way I am so happy and moved with the show of kindness to my child is the same way he is happy and moved when we show kindness to any of his children. So also the way I was looking and praying for opportunities to bless my friend and her daughter for what they had done is the same way He also is looking and waiting for opportunities to bless those who have blessed his children and thought of ways to make them happy or bring smiles on their faces. I got the picture and the message and I hope you do too.

Every time we set out to be a blessing, God is also setting himself to bless us for the joy we have brought to the lives of his Children and the reverse holds as well. That is why the bible says ' I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you' (Genesis 12:3).

There is no parent on the face of this earth who is not pleased when someone shows/extends kindness to their children. We all learn it from God. So as this Christmas is coming, kindly take time to show kindness to someone. Make someone feel loved, remembered and special. It doesn't have to be something expensive, it just needs to be something that you have put great thought into that comes from the heart, but be like David, who says' I shall not give God what cost me nothing" (2nd Samuel 24:24) for ultimately, every gift you give a child of God is given to the Father as well. So go and spread some holiday cheer!!

Have a Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

Lots of Love from Lessons from Nailah

DELIBERATE

‘Serah, please pray for us’ that was the first thing my boss told me as we gathered to tackle a pretty tasking memo at the office. A Committee had been formed especially for this as we were to create something that was pretty new to most of us on the Committee. I had been dreading this Committee work for weeks.

I gave a fire branded prayer quickly asking for the help of the Holy Spirit who knows all things and is the best teacher and guide.

The work commenced and before you know it, we had made great achievements and were almost done with it. As it was already closing hour, we decided to reconvene the next day and conclude on all we had done.

I got home and was just pondering over the events of the day when I saw a replay of the day’s events starting from the meeting with my boss saying ‘Serah pray for us’. I watched everything as it happened and how we dispersed immediately after. I heard my prayer clearly asking for help but I didn’t hear myself or any other person go back to say ‘thank you Holy Spirit for the help you rendered us’, rather, it ended with a ‘see you tomorrow’.

Wow, how could we have been so rude by not going back to give thanks?

 I understood what the Holy Spirit was saying and quickly asked for his forgiveness on behalf of the whole team and said a proper ‘thank you, Holy Spirit’.

The next day, my boss was about to start the meeting with a ‘pray for us’ when I shared my encounter with the Holy Spirit. My boss was quiet and asked me about what time it happened because she has experienced the same thing at home and like myself, repented and asked for forgiveness on behalf of everyone and gave thanks.

The room was pretty silent when one of my colleagues who had been keenly following all that was happening made a key statement that caught my attention. She said ‘that means the Holy Spirit was bent on getting that thank you and was not going to relent on it because it was important to him’!

While sharing the day’s events with my best friend, we started talking about how easy it was for us to express profound gratitude to people who do things for us, but neglect to show that same level of gratitude to God when he does stuff for us. It is like somewhere at the back of our minds, we feel it is our right and entitlement. I can relate with that because while growing up, I felt the same sense of entitlement when it came to God. I got so upset if I asked for something that I felt was in accordance to his Words and knew He could do, but didn’t (read my frustrated article to get a feel).

Anyway, everything changed for me with the birth of my daughter Anaiah; where I learned to exchange that ‘entitlement and rights attitude’ for a ‘gratitude attitude’ (check my blog on gratitude attitude for full story).

Safe to say that after that encounter at the office, I began to be more deliberate about going back to say ‘thank you’ to the Holy Spirit whenever He did anything for me, especially when I came asking for help.

Through that experience, I learned that so often, it is easy for the human mind to forget the good things God has done; but the mind easily remembers the ‘seemingly bad’ things that happened. Perhaps that is why David said ‘let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me’ (Psalm 103:2). It is simply because he (David) knows that to remember ‘good’ is a very deliberate and difficult thing for the human mind.

I’ve met people who can give exact dates and detailed descriptions of situations that hurt them but couldn’t remember the good ones or the ones that brought them joy. Most times, it is people who are new in the faith (especially new converts) that remember or people who are deliberate to remember that come back and give thanks. Our feelings of entitlement, rights mentality, and fuzzy brains make us shock God and cause Him to ask questions like ‘didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no-one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner (Mark 17:17-28)?

The year may not have gone as expected but, I pray that you make a deliberate effort to sit down, think and just find a reason or reasons to give thanks. Just look around you and you will find a lot. The fact that you are still standing means there is still hope and God is not done with you yet. So end this year by giving deliberate thanks. As they say; ‘Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done’.

FORGOTTEN

It was an extremely hot Sunday afternoon; my boyfriend and I just got out of the church and were headed for my niece’s first birthday. Upon arriving, the house seemed a bit chaotic with different scrumptious meals being prepared at the back of the house. We had left church late and were super hungry.

My boyfriend and I had just started dating and I wanted to make a good impression on him and so I politely excused myself and went to join the other ladies at the back hoping to speed up the food process and get all the goodies out for my ‘foodie’ boyfriend and all other guests.

While slaving in the kitchen with my cousins, I picked my phone to check for something and behold the message I got from my darling boyfriend:

Boyfriend: Hey Dear, have you forgotten me? Everyone is eating and it is getting a bit depressing watching them eat. Even those who came after we have been served and are eating something!

 I could not believe it. Did this guy actually send this message to me? It seems he doesn’t know me well o (those were the crazy small thoughts flying through my head).  Anyway, it’s not his fault; it is because I like him, that’s the reason he’s asking if I have forgotten about him. And here was I, slaving away and trying my utmost best to get all the food out so he can have a selection to choose from, unlike the others who are just stuck with jollof rice, potato salad (which he does not like), cake and meat which were the few things that had been served.

Serah: Father, can you believe this guy? I’m here trying to get the fried rice out, moi moi, plantain, vegetable salad and all the yummy stuff out so I can make his plate full and sumptuous but here he is asking me if I have forgotten him. Simply because he is in the sitting room and the wall between us won’t let him see what I’m doing here.

I had not gone far with my thoughts when I heard God tell me to hush.

God: Are you any different from your boyfriend?

I did not understand; God and I were supposed to be discussing and analyzing my boyfriend’s “insensitive” speech, and not talk about me!

God: So many times, you and so many of my children simply sit complaining, whining, crying and asking whether or not I have forgotten you? Simply because you have no idea and can’t see all that I am doing behind the scenes to get things working for you. While I am arranging a plate for you that when others see, they shall be envious of you, you are there whining, crying and even begging me to give you a normal dish like everyone else. This is exactly the same way your boyfriend was asking if you had forgotten him because he was seeing people who had come after him eating, not knowing the loving thoughts and the plans you are having for him and his plate.

He said sometimes you whine, “…. is getting married or has a job or got admission into a school or has kids, but see me here”, yet I have served you long and loved you more, have you forgotten me? Just the way you are feeling hurt by that statement is the same way I feel every time I hear my children ask this question even though I have made them several promises that I can’t forget them.

I have told you that “the plans I have for you are of good and not of evil, to bring you to a good and expected end”, have I not? I have said that “I prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies and I will anoint your head with oil that thy cup will overflow”. I have also told you that “I will never leave you nor forsake you” haven’t I? Above all, I have told you that “even if your mother and Father can forget you, I, God, can never forget you”, but you still sit there and ask me “have you forgotten me or do you not love me anymore?”

With that type of explanation from God, who was I to still begrudge my boyfriend for his comment? I was humbled and yes, for those wondering, he got a plate full of all the sumptuous goodies at the party, so it was worth the wait!!

Lesson: The fact that we cannot see what God is doing behind the scenes does not mean he is not doing anything. Simply because others come after you and are getting their blessings, don’t let it move you. Just be patient and know that God who made you loves you and is well aware of all that is happening and is working everything out for your good. So my people, let me be your reminder as the year winds up and it seems as though so many of your heart’s desires have not been met yet, be rest assured, He has not forgotten you at all.

FRUSTRATED

Have you ever gotten to a low point in your life that made you doubt almost everything you know and believe? Have you ever felt angry, hurt, betrayed and abandoned by the one person you have always found solace in? Have you ever dared to look at God and call him a liar and tell him you do not trust him, nor his words because everything he has said that you believed and held him to just wasn't breaking even? Have you ever gotten to a point that you don't even care what the Almighty God can do to you, in fact,  you have zeroed your mind that if it means him taking your life, he should but you will tell him how you feel without any apologies? Ever sat and wondered or asked ‘where is God when it hurts the most'? I have felt all this and more, so much more! Lucky for you, I have an answer.

For those of you who have never experienced any of these, I do not envy you. Even though then, I may have been tempted to because everything around me simply didn't seem to work. I had tried everything and had played every card in my hand including my joker. I felt as if I was down and out.

Usually, I am an idealist by nature, super optimistic and trusting but at this time and stage in my life; I had just about had it. I have had enough of the church gimmicks, the New Year and month slogans, trying to fall in love with the right guy and praying to find a job or school. I was down and out. Above all, I was angry, disappointed and out rightly frustrated.

The word frustrated as Google defines it is a ‘feeling or expressing distress and annoyance resulting from an inability to change or achieve something'. That explained how I was feeling the year 2009.  Let me backtrack a little:

All through my life growing up, I hardly faced major issues or challenges. Everything that came my way, I seemed to surmount and scale through. I had finished school with good grades, was young, hardworking, exposed, independent, beautiful, loved God and had served in all the right places. Never in my wildest thoughts would I have dreamt or believed that I would finish my National Youth Service and not have a job waiting on my doorsteps, but that was exactly what had happened.

 I had wanted to marry at the age of 22 but from all indications, that was not going to happen. In the love department, I had many nice suitors, but I didn't like any of them enough to date or dare to picture marrying them and concerning a job, no such thing seemed to be happening. I had applied for at least 50 jobs and had attended so many interviews, only to never hear from them again or just get rejection after rejection. Every time that happened, I would simply tell myself, another door would open. Perhaps that was not God's will for me so imagine my pain when all the cards I had in my hand, I had played and still, I had no job and no admission from any university to further my education.

I had tried everything I knew how to. I had prayed, fasted in fact, almost all through my life, I had served God to the best of my ability and loved Him dearly. Nothing ever made more sense to me or made me happier than knowing that God was my father. Being that I had an amazing earthly father, it made it so much easier to relate with my heavenly one.

Goodness, I can still see the last rejection I received and it was just too much to bear. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. I could not sleep, despite the sleep-aid I had taken. I was in so much pain and distress and what made it worse for me was the fact that the God and Father I have known and trusted seemed to have failed and abandoned me. I could not understand why He didn't want to help me get a job or a school or even find love where I could just get married like most of my friends and relatives. Everyone's life seemed to be moving except mine.

Why did God who claimed to love me, be hurting me so much. It seemed like He just stood there and let the Devil knock me down and stab me again and again and again. I mean, He is God Almighty, the I am that I am, the Alpha and Omega, the One who makes all impossibilities possible so why was He turning a blind eye on my case?

So I decided that enough was enough, it’s time to meet with God and ask certain questions. That night, I went outside and faced God squarely. I was ready to die if need be, what more could he do to me beyond what he was already doing? My life felt almost worthless to me and I was just fed up. So there I was, in front of the house at midnight, facing the heavens and telling (pouring put my pain from the depth of my heart) God everything I had mentioned in my first few paragraphs. I told Him, He was a liar, I didn't trust nor believe Him anymore and in my heart, I was going to leave Jos (where I was living) and go to Abuja to just become that bad girl. I wanted to do something that would hurt God as much as He had hurt me. I wanted Him to feel my pain. I was going to take a drastic step to hurt Him. I laugh in retrospect because if the truth is told, if I had done what I had conceived in my heart, I would have been the one who got hurt and not God.

I was venting to my older sister about my pain and what I thought of God at that moment. I could almost hear my sister on the other side of the line almost in tears as she kept trying to encourage me and answer the questions I was hurling. I kept asking her "why me'? ‘ God, why me'? ‘What have I done to deserve all this'? I see You going to different lengths to help people who don't love You, revere You nor obey Your commands, but here I am, doing my utmost best to just be what You have asked of me and yet, You do nothing to help me.

I said ‘people ask dumb questions like ‘where is God when it hurts the most'? They should not bother asking that anymore because I can answer it for them. He is where He always is when people need Him; ‘nowhere to be found'? The same place He was when His Son was hanging on the cross and calling out to Him for help!

My sister was almost dying on the other side of the line because she had never heard me speak like that and she knew how much I was hurting, but for once in her life, she could do nothing in her capacity as big sister to help me. She was helpless against the situation. She just kept saying ‘remember, you are the special one' (and no, she is not a Chelsea fan for those of you wondering). I had been bashed in so many ways by God, but I always seemed to find the strength to get up, dust myself off and fight again, but not this time, this time, I felt like I was down and out. Game over! I told my sister I did not want to be ‘the special one anymore'. I wanted to be ‘ordinary and normal like everyone else because normal people don't have it as rough as I was. This was not the first time stuff had happened to me, but this to me was more than I could handle.

In my family, I am the encourager the one who can get you through almost anything with words and faith, so imagine when that kind of person seems to accept defeat.

God and I were no longer friends and if I spoke to Him again, it was simply because my mother had raised me right and so I would say ‘good morning to Him and Goodnight but no more chit chat and being friends'! I was done with it and Him as well.

I packed my bags a few days later and was off to Abuja to just do everything wrong. I was done being good. I was going to come and just be a wild child. I didn't tell anyone my plan and so no one could stop me.

I had come to spend a few weeks with my then best friend, Hadiza Aboki (RIP my darling will always love you). When I got there, we spoke about my hurt and my new resolution. Like everyone else, Hadiza didn't know what to say, but being a person of few words, she brought out her Our Daily Manner (ODM) devotional and said we should use it to pray every day. I just indulged her, but my mind was far gone from there. A week had passed and I was still not talking to God, but being a Father who knows his kids well, He let me be for a while.

Hadiza had gone out and I was alone in the house when I heard God begin to speak to me. Our conversation went a bit like this:

GOD: My darling Serah, I know you are angry, hurt, disappointed and frustrated. You are so angry with me and I know. Do you remember when you were kids and escorted your mom to the hospital to get your baby sister immunized?

Me: Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?

God: Do you remember how angry you were with your mom for not stepping in to save ‘your baby' while watching the nurses and other people take her blood and give her shots while she cried and cried?

Me: Yes, I remember. I was so upset with my mom for doing nothing. I felt she was watching these strangers hurt our baby while she did nothing. I recall not wanting to talk to her at all after because of it (forgetting that I did not carry this child in my womb for 9 months but hey, I was only about 6 years old then).

God: Do you recall when you came back to Nigeria and your little brother of fewer than 2 years caught pneumonia and had to be given a lot of shots to treat him?

Me: Yes, I remember. I remember how depressed my mother was watching my uncle give him shot after shot while seeing her son cry helplessly, but she could do nothing to stop the process.

God: Serah, your mother didn't stop the process with any of your younger ones not because she couldn't but because she is a parent and every good parent knows that if they stop the process, the child can die. If your mom had said " Doctor, Stop it, my baby is crying too much, I can't stand to see my child in pain and had taken any of them away, there was a major possibility that pneumonia would have killed my brother or in the years to come, any of the 7 killer diseases could spring up and being that my sister was not immunized against it, she could easily die. Your mother didn't step in because she loved her kids too much.

Just like your mother, I am a Father, Your Father! I love you more than you could ever imagine and that is why I sent My Son to die for you. If I could sacrifice Him to save you, then is there anything good that I won't give you? You asked where I am when it hurts the most?  Serah, guess what, I am always there. The same place I was when I watched My Son hung on the cross to save humanity. Like your mother, I will not want to stop the process in your life because I want to make sure you are immune to anything the Devil may want to send your way in the near future that may threaten to take your life or take your faith.

Your earthly parents are not happy when they see you crying, hurt or frustrated over this matter so why or how would you think I would be happy? If they could, they would do anything in their capacity to stop you from hurting the way you are but they can't. They cannot love you more than Me Serah and so just know that anything I allow or permit in your life is for your good and will work out for your good perhaps not now but it will.

O my, I felt happy, thankful and joyful. God had spoken to my heart the way He knew I needed it. I didn't execute my Abuja plan again. There was no need to. My father had just taken the time to let me know that He is well aware of all I was feeling and I mattered to Him.

Things did not change for me immediately for those of you wondering. I didn't get a job or a boyfriend or a school offer to pursue my masters that year but I had gotten more than that. I had gotten a word that would stay with me forever.

So here I was, sometime last week watching my life take on this funny roller coaster journey with the worst of them being when yours truly, my Nailah was on admission due to a ‘ high bacterial load and malaria'. While watching them administer drip and give her injections, I was so sad and felt a bit helpless but knew she needed it. Truth be told, whenever my kids are ill, I wish it was me instead. I wish I could take that disease upon myself and let them just be in good health, but as we all know, it can't be. One of the most devastating scenarios is when they come to give her a shot. Being that she is terrified of needles, she screams, cries, begs and does a whole lot not to take it, but we all have to hold her down because we know she needs it to get better.

One of those days, while watching everything play out, I remembered what God had explained to me in 2009.

Are you feeling Frustrated? Or ready to give up and throw in the towel? Please don't. It is all a process and God is working everything out for your good (Rom 8:28). He has not forgotten you and never will. I may not know your exact situation or how you feel, but trust me, I have a good idea. I was there at a point in time, but God brought me out strong. Those are just a few of the reasons why I trust and love Him so much. If it hurts you so much, Shout it out to the heavens and tell Him exactly how you feel. He is not afraid of your pain, your words or your anger rather; He wants to know it all. When you come before Him, bear it all to Him. Trust me, He can handle anything you have to say or do.

God truly loves you and so do I. Please stay in the process!!!

TERRIFIED

                                                  

We were in my sister's car (sister S) headed for a lady's day out. We, being my Mum, sister S, sister K, Nailah (the only female grandchild, then before Anaiah came raining on her parade) and myself. Everything seemed ok, breeze blowing, gist flowing and all until I realized that my precious one-year-old daughter was not in the car with us. I turned around frantically searching for her like any parent would upon such a horrid discovery.

I turned around and from the back, I saw a truck filled with men wearing black, a flag and in the front of the truck was my Nailah. The men looked like Boko Haram Terrorists and I was scared. She is just a year old I thought. What will these men do or want with a child so small? The bad images running through my mind were almost giving me a heart attack. Nailah looked so scared and lost in the car amidst those strange men, but who could blame her? I screamed and told sister S to turn the car around and follow the group into the building they were headed to.

We got into the compound and I came out searching for their car and my child. Not knowing what I would do if they tried to attack me, but I didn't care, in fact, I was not thinking that far. My mind was just on how to retrieve my child.  Only sister K seemed to be helping me search. We were checking rooms, knocking on doors and just about doing all we could, but Nailah wasn't there and I could not see the truck or the terrorist looking, men. I was at my wit's end when I saw their truck pop out of now where and head back to the main road.

Sister K and I quickly ran back into the car and asked sister S to chase the car. While in the car, I recall hearing sister S ranting about how I had just spoilt and scattered her plans. She had planned on going to the salon and getting her hair done, but here we were chasing a group of unknown men for my daughter. I was shocked, appalled and just sad, but I didn't have time to respond. My mind was focused on one thing only, getting my daughter back. While my sister spoke, I looked to my mom to see if she would intervene in the situation and perhaps scold sister S for passing such a comment but my mom was almost mute. She just sat in the car without saying a word. She didn't look upset about the situation nor disturbed. Only one person in that car seemed to sympathize with me and feel my pain, only sister K. She held me and was just trying to keep me calm. Chiding that we would find Nailah, She will be alright.

My heart was so heavy and I simply felt like dying that was when I woke up. So unlike my brother’s case which I shared (the longest 24 hours) mine was just a dream!! Good God, it was a dream!! My clothes were soaked despite the Air conditioning and my heart was racing. There beside me, was Nailah sleeping soundly. It was only a dream and boy was I glad that was all it was, a dream. God, then asked me ‘Were you scared Sarah'? Goodness, I was not only scared, but I was also terrified.

So why did God have to terrify me like that you wonder? Here is why:

About 10 years ago, I was looking out of my cousin's window and saw some Muslims saying their prayers as it was Ramadan. I said, “Oh God, see how these people are fasting so diligently (unlike half of your children) and yet, your word has told us that none shall come to the Father except through you.” God, then asked me,” Imagine what would happen if all Christians began to fast as soon as the Ramadan fast begins but this time, they are fasting that I may reveal myself to the Muslims and cause them to know and believe in me”? I said “God, I'm not ready for this, I've not finished praying for myself talk more of doing 30 days for someone else”, (shame on Sese). God didn't say anything after then.

About a year later, I was sharing this thought with a family friend who disciple's Muslim converts and he told me that ' this thing God asked you to do, some people are already doing it'. I felt so bad. I had refused to heed to instruction and God had told someone who would. Despite my remorse, I still didn't bring myself to doing it. I felt bad, but not bad enough to repent and heed to the instructions.

The year was 2017 now, I had just had a miscarriage (a lesson for another day) and the Ramadan fast was about to start. I felt the same urge again to join the fast and pray for my Muslim Family and friends as well as those I do not know. This time around, I told God I would do it. I may not stay till 6 pm but I will pray and fast for my family members, my friends and all who are unbelievers; not only Muslims because I know some Christians in my family who are Christians only by name and some who have backslidden.

I prayed for grace to run my 30 days Ramadan fast and pray for all those I know and those I don't know that God will reveal himself to them. I will do my part and let the Holy Spirit do his because all God needs is a willing heart and people to Intercede and stand in the gap. Sad to say though, that despite my zeal, I forgot and ate on the first day of the fast. I do not think that went well in the heavens because the following day being Sunday I had that scary dream.

The Lesson:

 God told me, the way I felt over my lost daughter, is the way He feels every day concerning His lost children (children lost to sin and unbelievers). He explained to me that my dream was just a representation of it. He wanted me to feel what it feels like to be a parent and your kids gets lost while some of the people closest to you and whom should have your best interest at heart, sit and do nothing about it. So let's look at the key players in my dream:

My mum: She represents the neutral children of God who are lukewarm about soul winning.

Sister S: she was distracted by her issues. In reality, She loves my daughter as though she were her very own, but in the dream, the cares of the world were more important to her than helping me retrieve my daughter. Perhaps, because it wasn't her child, she was not bothered, just the way so many of us are not bothered because we feel we are covered, our siblings are safe, we are not from the north nor have Muslims in our family and so we don't bother! There by forgetting that soul-winning is not a job for one person, it's a job for everyone.

Sister K: she felt my pain just like some of God's children who go about his business of soul-winning every day and seeking ways to redeem and restore the lost back to God. This is a place we all need to get to regardless of if the people are related to us or not.

Sese: I am like God the Father. God is seeking his lost children; He seeks reconciliation and will leave 99 to find any missing one (Mat 18:12). See what he says in 2nd Sam 14:14 " all of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him. Likewise, John 17:12b says ' I guarded them so that no one was lost except the one headed for destruction, as the scriptures foretold.

So ask yourself, ‘have I guarded the people around me well enough to prevent them from eternal damnation?’ I have heard that God does nothing unless men pray. So I encourage you to do something different this year and when the next Ramadan comes, you can fast and join the many others who are praying for the salvation of all men, not just family members and friends. Taking time to pray that God undeniably reveals himself to unbelievers worldwide.

Just in case you are wondering what I did after I woke up from that eye-opening dream, I can tell you this, I didn't miss a day of the fast after that and I took time to send a message to my friends and family (especially the Muslims) about the one way I knew they could be saved. I told them how much I truly love and care about them and shared what the bible tells us is our assurance of getting to heaven and asked them to share what convictions the Quran gives or says about salvation and the steps to obtain it.

I don't ever want to go to a party or have a great experience where the people I love and cherish would not be there. I want them all there with me. I do not know about you, but it would be great to have everyone in heaven with us and it doesn't hurt getting a blessing by the side because the book of Proverbs says ‘he who wins souls is wise' (Pro 11:30), so why not win a soul today?

THE LONGEST 24-HOURS

I am in the boot of a car with two other guys! What can you see? All I can see are trees. Imagine receiving that message from your 16-year- old brother! As if that was not scary enough, the next message to follow almost brought me to my knees in fear of a cardiac arrest. Permit me to backtrack a little so you have a clearer picture of the situation:

My mother and brother were having a little scuffle over his going to the market to finish his school shopping. Being the big sister, I offered to pick him up once he was done noticing how my mom seemed worried about it which was unusual since he usually went to such places without an issue. I told him to simply call once he was done and I would come to get him. Problem solved, everybody is happy at least that was what I thought. I guess it was because I had little knowledge of what had transpired between them and the dreams they had both shared that morning.  Perhaps if I had come in a little sooner, I too would have been apprehensive and not willing to let my brother go anywhere.

We were to take family pictures with my grandmother (my favorite grandparent) since we were all home for the Christmas holiday. Pictures were to be by 4:00 pm and I was excited since I was the queen of pictures. It was an hour to the time for the pictures and my mom was almost blowing my phone with calls and messages asking about my youngest brother if he had come home or called me. She seemed pretty upset and I was like ‘it is just 3:00 pm please calm down'.

I didn't think much about it because he is a very sensible child, usually home before 6:00 pm and would call to let you know his whereabouts if ever he was running late; so I felt my mom was just being overprotective and smothering him since he was the baby of the house. It was not until about 7:00 pm I began to worry. I could not contact him and he was not with any of his friends.

We had just returned from searching for him, when my other brother got a text from him saying he was in the boot of a car with two other guys and all he could see were trees. He had finished his shopping early and decided to just take a cab home. That was the last thing he could remember but that was going to be the start of the longest 24 hours of our lives.

Upon receiving the text, my mom broke down in tears and said ‘God, my child'. Then almost instantly, got up and wiped away her tears. It was at that very moment the reality of the situation hit me. My youngest brother had been abducted. But what we were yet to find out was that he had not been abducted by kidnappers but by ritualists!

Nothing could have ever prepared anyone of us for this type of situation but, my mom had raised us right so we knew where to go and what to do. We began to pray and address it in the only way we knew and that God’s way. We started to praise the only One we knew had the power to change anything and make the impossible possible. I told my mom not to worry, like Peter, my brother would return home (Acts 12:5).

That night was a super long one as we spent it like a vigil. We received the last message from my brother at about midnight stating ‘they have stripped us down and beheaded the two people who were with me, I am the next and I am scared. I have to do away with this phone now because they are coming and I do not want them to see me with it. I never thought this would be how we would part but I love you all'. Goodness, gracious, imagine receiving this from your 16-year-old brother!

By morning, we were at the police station trying to get them to help trace his number since they had refused to attend to his case as a missing person due to the fact he had not been missing for 24 hours. What could keep us going even though he had informed us that he was the next person and the two with him were already dead as well as other people they had met there? It is called FAITH.

Long story short, the call was traced to Abuja (Karu-Nyanya axis). When we heard that, fear gripped my heart while discouragement was waiting to set in. It was at that point, my older sister told us to start calling my brother's name and send him messages affirming our love for him and how we needed him to come home. We kept sending the messages even though we were not receiving any response.

I recall going to the house and seeing so many people inside. When you see that amount of people in any Nigerian house, it is either to celebrate or to commiserate i.e. to sympathize. Everything at that point looked surreal to me. I could not believe what was happening. I remember thinking ‘God why us? We are good people. We try to keep your words, we do as much as we know you asked us to, we pay our tithes and offering, we help. So Father why us'? It almost felt like I was watching a horrible Nigerian movie but it was not a movie. It was real life and my life for that matter.

My dad was a former military officer, I had an uncle in Secret Security Service (SSS) and family friends who were generals but nobody could help us. Nobody but God!! I sent my ex-boyfriend a message because he had a sister in law who was an amazing minister and whose words I believe so much. I asked him to help, explain our situation to her so she could render a prayer for us. He called me back and said she asked him to tell me one thing, ‘Faith and Fear do not coexist'. The moment I received her message, I knew what to do. I needed to kick fear out totally and hold on to the only thing that had the power to change every situation, FAITH!!

I don't know what my other siblings were doing at that point but I went to my mom's room, picked one of my brother’s favorite outfits and then went before God to argue my matter out.

The bible had recorded God raising at least 10 people from the dead and I recall him saying we should seek and we would find, ask and it would be given. I remember God telling me that when we pay our tithes, he will rebuke the devourer on our behalf and that our fruits will not fall before their time. He said we should test him and see I remember him saying ‘He is not a man that he should lie'. He said He honors his words above his name and his words cannot go and come back without doing the work it has been sent to do.

So there I stood before God, reminding Him of all He had said. Everything I had ever read in His words and believed. I stood there telling Him that whether my brother was dead at that point, I didn't care because I knew He could bring him back to life. I had seen it in the bible and so unless the Bible was lying and His words could not be trusted, then, let my brother not come back to us alive. If He could bring Peter back at the point of death, then He could do the same for my brother. I had never done a dry fast in my life but that day, I did it without thinking twice (sometimes we think we cannot do things but if the truth be told, it's simply because nothing has pushed us to do it).

 My friend came into the room and heard me praying and crying. She didn't say a thing but stood there silently agreeing with me and it meant so much to me because my heart was so grieved and I needed someone there who understood what I was doing and not look at me as if I were crazy. I had seen Elisha and Jesus breath life over dead people and so I was going to use my brother's clothes as a representation for what I had seen done in the bible and wait to see if God would fail me on this test or not. If the Bible be true, then let it prove itself. I had put God in a test He could not afford to fail because the Word of God was all I knew and believed.

At about 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm, we heard a scream and commotion at the gate while we were praying and yes, as you can guess, my brother had come home but collapsed on a car in front of the gate. God had come through for us!! We had stood united in faith and were unrelenting despite the circumstance and reality of the situation we had been faced with. Facts are simply realities of a situation but never the truth of a matter. The truth of anything is what God says about the matter. As a family and with the best type of family friends, we had stood our ground in prayer and received our request. Even though he had several cuts on his body, his head was wrapped in a bandage and could not talk, he was alive and that was all that mattered.

I wish I could give you a more detailed account of what had happened but for the purpose of time and space let me give a brief recap: they had used scorpion venom to inject him without knowing that it causes paralysis to the heart and then death. So yes, he had died and was thrown with all the other dead bodies. He said something woke him up as he heard his name being called (remember what my sister said we should do). A voice then told him to get up and run. The bible says you shall hear a voice saying here is the way, walk ye in it and that was how it was.

He ran and they ran after him (It's a good time to note that my brother has always been a long-distance runner and so God had prepared him for that day because he had seen it coming. Nothing takes God by surprise). A man appeared in the forest amid the chase. Upon his presence; the others chasing him ran away. It seemed that man had superior powers. The man saw my brother unconscious from the loss of blood due to the cuts and exhaustion. He bound him in the bandages and brought him to Maraban Jos (the main entrance of Jos). He dropped him there and left. My brother looked to say thank you but he saw neither man nor car.

Was he an angel or something else? I cannot say but I can say this ‘God is mindful of us and always looking over His words to perform it. No matter how impossible a situation looks, remember it is never difficult for God because His Hands are not unable to save. God wants us to exercise faith and take dominion of all He has given us and put under our charge.

I do not know what thing has come before you that you want to cave in and give up on but dear people, if the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is the same spirit that lives in us (Rom 8:11); then we have a powerful spirit that can command every principality, demon, and its likes (Eph 1:21-23).

As for my brother, he is about done with his National Youth Service. He is doing brilliant and is the one addition in our lives we are not willing to make do without. I love him so much and cannot picture a life that he would not have been in it.

Every time I see him, I see the power of prayer and faith. Nothing has dared my faith as much as that and so no matter what I see, I know that when we stand united in faith, prayer and the Word of God, we can overcome it.

So as the year runs out, I charge you to believe the Word of God and refuse Fear. In the words of one of my favorite pastors, Pastor Jemima Mbaya ‘Fear and Faith cannot co-exist'! Pick one today and address that thing that is trying to address you through the word of God!! Open your mouth and speak what you want to see.