Parenting by Blueprint: Not by Pressure

 A few weeks ago, I walked into a colleague’s office, and our chat naturally drifted to parenting and school decisions. She mentioned how her son had recently taken the common entrance exam into secondary school—not because he was due for it, but as a mock trial.

To her surprise, he did well, and now people around her were suggesting that she allow him to move ahead to JSS1 (7th grade), even though he was just ten. “He’s bigger than most kids his age,” they argued. “He’s mature for his age.” She was torn—and I could relate.

That conversation reminded me of something personal. I told her about a call I’d received just weeks before from my mom. As is her custom, my mom had spent the day praying for her grandchildren, but this time, she focused specifically on Nailah and the high school she would attend. Nailah would soon be turning ten, and my mom felt it was time to pray intentionally.

As she shared some of the schools on her heart—some we’d discussed, others I hadn’t even considered—I realized I had become relaxed in that area of prayer. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I had prayed about Nailah’s education for years. In fact, I’ve prayed about her future since the day she was born—teachers, classmates, friends, even her future in-laws.

But in that moment, God gently nudged me through my mom. Don’t become complacent, He reminded me. Keep praying intentionally.

That’s when I shared a deeply personal story with my colleague. One that had shaped how I see God’s plans and how I steward what He gives me.

Growing up, my mom discovered a Christian school in Jos—Bethany Academy. It was everything I wanted. Small class sizes. Hot meals. Hot water baths. Balance. Soft life. When she showed me, I fell in love instantly. My dad promised me that if I passed the entrance exam, he’d send me there.

I worked hard and passed all seven entrance exams I sat for, including Bethany’s. At one interview, I honestly told them I had passed multiple exams but preferred Bethany Academy. Even though I was the second-best candidate they had interviewed, another school placed me on a waiting list—just because I wasn’t enthusiastic about attending them.

I was overjoyed when Bethany offered me admission. But then, tragedy struck. During the Abacha regime, my dad was imprisoned over a false coup. With him gone, no one could pay my fees. My mom had just started working, and her salary could barely cover even half of Bethany’s fees.

My aunt Rahila (of blessed memory) offered to pay, but my mom, thinking long term, declined. She didn’t want to risk pulling me out halfway if my aunt couldn’t keep up. I was devastated—angry at my mom, angrier at God. Why show me a dream and help me pass, only to shut the door?

I ended up at Baptist High School— my personal hell—and I was determined to escape.
I pulled every dramatic stunt imaginable—even some not in the books.
Fake spiritual attacks? Check.
Threatening letters to myself in a different handwriting? Done.
Anything to convince my mom to set me free.

She never budged. Every plea—tears, financial logic (“Send me to SLOGA, it’s cheaper!”), even a sudden hike in school fees that I thought would be my escape route—met a brick wall.

Then came Uncle Abba Kyari (The late Chief of Staff, RIP). My dad’s old high school friend stepped in and paid the school fees for all of us until I graduated. Just like that, my last loophole vanished. I had no choice but to stay.

And then came the final blow from my mother:
“Before I put you in that school, I prayed. God said that’s where you should be. So if you’re going to die, you’ll die there. I’ve sacrificed you like Isaac.”

Game over. I surrendered. Quietly. Waiting for my sweet, soft-hearted dad to return and rescue me—because if anyone would understand me, it would be him—because he was the soft one, the pushover. My mom? The disciplinarian.

During this time, my mom told my dad that I needed serious prayers because of all the ‘spiritual attacks’ she believed I was facing. His response: “Don’t bother, she’s fine. What she’s displaying is psychological. She just hates the school and is doing whatever she can to get out.” When I heard that, my heart skipped a beat. This man had seen right through me. But I was also comforted—my father understood me better than I had given him credit for

When my father was eventually released, I thought, “Now, I’ll finally leave.” But he looked at me and said I was going nowhere.
I surrendered. I stopped fighting and endured.

Years later, I now see the bigger picture. That school grounded me. I met people who shaped me. I grew spiritually in ways I wouldn’t have in a more permissive environment. God had known what I needed—better than I did.

I then told my colleague about my BSF leader’s son. Like me, her son had passed his entrance exams, and she needed to choose between two schools. Each required a non-refundable deposit, and she could only afford one.

Realizing time was running out and she hadn’t prayed properly, she spent the night in prayer, asking God for direction. In response, God gave her a dream.

She saw her son graduating from one of the schools but noticed a dent on his face. She asked him what had happened, and he replied, “It was because of the school you sent me to.”

The dream revealed that although he would make it through, something would dent his life—bad friends, bad habits, or negative influences. She woke up, thanked God for the warning, and enrolled him in the other school immediately.

What a powerful reminder that one decision can shape the course of a life. One wrong influence can change everything. Just one voice. One friend. One piece of bad advice.

That reminded me of Farouk Abdulmutallab—the young Nigerian who tried to bomb a plane. He had originally been seeking spiritual growth in Islam but crossed paths with the wrong guide. What if he had met the right mentor instead?

That’s why my prayers for my children go beyond school admissions. I pray that God Himself will:

- Reveal their blueprint to us, like He did with Samson’s parents.
- Make His voice real to them, like He did with Samuel.
- Protect their destinies from derailment, like Joash’s was—because the godly uncle who guided him died and he fell under bad counsel.
- Place the right people on their paths, because Naaman was healed only because his servants convinced him to listen to Elisha.
- Shield them from evil influences, because Abdulmutalab just needed the right person to redirect his genuine search.

And I pray this with holy fear and with hope because even the best builders can construct something utterly misaligned—if they never consult the Architect’s blueprint. Without God’s design, we risk making decisions—especially for our children—that look successful on the outside but may ultimately fall short of His purpose. That’s why we must ask Him for His plan and build according to His vision, not ours.

An architect designs for the Owner—and in our lives, God is both. He holds the vision and the deed to every life He creates, including the children He entrusts to us. As parents, we’re the builders, not the designers. Our job isn’t to improvise, but to seek His plan—then build with confidence, knowing the outcome will fulfill His purpose.

As the Bible reminds us:
'For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.’ (Jeremiah 29:11

That conversation in my colleague’s office settled it for me: parenting is not passive. It’s an act of stewardship—and stewards don’t move unless they know the Master’s plan.
So I pray constantly—for the blueprint, for wisdom, for divine voices, and for the courage to follow God’s path, even when it’s nothing like I imagined.

And when you see my mom, please thank her—for standing her ground and being the faithful steward God ordained her to be. May we all learn to trust the Architect like she did.

Doing it Wrong!

Toward the end of last year, I began to feel a gentle but persistent prompting from the Holy Spirit: “Worship Me more.” So, I leaned in. I started playing more praise and worship music, singing as often as I could—on my way to work, at home, whenever I had a free moment. It became my rhythm and heartbeat in that season.

About a month in, I had a dream.

In the dream, I saw a group of people watching something on television with intense focus. Curious, I stopped to see what had captured their attention. It was a preacher, and he looked exactly like Apostle Michael Orokpo—one of my personal favorites. As I watched, he leaned closer to the screen and looked straight at me:

“You—why are you not doing what God asked you to do?”

Shocked, I replied, “Hian! (Nigerian exclamation for goodness) What has God asked me to do that I haven’t done? Except I didn’t hear Him or I misunderstood, but if I hear God clearly, I obey! The only instruction I know He gave me was to worship Him—and I’ve been doing my best!”

He didn’t argue. He simply repeated: “Go and do what God has asked you to do.”

I woke up, disturbed. It was Sunday morning, and the dream deeply unsettled me. I know how my dreams speak to me, and this one was vivid—too direct to ignore.

At church that day, the sermon was—guess what? —about worship and praise, as we were preparing for our end-of-year Thanksgiving. I listened even more intently, wondering what God was trying to tell me.

After the service, I talked with my friend Boma and her husband. I shared the dream and how it bothered me, how I was unsure what I was missing or doing wrong. I was flying out for a training later that day, and I told them, “You know what? While I’m away and alone, I’ll spend even more time in worship.”

And I did. I worshipped with sincerity. During the Thanksgiving service, I joined online and gave my best dance moves. But even then, deep in my spirit, something still felt off. Incomplete. Like I was obeying—but not quite hitting the mark.

When I returned home, the sermons kept pointing in the same direction—worship and praise. Even in the new year, during our fasting and prayer period, Saturdays were specifically dedicated to worship. I stayed committed. But the question lingered: “God, what am I missing?”

That’s when I began asking deeper questions about what worship really is.

One day at work, I had a chat with a young contractor helping us renovate the office. We started talking about God, and he shared that worship was his greatest strength. I lit up and said, “Ah! I need help with that. I’m doing what I believe is worship, but something doesn’t feel right.” We talked for a while, but I still didn’t walk away with a clear answer. I was still searching.

Then came Monday—Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). It’s one of my favorite parts of the week. We’d been studying the Book of Revelation since the previous year, and that particular day we were in Revelation 13.

And then, it happened.

As we read verse 12, the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks:

“He exercised all the authority of the first beast. And he required all the earth and its people to worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed.”

Right there, the lightbulb went on.

Worship wasn’t just about singing or dancing. It was about what I was giving my full attention, allegiance, and heart to.

And suddenly, I saw it clearly:
I had been bowing—unconsciously—to things that weren’t God.
Anxiety over delays.
Worry about not making mistakes.
Concern over the kids.
Stress about the property and whether we’d get it.

Yes, I thought I was looking to God, but my heart posture was tilted toward fear and control. I was worshipping my worries—showering them with attention and energy. And God didn’t like that.

Then the Holy Spirit took it deeper and gave me this analogy:

“Imagine you’ve dressed up beautifully to attend an event with your husband. But when you arrive, he showers all his attention on another woman—someone you know you outshine in every way. You’d be hurt, right? Now imagine he even seeks her help or advice in areas where you’re clearly more experienced. You’d be thinking, ‘What in the world is going on?’

Now flip the script. What if it were your wife (question for guys) giving another man all her attention—one who’s always competed with you for no reason—and she’s full of admiration and praise for him all evening, barely looking your way? How would that feel?”

I laughed, but I got the message.

That’s exactly how God feels when we give our affection, focus, and trust to other things—especially things that have nothing to offer us—while He, the source of everything we need, waits for our gaze.

That’s why Scripture says in Isaiah 42:8:

“I am the Lord, that is my name! I will not give my glory to anyone else, nor share my praise with carved idols.”

And that’s why the first two commandments are so clear (Exodus 20:3–5):

“You shall have no other gods before me… You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…”

By the time God was done with me, I understood exactly what He meant when He said, “Worship Me.”

It wasn’t about the songs or the music. It was about my heart. My attention. My focus. My surrender.

He wanted to be my priority, not my background soundtrack.

That’s why He says in Matthew 6:33:

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

God doesn’t want to be second to anything—not even good things like family, work, a hobby, or ministry. I don’t like it when my husband gives more attention to anything else at the expense of our relationship. And God, as our divine Lover, feels the same. He created those emotions in us—they’re part of His nature too.

So now, when I say I’m worshipping, it’s not just with my voice—it’s with my eyes, my mind, my trust, and my time.

Have a worship-filled April. Make God your focus. Your first. Your everything. 💛

Who's your Guy?

 It was Friday morning, and for some reason, I happened to wake up early that day. My neighbor and I had finished chatting about a mutual friend when I turned to leave, and she asked me if I knew any “ill people.” I was a bit confused, and she immediately picked up on it and explained that a Christian club she belonged to was organizing an outreach. The guest speaker had the gift of healing, so they were asked to invite and bring as many ill people as they could find so they could be prayed for.

This caught my attention as she seemed so sure of herself and the guest speaker. Even though I believed Jesus heals people, I had never witnessed someone truly heal people. Many of the ones I saw on TV or elsewhere seemed to be a fluke, so I was skeptical. Being a doubting Thomas (don’t blame me, Nija has used my eyes to see things!), I decided to ask who this “healing minister” was. She brought out a flyer to show me. As soon as I saw his name, I remembered all the stories I had heard about him and told her I would try to come with someone.

The guest speaker was a military-personnel. I recalled my ex-boyfriend saying he was his mentor and another family friend who was in the military telling me of healing miracles he witnessed the man perform when they had gone on peacekeeping missions. Additionally, his wife was a childhood friend.

We had just finished our lectures for the week when I saw Adesua and remembered the invite I was given to the program and the need to bring an ill person. Adesua fit that description, as my friend seemed to be suffering from different health challenges over the years. What was most worrisome was that it would only start at the beginning of the school session, and she would get better a few weeks before exams. I knew it was straight from hell, as her case seemed to defy normal medical explanations, and almost every test conducted on her was negative. It seemed as if the illness came to limit her; else how does one explain that it was periodic and targeted to affect her studies and progress? If she missed the whole term, she would not meet up with exams. We were fortunate that most times, she was around for tests.

As we were leaving the department that day, I quickly asked her what plans she had for the weekend and gave her the invite. She said she would try to come as I shared so many testimonies about the guest speaker.

The program had started, and I didn’t see Adesua from where I sat, as the number of students on the court was overwhelming. The guest speaker preached and started praying for people. He was moving through the crowd, laying hands, calling people out, and so many seemed to be receiving instant miracles. I looked up and noticed Adesua somewhere in the crowd praying. The man would move close to her and then move away. My heart was breaking as I was sure this was the moment we had been waiting for. I started praying and whining to God to behave and make sure the speaker touched her, as I had often invited her to church programs, and for some reason, the whole program, which usually was interesting, would flop. I was even more upset when he came and called my cousin, myself, and some others out for prayers as he said God had asked him to pray for us about some things He wanted us to do in the future. Even my cousin, who had slight malaria, became instantly healed after the prayers and this infuriated me so much. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy my cousin was well but her illness was a “minor thing” in comparison to Adesua’s own. All I truly wanted was for God to heal my friend and let this one program I invited her to be worth it. In the midst of all this, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit say to me, “Remember the story of the paralytic!” This made me even more furious as I kept asking Him who was directing the guest speaker to the other people in need of healing. Me, I wasn’t going to do it. If He would heal her, He should do it the way He had been doing for others by sending the guest speaker their way. The Holy Spirit and I kept at this till the meeting ended, as I was resolute in my stance.

The meeting ended with many testimonies and an invitation to attend the grand finale, which would be held the following night. Because of what had happened, I told myself I wouldn't be attending. Still, just so my conscience would be at rest, I decided to ask Adesua if she would be in attendance, to which she said no as she had prior engagements and had been invited to a party.

Unlike my usual self, I didn’t apply any pressure nor try to persuade her because I didn’t blame her. I blamed God because if He had shown up the way He was supposed to, she would have believed and would have attended the program the next day.

As if that wasn’t enough, just as I was about to leave, I saw a guy who often led worship at my church and always seemed to annoy me. I felt he was a bit arrogant and completely overrated, as people often related his voice to that of Fred Hammond, which, in my opinion, was not even close. For some reason, it felt as if the Devil was just bent on messing with me that night.

He approached me and asked what I thought about the program. He was so excited about it, unlike me. Being that I was overwhelmed with emotions, I told him I didn’t share in his excitement as the one prayer request I came with was not answered. He kept quiet and then asked me if I had ever read the story of the paralytic. That did it; God was pushing it this time. As soon as he said it, I almost flared up and told him God had been laying the same thing in my heart, but I was not going to do it. I laid my arguments before him and told him the same thing I had told God a few minutes prior. He then suggested that perhaps I consider telling the wife of the guest speaker, who was my childhood friend, the issue so she could ask her husband to pray for Adesua. Again, I rejected this as I felt that doing such would make the miracle less potent. Besides, none of the other people who received their healings had to go through a friend or approach the speaker directly, so that would be me helping God.

All out of options, he let it be, and we just started talking about other random things, I was impressed at how honest the guy was and how he had a really good relationship with God. I hadn’t met so many guys at that age who seemed so in tune with God. In retrospect, it seemed God planted him there that day for my sake because, from that day, he became one of my closest, most trusted, and cherished friends (another story brewing).

The day of the grand finale came, and I watched students flood the arena as I made my way to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday. I had barely settled in and was about to take my first bite when I received a weird message from my supervisor. His message freaked me out so much, that I dropped my food and decided to head straight for the grand finale as I figured that God was clearly upset with me for defying His instructions the previous day and was allowing the devil to wreak havoc in my life, hence the message from my supervisor.

While begging and pleading with God to have mercy on me and forgive my shortcomings, I decided it would be wise to pass by Adesua’s room and see if I could make amends for the previous day by persuading her to attend the program with me so she would serve as my atonement lamb. I called out to her room, and I got a swift reply that she had gone out for a party. I figured she had made good on her words. It seemed I was on my own. With no atonement lamb, I made my way straight for the program while begging for mercy all through the journey.

Being that the place was packed full, I barely got a seat at the back, but it was a strategic point as I could see a clear view of people on the other row. While prayers commenced, I looked up to see the speaker, and to my greatest amazement, there stood Adesua a few rows ahead of me, praying fervently. I had never seen someone pray with so much passion, and it hurt so much to watch the speaker get super close to her, touch people, and then walk past her. I kept my hopes up, but they kept getting dashed. Every time he got so close to her, he would touch every other person except her and walk away.

At this point, tears had gathered in my eyes as I felt helpless to help my friend. I immediately stopped praying for myself and the issue that brought me and simply began to beg God to have mercy on my friend. I told Him, that I knew I came with my issue, but, if He had to pick just one prayer to answer, He should forget mine and simply answer hers.

I watched the scene repeat itself continuously until finally, the coordinator called out for the final testimonies as they were getting ready to conclude the program. A long queue formed with different people sharing all the healings they had experienced that day.

As I watched the scene unfold, it finally dawned on me that God was not going to heal Adesua in the manner I wanted, so I decided to be obedient and “remember the paralytic!” There I was, in line, the last testifier.

As soon as I got there, I narrated my story to them and what God had asked me to do. The guest speaker was stunned. While I waited for some kind of retribution or whatever would follow my outburst and story, the speaker lovingly looked at me and asked if Adesua was still there. I said she was, and he asked her to come out. He then instructed the whole crowd to which many obediently did.

Finally, I realized what God wanted. He needed me to not only learn to obey Him promptly but to realize that His ways are truly not my ways nor His thoughts mine. I may never truly be able to explain or know why God wanted Adesua to be prayed for in that manner, but from that date till today, she has never had that episode again. Perhaps it is because He knew that Adesua’s case may have needed a corporate anointing to finally break the hold of the devil over her health.

So, what’s the lesson in all this, apart from the need to be obedient and sensitive to the instructions of the Holy Spirit? Well, here are a few others:

1.      Don't Dictate to God: Too often, we want to dictate and tell God the way and manner in which He should bring to fruition the things we are asking for. We often feel that if He did it one way before, it must always be that way. Ever notice that Jesus healed about three people of blindness in the Gospels, and He did it in three different ways? With one, He only said the word; with another, He touched his eyes twice; and yet with another, He mixed His saliva with mud and touched the eyes of the blind person (my least favorite method). The three men all received their sight without Jesus having to use the same methods, and none of them complained about the process! So, always focus on your end goal without comparing the process He wants to take you through with that of others. I lost focus of this while insisting that God heals Adesua in the way I saw Him do for others.

2.      Surround Yourself with Faithful Friends: I don’t know if the paralytic man had faith on his own, but his friends certainly did. They went to extraordinary lengths to ensure He saw Jesus. Despite all the obstacles, they found a way. That’s why the Bible records in Luke 5:18-20 that 'Jesus saw their faith!' This beautifully highlights the unwavering determination of the paralytic’s friends. Their relentless effort to get him to Jesus shows their deep belief that this was the only way their friend could be healed. In Like manner, surround yourself with friends like these—those who will go the distance for you, no matter what, especially when your own faith can't carry you.

3. Learn from Jesus: Never underestimate or demean the profound importance of having friends. Jesus, the Son of God, walked this earth with a divine connection to His Father, yet He also cherished the companionship of true friends. Among the twelve, He selected three as His closest confidants, whom He could rely on in times of overwhelming uncertainty. If the Son of God valued friendship so deeply, my beloved, who among us can claim to be wiser?

Food for Thought: So ask yourself, if something happened to you today, would the friends you have around you right now show up? Are they people who know that only Jesus has the true answers and solutions to all of life’s challenges? How far are they willing to go to bring you to Jesus? Are they ready to intercede on your behalf and refuse to give up on you or your situation until something happens?

If your answer is no, then I suggest you begin to ask God to re-direct your steps and change your circle of friends, but also remember that before you make good friends, you also need to invest in being a good friend.

Adesua the Cheat

In my previous post, I began exploring the profound impact of friendship, and today I'm here to fulfill my promise of sharing more of that journey.

It was midway through my second year (second year) at university when I forged a new friendship that proved pivotal. Both of us had struggled with similar courses in our first year (100 level), leading to a shared experience of academic setbacks. Little did I know that this encounter would not only change my approach to exams but also challenge my perceptions of others.

Let me introduce you to Adesua (if you know, you know). I had noticed Adesua during a test in our first academic year when some acquaintances pointed her out to me. She often submitted her test and exam papers quickly, leading me to believe she must be exceptionally smart. However, when I mentioned this to some classmates, they laughed it off and attributed her speed, and that of another, to their access to leaked exam questions. I felt disappointed, as I had been taught never to cheat and preferred to rely on my knowledge during exams. I believed in passing or failing with honor. Besides, Adesua was so pretty that I hoped her beauty would match her brains. However, I soon discovered that first impressions can be misleading.

One evening, on the night before a crucial exam, Adesua and I happened to meet in the same class to study. I had studied diligently and felt prepared for the carry-over papers until she approached me for help with past questions. Adesua explained that she had been ill for a while and could not prepare for the upcoming papers. She wanted my help to answer a few questions from a bunch of past question papers she had gathered, as there was very little time left to prepare. I empathized with her and wondered how she would cover so much material within the few hours left before the exam. I was also confused because of the initial rumors I had heard about her. If all I had heard about her was true, how did she still manage to fail these papers? Empathy replaced skepticism, and I agreed to assist and look through the questions to help her. Besides, it was never in my blood not to help someone with whatever knowledge I possessed that might be beneficial.

Little did I realize that would be my saving grace because, to my surprise, reviewing those questions revealed my lack of preparedness. Unlike Adesua, I had relied solely on textbooks and notes, ignorant of the importance of past papers at our university. Grateful for her timely intervention, I admitted my shortcomings and asked her to share the answers to the questions if she found them, which she graciously did.

She was hesitant about the papers, but I assured her that God would show her mercy, knowing that her inability to study was due to illness, not intentional negligence. As fate would have it, many of the questions we reviewed appeared in the exam the following day, leading to a favorable outcome for both of us. I was immensely grateful.

The incident opened my eyes to the fact that this girl seemed to carry favor, and God was blessing her and choosing to show her mercy. Immediately, I recognized this, and I wanted to meet her again to study with her and key into the grace upon her at that time. Because we were not close friends, I didn’t have her contact information or any means to find her to even say thank you.

The next day, we coincidentally met again at the same study venue (though I don't believe in coincidences; I believe that God orders our steps, even when we don't realize it). Another paper was coming up, and the same scenario unfolded with her having multiple question papers and my inability to answer most of them. Once again, we wrote the exam, and the same fortunate outcome occurred.

Now, I had one final paper left to write, and somehow, Adesua had already passed that one. I was a bit anxious, but as my nerves were getting to me, I mentioned it to her. She laughed and reassured me not to worry, saying that God would help me with that paper, and indeed He did.

It is safe to say that this unexpected success marked the beginning of a unique friendship founded on mutual support and understanding.

One day, I shared what I had heard about her in our first year, and she laughed uproariously. Through our discussions, I learned that Adesua's apparent aloofness during exams was a strategic choice to avoid cheating. She revealed that whenever she didn't know the answers, she simply finished and submitted quickly, rather than waste time or ask others for help, preferring to fail honorably. I realized that many things I had heard about her were lies, and we shared many values.

Beyond academic success, this experience taught me the importance of discernment. Rumors and first impressions often obscure the truth about others. Adesua's integrity and determination shattered stereotypes, revealing a kindred spirit with shared values.

So what does this have to do with friendship besides encouraging you not to cheat and to learn to know people before you judge them or believe what others say about them? Well, while reflecting on my journey with Adesua, I'm reminded of a biblical parallel involving Joseph, Potiphar, Jacob, and Laban.

Potiphar was a smart man. He was observant enough to realize that everything Joseph did blessed him. He recognized the anointing and gift of Joseph and prospered by leveraging them wisely, making him a very wealthy man. Unlike Joseph's uncle Laban, who was jealous of Joseph's father’s (Jacob’s) prosperity and antagonized him until he fled with his blessings and anointing, leading to his (Laban’s) "downfall,"

Similarly, like Potiphar, the Holy Spirit’s grace helped me recognize Adesua's unique abilities, enriching me by first helping me pass my papers and later helping me foster a friendship rooted in authenticity and mutual growth by giving me a friend who is more like family to me now.

Too often, we observe others who possess special gifts or anointing. Instead of drawing closer and finding a way to benefit from that blessing, we waste time being jealous, angry, or trying to compete with them, ultimately missing out on the opportunity to tap into the grace in their lives.

If you recognize a blessing in someone, like Potiphar and Pharaoh did with Joseph, use it to your advantage. Joseph's anointing brought wealth to both of them, while my friend Adesua was the answer to my prayers of not repeating and a vital player in my life’s success story.

God will send blessings your way to answer the prayers you've earnestly prayed for. But when he does, be wise and seize the opportunity. Don't let jealousy, rivalry, or the need to compete distract you from the target.

In closing, I invite you to reconsider your perceptions of others. Genuine connections often defy expectations and offer invaluable lessons. Look forward to my next blog post, where Adesua and I will continue our story, illustrating the enduring power of friendship.

Friends

 

This year, I started sharing short stories about God's remarkable ability to teleport things, along with some experiences I had at school. If you missed them, you can catch up on Instagram @azintiya. In one story, I spoke about my final year at the university, a year filled with faith-building and the seemingly impossible.

Let me share more stories, but this time, I hope they guide you in choosing friends and highlight the power of having the right support system.

Due to carryovers in my first year, there were subjects I couldn't take until I passed them. However, in the final year, you usually get some grace to carry pending papers to enable you to graduate with your peers. That was usually the norm, but for some reason, in my final year, things were about to get heated up in the Biochemistry Department.

Since "Nothing is easier to bring a group of people together than a common enemy," I and a few classmates who, like me, had pending papers formed a prayer group. They were serious Christians, and we met weekly to pray about our academic challenges. Our group was a combination of the most unlikely, but we were united in purpose and prayers.

I had just finished my industrial training and was getting ready to go back to school for the first semester when one of the group members called to inform me of a sudden change in the department. The acting Head of Department (HOD) was not allowing students to carry 400L courses without passing their 300L counterparts. She told me that some students had gotten it signed while he rejected that of some, so it was a 50/50, and for her, it was not signed. This was a departure from the norm. Panic set in as my heart dreaded the possibility of being a "spillover student."

After our conversation, I sat on my bed and prayed. I told God to please go ahead of me, and if he knew I would graduate that year, he should grant me favor so they would sign the course for me. But if he knew the case would not be so, he should not allow my hopes to be raised and dashed, so he should make them not sign.

While deep in thought, the Holy Spirit reminded me of some of the things a pastor shared with us at Winners Chapel where I followed my older sister and uncle for the Crossover Service (1st January 2006). The pastor, a funny but fiery Yoruba man, had spoken about faith and God’s ability to do the impossible and told us that that year, we would not fail. He said, “Even if you write jaga jaga” in an exam, you won't fail. I am not advising you not to study hard and prepare for your exams, but I need you to know that your ability to pass or fail that year will not be dependent on your level of brilliance and academic prowess. He even declared, “For every student here, no carryovers this year!” and shared some serious testimonies from the lives of his kids, which encouraged me greatly so I was convinced that if God could do it for him, he would do it for me. I listened to him from across the room, and he said it with such confidence that I believed him. Besides, by then, God had already used a pastor at Mountain of Faith to teach me to believe in God’s true prophets.

So that year, I was determined to hold on to the words of that pastor with all my might, and I backed it up with the scripture that says, “Believe in God that you may be established and in his prophets that you would prosper.” If he was a true man of God and God had told him to say what he did, then it would come to pass, and I would not fail anything that year. Little did I know the test of that faith was imminent.

Upon resumption, I prayed for favor and asked that God would order my feet aright as I was told the acting HOD was not around, but another lecturer had been assigned to the task. I went to his office and presented my courses while preparing my heart for the outcome and declaring what the pastor had told us. Surprisingly, he signed everything for me. I was so happy as I left his office. Little did I know that my joy would be short-lived as I later discovered my prayer group friends did not get their courses signed.

Eventually, time went by, and exams were fast approaching. One of the papers that wasn’t signed for the others was coming up, and I didn’t even know how to ask them to pray for me without seeming insensitive as I kept considering how I would feel if they had signed for the others and not myself.

They seemed to sense my burden and offered to pray as one of them said, “Serah, don’t you have a paper to write tomorrow?” I shyly said yes, and they began to pray fervently for me. I was amazed at their thoughtfulness and sincerity. At one point, I could not even pray as I felt overwhelmed with emotions and their support, so I just kept staring at them. I could not comprehend how they could do this for me despite their unmet expectations concerning that course, but that was one of the ways God taught me spiritual maturity.

After prayers, I went to class to attend to something when I ran into some of my classmates who, like me, were lucky to get their course forms signed despite the complications in the department. We started discussing preparations for the exam when they began to advise me not to bother reading anymore as some other classmates who were unable to get the necessary approval to write their pending papers had gone to confront our acting HOD about the issue and proposed that we should not be allowed to sit for the exam. When I heard this, my heart sank. They told me our HOD said that they shouldn’t bother about us because even if we sat for the exams, the papers would not be marked. I then asked them for the way forward, and they told me that they would not bother reading or coming for the exams the next day and advised me to do the same. Being that I was acquainted with them and we were friendly in class, I believed them and took the matter to heart.

I went to my room and cried before God, asking him to intervene in my situation. I reminded him of the prayer request I had tabled before him to please not get my hopes up if I wouldn’t be allowed to graduate that year. After I had prayed and cried, I decided to call one of my most trusted friends, Mulan. When she got to my room, I began to cry while giving her a detailed narration of what I had been told. My friend looked at me and told me not to worry. She shared a testimony about how her mom and a friend of hers had faced a similar situation when they were in university but to the surprise and amazement of classmates who had thought they wouldn't participate in their convocation, they saw them wearing their gowns and receiving their certificates. Her testimony gave me hope (please never miss an opportunity to share your testimony with someone; the bible is not lying when it says it's one of the things that help us overcome the devil), but goodness, this was ABU we were talking about, and the Biochemistry department was something else (if you know, you know).

While I was fighting doubt and trying to encourage myself with her words and testimony, she then burst out laughing and said with certainty, “Don’t believe those people, prepare for your exam and go and write it tomorrow. Which student in our department do you think can have the courage to go and face the Acting HOD and even give ultimatums?” We prayed together, and she left. I struggled to read that night because the devil kept trying to sow seeds of doubt in my heart, telling me I was wasting my time.

The following day, I went to the hall ready for anything. My greatest surprise came when I entered the exam hall, and behold, the very classmates who had told me not to bother coming for the exams were seated in the hall waiting for papers to be shared! My surprise was palpable. We wrote the exams seamlessly.

I left the exam hall thanking God for Mulan, who had encouraged me to go and sit for the exam. I don’t even want to imagine how angry and upset I would have been if I hadn’t gone, only to later find out that the exam held seamlessly and my faithful advisers who told me they would not bother coming for the exam had gone to write. Chai!! I would have been extremely upset and disappointed with myself.

That day, I learned four valuable lessons:

1.      The importance of a robust support system and aligning with individuals who share your faith cannot be overstated; they are pivotal in shaping a person's life.

2.      Surround yourself with individuals who genuinely care about you, enough to pray for your well-being even if they are yet to receive the very blessings they are seeking on your behalf.

3.      Appearances can be deceiving; not everyone who wears a smile and is pleasant necessarily harbors genuine affection for you or has your best interests at heart.

4.      Embrace the mindset of 'always try.' While the possibility of not achieving the expected outcome exists, the worst-case scenario is merely falling short. On the flip side, there is also the potential for success, but you'll never uncover it if you refrain from attempting it.

It's truly remarkable that Solomon, known as the wisest and richest man to have ever lived, emphasizes in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Moreover, Proverbs 17:17a wisely states, "A friend loves at all times!"

I find it disheartening to hear people express sentiments like, "I don't need friends; I'm good all by myself," as they might be missing out on life's richness. While acknowledging that some have been hurt by friends and had unpleasant experiences, it's important to recognize that there are genuinely kind people eager to love, pray, and stand by your side.

I speak from personal experience, having incredible friends who have evolved from companionship to become chosen family. Our bond is founded on choice and love, surpassing the ties of blood, making them some of my best and most cherished assets.

For those who may still doubt the importance of having friends, we'll explore this topic further in my next blog. Perhaps my next story will help shift your thinking a bit. Looking forward to our next meeting.

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Kin and Kingdoms

 As Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) resumed for the year, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia from my high school days when I was first introduced to the challenging topic of the kings in the Bible. I recalled when Reverend Atherton, our Bible Teacher, would take so much time trying to teach us about the different kings and their timelines. The multitude of similar-sounding names and complex timelines made it a daunting subject; knowing I would be tested on the subject matter made it even less appealing. Add this to the boring, tedious life of a Baptist High School student, and you would totally get my plight.

So there I was, about 20-something years later, faced with this “boring book.” As we delved into the study of the books of Kings and the Minor Prophets, I wondered how I would make it to the end. While I could manage the Kings, the thought of the Minor Prophets initially left me a bit flustered, even though I had breezed through many of them years ago. It was, however, not something I was particularly looking forward to. Nevertheless, I embarked on this journey with an open mind, eager to discover what new insights God might reveal to me.

Anyway, we began the study, and I was just wondering what new thing God would teach me or use to catch my fancy. I couldn't have anticipated that this seemingly “dry” topic would hold valuable life lessons, some of which I'd like to share with you today.

One of the first revelations that caught my attention was the interrelation between the books of Kings and Chronicles. It struck me that one provided a more detailed account of the other, shedding light on the complexity of these narratives.

But the real surprise came when I realized that the Book of Kings offered lessons on marriage, choosing the right life partner, and parenting. In case you are in doubt, just keep reading and see for yourself.

2nd Kings 8:18 states, “But Jehoram followed the example of the kings of Israel and was as wicked as King Ahab, for he had married one of Ahab’s daughters. So Jehoram did what was evil in the Lord’s sight.” And 2nd Kings 8:26-27: “Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem one year. His mother was Athaliah, a granddaughter of King Omri of Israel. Ahaziah followed the evil example of King Ahab’s family. He did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, just as Ahab’s family had done, for he was related by marriage to the family of Ahab.”

If by reading these two pieces of scripture you haven’t caught on, then hopefully my highlights did a good job of getting your attention. Jehoram and Ahaziah were said to have followed the examples of the kings of Israel and had done evil in the sight of God, and the main reason given was the fact that they were related by marriage to Ahab’s family or had married one of Ahab’s daughters.

This opened my eyes to the profound impact that entering the wrong family through marriage can have on one's life. Hence, it prompted me to consider how critical it is to be cautious when choosing a life partner, to study their family background, and to be aware of what you're getting into. In fact, family background is one of the first things we discuss in Premarital counseling because a lot of who we are and what we do or will do is influenced by the home and environment we grew up in.

When I saw this while working on my study outline, I was amazed. I had never given much thought to how entering into the “wrong” family through marriage can make or break a human, but there it was, staring right in front of me as it is to you.

While reading that chapter, I heard God say, you need to be careful what you bind yourself to. Study the families and be clear about what you are getting yourself into.

As I continued reading, I stumbled upon another profound lesson in 2nd Kings 11 and 2nd Chronicles 22. Remember I told you that the books of Chronicles and Kings are the same, just that one is the more detailed version of the other; well, now you’ll see it for yourself.

2nd Kings 11:1-3 states, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of the royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom, and they hid him from Athaliah, so the child was not murdered…”

While 2nd Chronicles 22:10 explains it as, “When Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah of Judah, learned that her son was dead, she began to destroy the rest of Judah’s royal family. But Ahaziah’s sister Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram, took Ahaziah’s infant son, Joash, and stole him away from among the rest of the king’s children, who were about to be killed. She put Joash and his nurse in a bedroom. In this way, Jehosheba, wife of Jehoiada the priest and sister of Ahaziah, hid the child so that Athaliah could not murder him.”

The story of Athaliah, the mother of King Ahaziah, attempting to destroy the royal family and the courageous act of Jehosheba (Athaliah’s daughter), who protected her nephew Joash, exposed the importance of family dynamics.

It's worth noting that Athaliah was the daughter of the notorious King Ahab and Jezebel. Her actions demonstrated the destructive power of family influences. However, within this evil family lineage, Jehosheba, married to the priest Jehoiada, emerged as a beacon of hope. With her husband's support, they concealed and protected Joash for six years. Jehoiada essentially became a father figure to the young Joash.

2nd Chron 24:2 states that “Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight throughout the lifetime of Jehoiada the priest.” However, vs 17-18: after Jehoiada’s death, the leaders of Judah came and bowed before King Joash and persuaded him to listen to their advice. They decided to abandon the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, and they worshiped Asherah poles and idols instead! Because of this sin, divine anger fell on Judah and Jerusalem.

The end of King Joash’s reign was a sad one. His name was not even mentioned in Jesus' genealogy in both the books of Matthew and Luke, alongside 2 other kings.

Through this, I learned a parenting tip: that as a parent, it is not enough to guide my kids and teach them the word of God. I need to pray constantly that they have their own personal encounter with God, a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit, and are surrounded by the right people so if ever I am not there to guide them, the Holy Spirit, who is our ever-present help, best adviser, and guide, would lead and direct them aright. The goal is to ensure that they can stand firm in their faith even in our absence. While Jehoiada was there, Joash never defaulted, but because his roots were not grounded, it was easy for people to shift and sway him wrongly after the death of his uncle and mentor.

While you are alive, strive to inconvenience yourself if need be and do whatever you must to help sow the right seeds in your children because neither of us knows how long we are here for, and if for any reason you are not, ask yourself whether your children can stand these evil days and the pressures that are before them or would they cave?

As for the singles, I do hope God leads you in making the right choices and entering the right families, and if your family is like that of King Ahab, don’t be dismayed, for you may just be the Princess Jehosheba there to do the right thing. And when you are making a choice in a mate, remember that your choices extend beyond you and can affect generations around you.

See the impact Jehoiada the priest made in the life of Joash, his wife’s nephew. Though not his biological father, he played the role of a father perfectly in the life of the boy. Ask yourself, if something were to ever happen to you, would this person you are with, be able to go the extra mile to love and care for your family members or the things you care about? Without Jehoiada’s support, his wife would never have been able to hide and preserve the life of her nephew.

It's essential to consider whether your partner would go the extra mile to care for your family in your absence. This extends to the choices we make as parents and the role models we choose for our children. I personally sought a mate who could be trusted to love and support my family as I would.

One of the things I looked at when picking a mate was whether or not this candidate would love my family members the way I did and if anything were to ever happen to me, can I depend on him to still love, reach out to them, and be there for them the way I would have? Could my siblings trust my potential spouse and me to raise their kids well if they were not around for any reason?

If ever I have to leave my children in the care of any of my married siblings, I would have no fear because so far, they have been able to marry men whom I am more than confident can be good role models for my children and will raise them right. Hopefully, they would share the same sentiments with me.

I hope these revised reflections on the Book of Kings will provide some clarity and a more seamless reading experience for you.

Allow me to take this opportunity to share a project that God has placed on my heart. In addition to the lessons inspired by my personal struggles and my family, I am in the process of launching a new endeavor called "From My Devotions." Through this platform, I will be sharing insights and lessons drawn from my personal scripture readings. I hope to run this project alongside "Lessons from Nailah." Your prayers, reminders (in case I want to chicken out), and support are greatly appreciated, so please keep an eye out for both of these initiatives.